Saturday, July 28, 2007

Mirrored Images

The glass that is half-full or half-empty... the optimist and the pessimist... heads or tails... black and white... rich and poor... the grass is always greener... good and bad...

Which image is you and which image are you striving for? Are you striving for the image that others tell you is the right image to be simply because you do not want to be wrong or because that is what you were told to believe? Is there truly one right answer or is it just a glass that is filled with water? What does your image reflect?


Striving to be rich does not make you happy. Being poor does not make you unhappy. In fact, some of my happiest moments were when I was poor, and I mean~ really poor.

        It's funny that when you are happy, money does not seem as important.

What is a mirror anyway?!!!#...

                                                            mirror definition
1. A surface capable of reflecting sufficient undiffused light to form an image of an object placed in front of it. Also called looking glass.
2. Something that faithfully reflects or gives a true picture of something else.
3. Something worthy of imitation.

What do we really see when we look at our reflection? If you hold a printed page up to a mirror, the image is reversed, distorted. Contrary to popular belief, we do not see our reflection with our eyes. We see reflections with our minds.We even see color with our minds. What is our perception of that color? Is it blue-green? Is it green-blue? Is it teal?

A true artist investigates images from every angle before she lifts her brush. Her perception of an image is what she portrays on canvas. Thus, as the saying goes:

         "Beauty is in the mind of the beholder." 

There is nothing wrong with having bad things happen in your life. The question should never be "Why me?" The question should be "Why not me?"

        Adversity builds character. That which does not defeat us makes us stronger.

Sometimes, God has to hit us across the forehead to get our attention, because we are so wrapped up doing stupid things like survival that we forget about all the beautiful things that life has to offer... Sometimes, God forces us to take time to reflect. Sometimes, it is a lesson that we need to learn before we go on to the next chapter of our lives... Sometimes, it is a gift of time, something that you never would have taken the time to do because you were too busy working to survive financially.

If you have ever been in a hospital, they might have set you up to a machine that keeps track of your heartbeat....

      If there is a squiggly line of ups and downs, that is a good sign.


        That means that you are still alive!!!!!!

If that line has no ups or downs or very little ups and downs, the line is flat and that is not good, because even if everything in your life is okay, if there is no ups or downs in your life, that either means that you are dead or that you have no life........


       That is why I am okay when it comes to the Whoops in my life....

          To put it another way....

I am a survivor of emotional, physical, and sexual abuse. I am a survivor of a mother who could never give me love, a woman who is my worst critic and the voices in my head that tell me that I will never amount to anything. I broke almost every major bone in my body, but I am a walking miracle. I died and lived to tell about it. I lost my home, my car, and my credit. I have never been lucky in love and I have never been able to depend on anybody for anything. I have been a single parent most of my life. I went to college after I had my children, with two jobs, no support, and no car. I gave up my dreams to support my children and to survive financially. I continue to live my life alone with an empty nest... and I recently lost my job.

I am a believer. I am an optimist.
The best is yet to come...

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Le Kitchen

If you have ever lived in an apartment, you know how dreadful apartment kitchens are! I don't like my kitchen, because it is too small. I prefer a kitchen large enough for a family to cook in and dance in. Some people like to dress up their kitchens in elegance. Me, I prefer a kitchen that is cheerful and fun. 

A friend asked for pictures of my kitchen, so here are a few quick shots of the bathing beauties and their not so hunks that live in my kitchen.

I also have a swimming pool dip set with two bathing beauties in a hot tub and a lifeguard. I should have taken a picture of that, too. Oh, well, maybe if someone insists on it. =.)

As you can see, I didn't go out and buy fancy stuff for my kitchen, I just added a few items of interest that I already had on hand. The colors in my kitchen are mostly yellow and lavendar. I have a large lavendar rug on the floor and cute mermaids made of wood over the cabinets.

I hung my measuring cups and measuring spoons (not pictured), because they carry the lavendar theme. It makes them more accessible, too, instead of having to fumble through drawers or cabinets.

The eye of newt and toe of frog ceramic containers hold the spices I use the most. They were in my Halloween stuff, but I thought they would be more useful in the kitchen instead of packed away in my Halloween box. The life guard is a salt and pepper set.

The bathing beauties and men in the box are spreaders. I just left them in the original box and hung them on the wall.

The bathing beauties and the pool boy are all candles. The cake is a timer. The tea time book is a real book with tea ideas and recipes. The large lady in the yellow bikini is a cookie jar. 

My dishes are handpainted with fishes and seaweed. They have lovely colors of yellow, blue, pink, and seaweed. They are from an artist in Rockport, Texas. They are a lovely memory of a town where we once lived, but I also have some red square chinese dishes in the cabinet. I don't remember where I got the ceramic canisters. They were very inexpensive, but I fell in love with them. The Queen of the Kitchen rolling pin can hold that special recipe card while you are cooking. The thumbtacs on the bulletin board are from the Mary Englebreit queen of the kitchen collection.

On my refrigerator, I have magnets of Marilyn Monroe (of course!)

So there you have it~ a quick tour of my little kitchen...

Today, I spent a lot of time job searching. Exhausting. The pest control guy showed up. I hate that they come in here so often. I think it is just an excuse for them to come in and check your apartment.

I still have a lot of sorting to do, in attempts to get rid of some clutter, but I don't plan to do too much of that tonight.

Today, I received an email asking: What's that clutter really about? LOL... Ironic...

My favorite telenovela ended yesterday. I hope they don't give another one that I will fall in love with, because I don't want to be a slave to it, but they probably will... Oh, well... BTW, what happened to Grey's Anatomy? It was doing so well, and then, nothing but reruns. I wish they had never moved it to Thursday.

Monday, July 23, 2007

What Are You Afraid of, My Lady?!


I haven't written in my journal very much lately, because I have been feeling a little depressed. What phase is the moon in?!!!!!#

It's times like these that you want to consume the entire contents of the refrigerator, including the ice cube tray, plastic and all... I swear I have been on an eating binge for the past few days!!!!! And then, I tell myself, "Girl, you know that you don't have any income coming in. Snap out of it!!"

Why do I sabatoge myself when I know that I have to be careful about the money I spend? It just doesn't make sense. What am I afraid of? Am I afraid that if I run out of money, I might lose some weight, because I have nothing to eat?!!!!!! Duh... that sounds like a positive out of a negative!

I hate FEAR.

Fear, fear, go away. Go look up my ex. I will show you the way! =.)

~Veer Sharma

~Eleanor Roosevelt
You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself. "I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along."

~Ambrose Redmoon
Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear.

~ Cervantes
He who loses wealth loses much; he who loses a friend loses more; but he that loses courage loses all.

Actually, I think that I am afraid of running out of time. The sound of that clock just keeps on ticking: Tic Toc... tic toc...

I know that by the grace of God, I can do anything that I set my mind to. I have to keep reminding myself that God will take care of me, just as he takes care of the birds and the lilies of the field.

Yesterday, I worked on my bedroom. Getting rid of ten years of clutter is a horrible task. Be smart. Simplify your life before you get to this point! =.)

I moved the bed back to where it originally was, asking myself what I was thinking when I decided to move it! Arranging things in my bedroom is kind of hard, because I do not have bedroom furniture (except for my bed), but I do see progress in the bedroom, and organizing the bedroom, somehow, has cleared things from the living room. (I wonder why that is?!!) Miraculous!

While sorting through my stuff, I found a Pre-Raphaelite calendar that I had been saving for when I could afford to buy frames. I took the frames that I had used at my work to frame as many of the pictures as I could. My bedroom is an "organized" mess, but my walls look wonderful. 

The best part of being creative is that it distracts my mind from thinking too much about my worries and fears.

Sunday, July 22, 2007

EYL Pictures

Here are a few pictures that I took at Extreme Youth Leadership Camp~ Mission Possible 2007. I won't add too many, because they take too much time to load.


Our Family Group~

Top Row: Majale, Ashley, Karina, Mary K, Kirstie, Kenneth, Marquis.

Bottom Row: Cassandra, Leslie, Chelse, Leopoldo, Dee, Nina, Matthew

   Human Knot

   Trust Walk

   Drum Nights

 Boys as Spice Girls~ Entertainment Night

   Madea Wannabe(?) ~ Pat on last day of Camp~lol @ mustache

I was hoping that EYL would have already posted the pictures from camp online, but they are not in yet.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

HappyBirthday2Me =.)


Where did the day go?! Today is my birthday. I am now a sexy older woman. LOL...

I received a few emails from my graphic group and about three new tags. Hooray!

Because I am out of a job, I was looking for yellow flowers, but God blessed me with a bouquet of roses in all the colors. They were less than $10.00 at Wal-Mart, today, so I had to get them. They are so beautiful. Last year, I bought myself some purple roses. Looks as if I am getting flowers once a year. If only they were attached to this.......LOL...


Sunday, July 15, 2007

Back from EYL

If I had not lost my job, I would not have been able to attend Youth Leadership camp this year, because I would have been busy working summer school. My daughter, Angel, and I attended youth leadership camp in 1997 and I have been wanting to return to volunteer as a staffer again since then. (Angel claims it was 12 years ago. I am not sure...) Unfortunately, when you work, sometimes, your employer will not allow you to take that much time off.

It is such a blessing when something bad brings something good into your life.

Friday before last, I drove up to San Antonio to visit with my daughter, Angel, and her little familia. She drove me to the bus station, and I took the bus from there. The bus drove up to Houston with a three hour layover and then proceeded to Huntsville. Because of safety, I chose to stay awake all night, which was good, because it did not look safe. When I arrived at Huntsville, there was no one to greet me, so I sat down on the bench, because the station was closed. Then this patrol car pulled up. I was greeted by the director of the camp and a border patrol agent. I rode in the back of a border patrol car with a rifle and bullets but no handcuffs. LOL... That was fun. 

I didn't eat breakfast or lunch on Sunday, because the cafeteria was not open. I was glad that I had packed some raisins and some green tea packets, but I was really craving real food!

I registered into room 220 (the double two's, as always!), and went in to take a nap. Training began on Sunday afternoon. They did not complete the printing for our handbooks, so we didn't get the notebooks until late Monday night. On Sunday, it was basicly an overview of what were would be doing and we learned a few games. After training, there was dinner and a staff meeting, but I was still hungry after dinner because I hadn't eatten all day. We were not through with the staff meeting until about 12:30am.

On Monday, we received all of the training in one day. OMGGG....  We learned more games and received instruction for the whole week. We didn't find out whom we would be pairing up with until the very end. I don't know if that was done on purpose or if it was done that way because the workbooks were not completed until the last minute.

I was very surprised that they paired me up with someone who had never been at camp before, especially since they recognized me as a new staffer. I was even more surprised that they paired me up with an "orange." We both had hesitations and my co-fac wanted out that first day! He said he was only there, because his sister forced him to be there. He added to the fire when he said that I was going to have to do everything, because he was not good at speeches or anything!

Our theme this year was fast food. My co-fac and I were Popeye's. We had to make a sign so that the campers would know who we were and we would know which kids would be ours. Junior said he could make the sign, but he wasted 20 minutes and didn't even make the P.  If I had known that he couldn't do it, I would have been 20 minutes ahead, but because we didn't finish with our staff meeting until about 1:00am, I decided to wake up early to work on the sign instead up staying up later to finish it. I thank God that I was able to make the sign so quickly, because at the rate I was going, I didn't think that I would have had time to go to breakfast.

I am 100% exhausted and I still have my bags in the car, so I will write more tomorrow. I'm sorry if my words are somewhat scrambled... I am just tired...

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

Independence Day

We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Thomas Jefferson

Educate and inform the whole mass of the people... They are the only sure reliance for the preservation of our liberty.
Thomas Jefferson

I must study politics and war that my sons may have liberty to study mathematics and philosophy.
John Adams

The natural liberty of man is to be free from any superior power on Earth, and not to be under the will or legislative authority of man, but only to have the law of nature for his rule.
Samuel Adams

Where liberty is, there is my country.
Benjamin Franklin

Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both.
Benjamin Franklin

There is a certain enthusiasm in liberty, that makes human nature rise above itself, in acts of bravery and heroism.
Alexander Hamilton

Give me liberty or give me death.
Patrick Henry

When the American spirit was in its youth, the language of America was different: Liberty, sir, was the primary object.
Patrick Henry

The advancement and diffusion of knowledge is the only guardian of true liberty.
James Madison

Liberty, when it begins to take root, is a plant of rapid growth.
George Washington

When we assumed the Soldier, we did not lay aside the Citizen.
George Washington

Some day, following the example of the United States of America, there will be a United States of Europe. 
George Washington

There, I think King George will be able to read that. (upon signing the Declaration of Independence) 
John Hancock


Tuesday, July 3, 2007

My Monday Plan


I have always been fascinated with the moon... ever since my dad would sit me on his lap and recite "Hey Diddle Diddle," as we watched the moon together. My time with my dad was for only three years of my life. I often wonder what my life would have been like if he had lived...

Yesterday, I shared the story of the Goddess of the Moon. I am fascinated at how much mythology has inspired artists and poets all over the world.
I am disappointed that I misplaced "my plan." The last time I saw it was when I took it to the supermarket... I will try to write things down from memory...
Characteristics of the Moon

Intuition, dreams, sleep, emotional healing, woman's health, woman's fertility, children, home, psychic abilities, reincarnation.


COLORS TO WEAR TODAY~ Blue, White, Silver, Gray 

JEWELRY TO WEAR TODAY~ Silver Jewelry, Moonstone, Pearls

FOODS TO EAT TODAY~ Food that lives in water or has high water content: Fish, seafood, cucumbers, celery, tomatoes, zucchini, peaches, watermelon, beans, rice, pasta, tortilla, cheddar cheese

note: I will have to come back to this entry when I find my notes.

<-TAG from Debbie of ADC Graphic Group but I do not know if she made it because it does not say ADC on it.

P.S... The landlady told me that she had to do a double take when she saw me today, because my ponytail made me look slimmer. Can your hair make you look fat?! Now, there is a question!!

I don't think it was the ponytail. My new scale is not very accurate, so it is hard to measure by the scale. Sometimes, I wonder why the store windows show a fat person staring back at me, because lately, I do feel that my stomach is a little tighter and my  underwear do not roll down my womanly curves. It is quite refreshing to have your underwear stay put exactly where they are supposed to be!  I was surprised that when I took out the tape measure, I have lost a couple of inches around the waist. As I have been going through boxes and things in my apartment, I have discovered that I have lots and lots of tape measuring tapes. LOL @ memories of past diet strategies. =.)

Monday, July 2, 2007

Monday's Goddess

Selene & Endymion

Monday is ruled by the moon. The Moon Goddess has many names: Artemis, Diana, Selene, Luna. For today's story, I will refer to her as Selene, because when I think of the huntress, I think of Diana.

Selene was the twin sister of the sun god, Apollo (who is on my Sunday plan). By day, Selene (Diana) was a skilled archer who would hunt in the woods and enhance her beauty by bathinig in the sea. In the meantime, her brother, Apollo (sun), would make his journey across the sky in his magnificent chariot. At day's end, Selene (moon) would rise in her chariot and drive across the sky, shining her brilliance upon the earth. 

One evening, the moon goddess caught a glimpse of a handsome young shepherd. He was sleeping on a hillside with his sheep scattered over the gentle slope. Selene was so attracted to his beauty that she stepped out of her chariot to get a closer look. She just stood there in awe, gazing at the beauty of his face. Then she bent down and kissed him softly on the lips...

The first time ever I saw your face
I thought the sun rose in your eyes
And the moon and stars were the gifts you gave
To the dark and the empty skies, my love,
To the dark and the empty skies.

The first time ever I kissed your mouth
And felt your heart beat close to mine
Like the trembling heart of a captive bird
That was there at my command, my love
That was there at my command.

And the first time ever I lay with you
I felt your heart so close to mine
And I knew our joy would fill the earth
And last till the end of time my love
It would last till the end of time my love

The first time ever I saw your face, your face,
your face, your face...

~~~~~~~~~~"The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face" by Roberta Flack

The sleeping shepherd was half-wakened by her kiss. He rose quickly and rubbed his eyes, but he only caught a fleeting vision of her chariot flying quickly across the sky. Was it real or was it but a dream? 

Selene kept thinking about Endymion. The following night, she could not stay away. She had to see him again, but Endymion never caught more than a glimpse of her.

Selene was so drawn to Endymion's beauty, that she kept coming to Earth, and she started to neglect her goddess duties. This angered Zeus, so they had a little talk.

Selene told Zeus that she kept coming to earth because she was afraid that Endymion would lose his beauty as he aged, because he was a mortal. Selene wanted Endymoin to be immortal so that she could be with him forever, and she was hoping that Endymion would want to be immortal, too. She pleaded with Zeus to grant Endymion whatever he wished for, but Endymion did not ask to be immortal. He was a vain mortal who just wanted to retain his good looks. Zeus wanted Selene to return to her goddess duties, so he granted Endymion's wish. He cast a spell on Endymion to retain his good looks but with one catch... eternal sleep.

Selene carried Endymoin to a cave in a mountain-side known only to herself. Each night, as she rode her chariot across the sky, she would come to earth to stop by the cave and visit the sleeping Endymion. The legend is that Selene gave the sleeping Endymion fifty daughters, which represent the moons of the year. This is why Selene is also known as the goddess of fertility. In Italy, there is a statue of the multi-breasted moon goddess.

More info on Monday's Plan coming tomorrow.

Sunday, July 1, 2007

Helpful Hints- Metabolism

Today's Helpful Hints:
*boost your metabolism*
(part one) 

" A life that is lived being over-weight

is a life that is only half-lived." ~Oprah Winfrey

Because I have hypothyroidism (low metabolic rate), it is harder for me to lose weight than it is for the average person. This is part one of a series of foods to help to rev up your metabolism and improve your health. Consider these foods on your next trip to the supermarket!

1. Apples~ melt fat, prevent hunger pangs by stabilizing blood sugar levels...(pectin)~ good for diabetes, lower cholesterol, lower high blood pressure (HBP).

2.  Asparagus~ breaks down fat cells, diuretic, get rid of bloat... (asparagine)~ good for healthy circulation and kidney function

3. Berries~ reduces & releases fat absorption... (fiber, pectin)~ good for cellulite

4. Bread (whole grain: pumpernickel, whole wheat, mixed grain, oatmeal)~ reduces appetite, feel less hunger. According to Norweigian study, people who eat less than two slices of bread daily weigh about eleven pounds more than people who eat a lot of whole grain bread, and people who eat white bread were hungrier and ate more fattening foods... (fiber, complex carbohydrates, protein)~ good for weight loss.

5. Coffee~ fat burner, boostsmetabolism 10%... (caffeine)~ limit to two cups daily

6. Garlic~ antibiotic, antiviral, reduces fat cells, fires up metabolism

7. Grapefruit~ natural fat and cholesterol fighter... (vitamin C, potassium, galacturonic acid)~ to take away tart taste, sprinkle with cinnamon instead of sugar.

8. Mustard (hot Mexican, Indian, or Asian kind)~ temporarily speeds up metabolism more safely than caffeine. One teaspoon can speed up metabolism to as much as 20-25% for several hours.

9. Onions~ fat burner, speeds up metabolism

10. Peppers~ metabolism-raising properties (thermogenic) fall into the same category as hot mustard... (vitamin C, calcium, phosphorous, iron, magnesium, fiber)

11. Potatoes~ rapid weight loss... (fiber, potassium)~ lower cholesterol, protect against strokes and heart disease. Top them with lemon juice, chives or plain low-fat yogurt instead of butter, milk or sour cream.

12. Rice~ rapid weight loss and medical results... good for reversing & curing kidney ailments and high blood pressure

13. Soup~ Homemade Soup Recipe:  slice three large onions, three carrots, four stalks celery, one zucchini, one yellow squash. Place in kettle. Add three cans crushed tomatoes and two packets low-sodium chicken bouillon, three cans water and one cup white wine (optional). Add tarragon, basil, oregano, thyme and garlic powder. Boil, and then, simmer for one hour. Serves six.... Can have this soup in limitless quantities without gaining weight.

14. Soybeans~ blocks fat absorption & promotes the breakdown of fatty deposits... (lecithin)~ eat three times a week.

15. Spinach~ burns fat, revs up metabolism, lowers cholesterol... (iron, beta-carotene, vitamin C, vitamin E)

16. Tofu (soybean curd)~ makes your metabolism run on high, lowers cholesterol... (calcium, iron)~ Because tofu is tasteless, anything you add to eat will blend nicely. The firm kind is good for stir-frying or adding to soups and sauces. The soft kind is good for mashing, pureeing, chopping, and adding to salads. Recommended intake @ 40 grams per day.

I was a bit disappointed in the way I wrote my Sunday plan. I think it was too long. It would have been better to cut it up in pieces and elaborate on each section. My plan is not perfected. I am still going through trial and error to see what works for me, but once it is finished, I think it will be easier to remember how to plan and organize my days...