I havent been able to dream in a long time, but early Saturday morning, I awakened remembering that I had met someone new in my dreams. Before I forget, I need to write it in my journal.
The man in my dreams seemed too good to be true. He was able to carry a good conversation (very important) and there were times when I caught myself laughing in my sleep. And then, I felt shy and bashful, like I do when I like someone. I lifted my eyes and took a really good look at him. Somehow my heart just knew that he was the one.
I wonder if a new love is coming into my life or if it just a secret desire of my heart. I am so used to living by myself. Will I be able to open my heart to love?
While I am sleeping, I usually feel the presence of someone watching me, but this past week, I sensed something very unusual. I actually heard people/spirits talking while I was sleeping. I couldnt tell what they were saying, but it's as if one of them was giving the other one orders, and I felt as if they were talking about me. I felt startled, but I didnt wake up. Instead, I went off into a restful sleep. I hope I am not becoming schizophrenic! This happened on Wednesday, the first day of summer. I wonder if it was just the summer heat.
I didnt pay much attention when it happened, except that it happened again this morning. As I lay sleeping, I saw an old woman talking to someone. I think it was the same person who was giving orders on Wednesday. The old woman was wearing a housedress and an apron. I wish I had been able to make out the colors. I think I dream in black and white. Anyways, she said something to him and then she put my hand in hers, picked up my hand, and pulled me up by the hand as she told me, "OK, mijita. Let's get up." I could feel her lifting my hand, and when I awakened, my hand was lifted up in the air. It felt very unusual, but I woke up smiling.
It felt as if these spirits were helping me. I wonder if they are protecting me against the incubus. I wonder if they are ancestors. I wonder if they were really there or if I was just dreaming really loud.
I havent done anything but eat, sleep, and mess up my apartment this weekend. I feel guilty about not doing anything. I have been feeling so lethargic. I wonder if this feeling is because I am worried about my work. I am afraid that I wont be able to complete my work at the other campus on time. The people will be on vacation this week. I went last week to get my papers but the building was locked and the lights were off. There were lots of cars but nobody answered the door. I must make an effort to see if I can get in.