Friday, March 31, 2006

Angels Among Us

Sunday, March 26, 2006

The Mirror

On the 14th of March, I found the courage to take photographs of myself in a two-piece bathing suit. On the 15th of March, I found the courage to have those pictures developed and to look at them with both eyes. How my body has changed, Lord. I am wearing my hurt and my pain for all the world to see, and with each pound that I gain, I become more and more vulnerable to physical and emotional injury.


Who will cry for the little girl
Lost and all alone
Who will cry for the little girl
Abandoned without her own
Who will cry for the little girl
She cried herself to sleep
Who will cry for the little girl
Who'll never have "for keeps"
Who will cry for the little girl
Who walked on burning sand
Who will cry for the little girl
The girl inside the woman
Who will cry for the little girl
Who knew well hurt and pain
Who will cry for the little girl
Who died and died again
Who will cry for the little girl
A good girl she tried to be
Who will cry for the little girl
Who cries inside of me
~ From the movie Antwone Fisher

Every day, I try to be a better person from the inside, but it is the outside that keeps me from enjoying life. God did not intend for me to be fat. God did not intend for me to live a life that is only half-lived. Even if my mother or my friends forsake me, God will never let me down. I turn my face to God, and I cry for the little girl who cries inside of me... the woman in the Glass Box. I have beaten the odds so many times in my life. God, help me to do it again...

With GOD, all things are POSSIBLE.

By March 21st, I lost three pounds. Lord, do not allow my enemies to destroy me. Help me to help that little girl who cries inside of me. Help me to remain standing.

Saturday, March 18, 2006

In The Beginning






    Marilyn Monroe 1926-1962

I am a firm believer of Visualization.

If you can dream it, you can achieve it.

Hollywood claimed Marilyn's measurements at 37-23-36, but her dressmaker claimed her measurements at 35-22-35. I dont know when these measurements were taken. It is obvious that Marilyn's weight went up and down throughout her film history, but she was slimest shortly before her death. Perhaps that is when the measurements were taken. Personally, I liked her best when she was a bit heavier. Shaping my body to be exactly like hers seems impossible, but my goal is not to look like a ruler or a stick. Real women have curves, and it is the curves of woman's body and the air of confidence within herself that make a woman look even more phenomenal than she really is.

When people find something beautiful, they try their best to preserve it, so that it will stay beautiful as long as possible. Some people wrap it up in tissue paper and put it away in a box, but the beautiful object becomes hidden from sight, and in time, they forget about it. Some people display that beautiful treasure behind glass.

The name for The Glass Box came to be because of the many reoccurring dreams I have had in the past of myself in a glass box. The Glass Box holds the treasure that is within myself, except that in the box, I am the slim self that I used to be. I dont want my weightloss goals to become forgotten and hidden from sight. I dont want to live the rest of my life being fat. I dont want to look back and regret that I failed to lose the weight while I was still young enough to enjoy the youthful beauty of my body. 

Nothing tastes as good as thin feels.

By my computer is a glass box... a constant reminder of my goal.

I am The Woman in The Glass Box.

I am Win.

I am.

 Win =.)

Friday, March 17, 2006

The LUCK of the IRISH


Photo Credit:


   Happy St. Patrick's Day

Dont Miss Your OPPORTUNITY to get PINCHED today.

Where did the week go? I cant believe it's Friday already. If you are Irish, send a little of that magic my way so that I can get through the first pages of this weightloss chapter, for the first pages are always the hardest.

Behind every addiction is a story. ~ Tyler Perry (aka Madea)

Most drug addicts cannot leave drugs cold turkey. Their body needs time to adjust to living without drugs. As hard as it is for drug addicts to leave drugs, it is harder for the dieter to lose weight, because the human body needs to continue to eat to survive.

Most people think that in order to lose weight, a person needs to starve themselves and exercise more until the weight comes off. If we are gentle with drug addicts, why cant I be more gentle with myself when it comes to food? My body also needs time to adjust to this life change. Sometimes, when we try to do things in a hurry, it doesnt get done and/or we get further behind.


Today, I will be gentle with myself. I will eat, but I will try to be more patient with myself by making my eating conscious.

Win  =.)

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

The Deepest Self

When the body and mind are truly relaxed, a person is open to changing all negative attitudes. A person is open to letting new positive ideas come into the deepest self~ the unconscious.

I am attractive.
I have a healthy body.
I will control my eating.
I will become thinner.
The physical went well on Tuesday, but BP is up from all the stress. There have been many obstacles that I have had to conquer this week, but I was able to get those shocking before pics. 
Win =.)

Monday, March 13, 2006

artist Renato Casaro

I dont know if these fun art prints will show up, but when I was browsing the web today, I ran across them and I wanted to share what I have found. The first one is one that I have seen, but the second one came as an interesting surprise.

            Star is Born (Birth of Venus w Marilyn)


Sometimes a woman needs to make up her mind between her face and her fanny. ~ Marilyn Monroe

Today, I learned that Mary has been linking my journal into hers. Today, I was surprised to learn that when I felt like giving up on my journal, God sent me a new reader. Today, I was surprised that even though the count is way off, my counter miraculously started working again!

It is true that AOL makes it very difficult and time consuming to write in my journal, but if my journal helps but one person, then, I must make the effort of continuing to write. Mary, I am sorry if I let you down by saying that I was going to stop writing. Thanks for not giving up on me. Even if I never reach my ideal weight, I know that I must keep on trying. I love you, Mary. You are my forever friend.

Win  =.)

Sunday, March 12, 2006



If I measure success by the world's standards, I will always feel that I am not good enough, but if I measure success by the impossible things I have been able to accomplish, I realize that I am capable of accomplishing great things.

  ( Travolta taking a walk @ the Oscars. Great pic; dontcha think?!#)

Impossible things are happening everyday.

Expect a Miracle.

PERSEVERANCE: It's not how you fall, but how you pick yourself up again...  I fall and I fall, but here you find me, trying to pick myself up AGAIN. Hopefully, this time, I will stay UP.

Win  =.)

Sunday, March 5, 2006

Is It Time for Goodbye?

In the beginning, my journal started out with a bang. I was successful against all odds, because I was so determined. But after the breakup with the last guy and the constant criticism from my mother, I began going downhill and I am still at the bottom of that hill.

I appreciate the online friends that I have made, but I dont feel that I have enough support.

The bad part of my online journal is that I cannot physically hold it in my hands. It takes so long to write and save an entry. AOL is supposed to be faster, but with all the ads, for me, it is even slower than it was before. I have said that I am going to quit AOL many times, and yet, I am still here. I think it would be more helpful if I went back to an old fashioned handwritten diary.

Perhaps this time my words will stick or maybe these thoughts will pass. I have been too stressed to think about dieting.

Win =.)Fairy