Thursday, January 31, 2008

The Story Behind The Blog

Sharing an entry that I shared with my graphic group...
 
 The story behind my Blog...
 
"Winivere" stands for "she who wins," although I have had a bit of difficulty winning at my job search these past few months...  I consider myself a woman of "strength, honor, survival, and courage"... This is why you will always find women of strength in my journal...
 
 
Being a product of "damaged goods," it has always been hard for me to see myself as "pretty" or "beautiful." It wasn't until I left my family and was on my own that I began to work at shaping my body to what I wanted it to look like...
 
Marilyn Monroe has always been my image of real "beauty." I have no intention of looking like a stick... I believe that the curves of a woman are the "imperfections" that make her "perfect."
 
When I was in college and when I lived my life as a single parent, I worked out and jogged at least five to six days a week. My body was strong and I was in great shape...
 
But then, I had a bad car accident and I broke a lot of bones. I died and I came back to life... The doctors said that if I survived that I would be in a wheelchair the rest of my life...
 
I was a single parent with two kids... There was no way that I was going to live the rest of my life in a wheelchair! It was the power of the mind that brought me back to life and back to health... but it was a hard struggle and I have had many health problems ever since...
 
 
"The Glass Box" comes from a recurring dream that I have always had of myself in a glass box... In my blog, I refer back to the Glass Box as the place to keep that special treasure... the Venus of myself that is within... My quest is to break free from the Glass Box and become the slim, strong self that I used to be...
 
 
 
My "home" was in Corpus Christi but we moved to Rockport because of a new job... After my baby left to college and after eight years of no vacation, I paid my mother and my brother a visit...
 
My mother and my brother have property in the Valley...  Although my brother is the favorite, my mother and my brother had not talked in 15 years... so I decided to leave my job and I came to look for work in the Valley... It took me two years to convince my brother to forgive my mother and it took a lot of work to make my mother see that she had to change the way she talked to my brother... 
 
I hate the Valley. It is like living in Mexico... It is hard to believe that I have been here almost a decade already... Since I have been here, I have fallen at least four times... and with each fall, the strength of my body has diminished, especially the power in my legs, and I have herniated disks in my lower back... Even putting on clothes, doing housework, and going up and down the stairs is difficult... I feel as if the Valley has pushed me deeper into the Glass Box...
 
 
The Woman in the Glass Box began as documentation of my journey towards weightloss... The picture you see on the side of my journal is the picture of me after I lost 50 lbs... But then life happened...
               again...
 
and I gained the weight back... Will I ever be able to rescue the Woman in the Glass Box... or will she be but a memory of what could have been?!#... My story continues...
 
 
Since then, my journal has transformed itself into a Pandora's Box as I struggle for self... a place of refuge... a place of shared emotions, encouragement, wisdom, and helpful hints for myself that has somehow found its way into the lives of strangers...
 
It has become a placeof new friendships and of more emotional support than I have ever had in my entire life... Sure, readers come and go, but while they are there, it helps to endure the struggles of everyday life...
 
 
A loyal friend is like a safe shelter;
find one, and you have found a treasure.
Nothing else is as valuable;
there is no way of putting a price on it.
~ Sirach 6:14-16
 
Friends are God's way
 of apologizing for family.
xox

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing that with us, Win {{ }}
Be aware that your beauty houses inside, not necessarily on the outside.
Those close to you will recognise that.
Those who do not recognise that do not know you.

Keeping fingers crossed for your new job
Guido

Anonymous said...

{{{{{{WIN}}}}}}  I loved your entry today.  You are so insightful.  Now what happened in the interview girlfriend???  I've been more than patient and didn't bug you, but I would really like to know how you think it went.
Luv & hugs, Joyce

Anonymous said...

thank you for sharing this; you are an amazingly strong woman!!! I believe you will be able to rescue the woman in the glass box; you have determination; I believe you will succeed

betty

Anonymous said...

What a wonderful entry ,you are certainly a strong determined Lady admirable ,love Jan xx

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing a bit of your life story with us.   We think you are just great as you are...Don't try to change yourself you are lovely as you are.   Love  Sybil xx

Anonymous said...

You ARE  beautiful inside and out Winivere .Believe that first and then you can forget about escapeing from The Galss Box.You do not even need to go into The Glass Box.Well for me anyway.Stay out of there always.I lost the  url once to yoru journal as you know,when I was finding my way how to get into J/land,and how it worked.Something new to me early days and not computer literate,now I am never going to lose it again.You are an inspiration to anyone.I am praying 2008 will be your best for a long time,and hoping you get work quickly.Then the woman in the glass box will be no more and you will be returning home from work telling us LIFE IS GOOD!! You Take Care Good Luck with the last interview and if at first we don't succeed try and try again.Something will come along .GOD IS GOOD.Take Care God Bles Kath astoriasand http://journals.aol.co.uk/astoriasand/MYSIMPLERHYMES

Anonymous said...

I enjoyed learning the basis for choosing the name you did and the reasoning behind this journal. I think everytime you stand up for yourself and reflect on the woman you are as a person inside....you slide out of that box a little more. I don't see any box being able to hold your wonderful, compassionate exuberance for life. (Hugs) Indigo

Anonymous said...

You are beautiful as is, my dear friend, and when you truly believe that about yourself, that box will open, no matter how much you weigh. I believe in you and see a woman that humbles me to be a better person, I see no box around you.

You are always in my thoughts and prayers as you walk life's journey, I'm here cheering you on.

Pooh Hugs,
Linda

Anonymous said...

You have a very determined spirit and nothing will ever get you down.  This was a wonderful entry.  It has been a pleasure getting to know you in this way.
You will get there you know.  Nothing will ever stop you.  Not even knock backs in your health.  You will always get up and walk on ahead.
We all make our own kind of 'Glass Box' but its a state of mind.  Nothing physical... so we know we can release it and let it go when we want to.
good luck with the way ahead.
Hugs
Jeanie xx

Anonymous said...

Hi Winivere,

You have been through so much and I really do pray that thinks turn around for you. You should not question whether you have enough faith in God because it is evident that you do. When things don't turn out well for you I can assure you that it is NOT because of your lack of faith in God. I don't know why things are hard right now, but obviously you are a very strong and courageous woman. Only God knows why things are hard and maybe someday it will become clearer later. Maybe things are hard now because GOd knows you can handle it and needs to teach you something about yourself-maybe something you would have never discovered otherwise unless you were dealt a rough card.

I think that you work real hard and do everything you can to accomplish your goals. But sometimes I think that you are a little too hard on yourself when things don't work out. You question whether you did all the right things. I think you are doing great and I think you do all the right things.

I think you should congratulate yourself more and be proud of yourself. If you start doing that and you visualize yourself in the position you want to be, I think things will slowly start to pick up and improve.

I am definitely not an expert and I don't mean to intrude. But whay I am writing you are the lessons I am learning myself first hand and I hope it may help. If not, I am sorry to intrude.

--Sandra

Anonymous said...

I didn't get a chance to comment on this but I just love your journal.  I think we all have a glass box we need to escape from.  I still find you fascinating and just love the graphics and set up of your journal in addition to your entries.  Love n Hugs Chris

Anonymous said...

I just loved this entry.  You are special, extra special!  Don't worry about your hair, your weight, YOU are wonderful. I had no idea you had been thru so much. And come so far. Love your graphics...you are getting really good!

: )  Bethe