Wednesday, March 31, 2004

148.0

Eating healthy. Three meals a day and three snacks. Down 0.5 lb! Three pounds away from obesity to "overweight." Surprised that the belt I couldnt even get on the first notch when I started is now down to the fourth notch.

The picture above is of Selena Quintanilla Perez. Today marks another anniversary of her death/murder. Because she spent most of her life on the road with her band, she received her high school diploma through the mail. Sometimes she would go to the schools to encourage kids to stay in school. Although she was a star, she continued to live in one of the poorest neighborhoods in Corpus Christi. She was an awesome human being and I was surprised that we were alike in so many ways. I ran into her a couple of times at a store where I used to love to shop in downtown Corpus Christi. We would laugh at the crazy shoes, but of course, try them on to see how they looked. Selena was so humble, so down to earth, so full of life. She opened the doors for latina performers in a business where only men found success. Her murder was like a shot heard around the world and her passing set the whole world into mourning. Her death was not only a great loss to our Latin culture but also for the music world.  

Went to get an ECHO of my heart today. It looked like my heart was on fire with all the pretty colors. I dont know what the test means, but I have a pretty heart. =.)

AOL continues to ask for a picture to feature my journal. I had a really bad hair day on the last pic. LOL.. Cant have that picture featured all over the world. What if Richard Gere or Oprah see it?! Teehee....

Today, God sent me three people. Funny how out of all the people I see, I can tell the ones He sends. Only You know why You have planted me here, Lord. My heart wants so much to be near the ocean. I miss Corpus Christi.

Tuesday, March 30, 2004

EXCESS WITHIN CONTROL

Continue @ plateau. Body has learned to function at same calories, at same routine. Need to change my strategy. Instead of cutting back on calories, I am eating more, but trying to maintain weight at the extra calories. Hopefully, this trick will help to get me back into the fat-burning stage I was before. Great to be eating healthy, watching combination of foods, and savoring every morsel. What should I eat today?!! Oh the possibilities!!!

Because of pains in my hip and lower back, I have stopped walking for awhile and have switched to free weights and stretches for body shaping instead.

Monday, March 22, 2004

WHEN GOD CLOSES ONE DOOR...

WHEN GOD CLOSES ONE DOOR, HE OPENS ANOTHER. Trust in God to make things right in your life. Today, your life may not be what you want it to be, but God has a great sense of humor, and sometimes, He has a surprise for you right around the corner. Listen. Take heart. Watch for it. Miracles happen everyday.

Hold true to yourself and remember that the miracle is YOU. Think of how blue and miserable you feel when you are overweight. Think of all that you are missing when you continue to allow yourself to remain in the Glass Box. You have to be brave enough to stop taking back the pounds you have lost.  You have come too far to keep opening and closing and reopening that door.  You are already halfway. Dont turn back. There is a new door waiting to be opened. Keep going and you will reach it, too.

Sunday, March 21, 2004

WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF, MY LADY?

A cage (my glass box)... to stay within its four walls until use and old age accepts them and all chance of valor has gone beyond recourse or desire...        from The Lord of the Rings

Life has been most stressful since last entry. Seems management is either neurotic or psychotic, which creates even more stress on poor insignificant peons like myself. Needless to say, manangement's inappropriate behaviors continue to put a frenzy on my eating habits. This has not been good for me during the past few days, but should that gluttony continue into my weekend?! Luckily, I have released anything that is unhealthy from my kitchen, but the scale will be able to tell the truth about my binging... I dare not look... least not until I have a chance to catch up with my exercise and return to eating like a normal human being....  

Also, more stress... found out that my childhood sweetheart might be coming to Texas next month. I havent seen him since I was 15. At that time, we vowed that someday we would be together, but so much time has passed, I doubt if he remembers that promise.  I am afraid of what I might find, for it is my memory of him that holds my heart captive.

Vida, dime quien eres tu? Ponle nombre a tu seduccion. Donde esta la otra mitad de mi corazon?! Vida, caja de sorpresas de historias que me faltan por contar.

Wednesday, March 17, 2004

148.5 ~ St Patrick's Day

St Patty's Day. Not afraid to get pinched today. Wearing my green underneath my clothes. =.)

Still trying to get to that borderline. How can 3.5 lbs be so hard to get to?!!!

Going to the vampire this am for labwork. Hopefuly, the luck of the Irish will be with me this morning and I dont come out looking like a drug addict with all the holes she will put in me at just trying to find my vein!!! Oh how I dread getting my blood drawn. Sighhhhh....

It rained for three days and wasnt able to go walking. Started up with BodyFlex again on Monday. Walked six miles last night. Hope to see some inch loss in my mid-section with the BodyFlex. =.)

Monday, March 15, 2004

Stuck @ 149.0

Sunday, March 14, 2004

149.5... second weigh in @ 149.0

OK... Frustrated with myself. Ate too much salt yesterday. Scale went up 1/2 lb, probably from nothing else except the salt!! That is what happens when your mother tries to feed you. Something inside you makes you want to comply even though your mind tells you otherwise. Mustnt let this drawback set me back. Keep focused, girl! You've come too far to repeat losing the same lbs over and over and over again!! Anxious to cross that borderline from obesity to overweight, even though I do get a lot of looks from the opposite sex. The walking has helped me to lose 30 lbs in about six weeks and it has gotten my lower body in shape. I am two days away from being on this program for 2 months, but for the past couple of weeks, my body seems to be at a plateau. Still, I am grateful that I havent gained and that I have been able to maintain.

This week, I need to focus on reshaping my upper body and go back to BodyFlex. Only thing is that you have to do Body Flex on an empty stomach. That's the part that is hard for me, because in the morning, I am so busy trying to get ready to go to work that I usually drink my shake while I am getting ready, but if I want to see results, I will need to get up 20 minutes earlier and just do it! Not walking everyday will be hard for me, because walking has become a great stress reliever. I really dont want to give up walking everyday, but this week I will need to cut down on my walking and focus more on reshaping my upper body.

I am so glad my son in law has become inspired to lose weight. He has lost 10 lbs so far! Makes me happy! =.)

Second weigh in... Went back to sleep and woke up 1/2 lb lighter. LOL... THOU SHALT NOT EAT SO MUCH SALT!!!!! =.)

Saturday, March 13, 2004

Fat Pictures

Visited a childhood friend this morning. Surprised that I am thinner than her. She has always been so thin. In the back of my mind I still wonder about her brother sometimes, but I didnt ask. 

Visited my mom to see if she had some of my fat pictures, since I refuse to keep any of the fat ones. LOL... Funny how she wants me to lose weight but she wants to feed me... Surprised that she said I am doing good, but of course, she said to keep going until I am a size 10. I think she still remembers me when I was a size zero. At my age, being a size zero would not be good for my face! I told her the jeans I was wearing were a size 4 but she said that's ok. You just keep going until you are a size 10. LOL... Can never please her.

Went to see my mechanic. He was surprised that I lost weight and he put his arm around my waist and asked me if I was going to be his girlfriend. LOL ..Why do people always go for my waist?!! Do they think it is not real or what?! Maybe because like Dolly Parton, my waist just looks small. As Dolly says, not much grows in the shade. Teehee =.)

I went to the old mall to look for a CD and I found it! It is the song I am listening to right now. It is called Tu Es Foutu. It is French pop. Love it! Love it! Love it! Makes me happy. I wanted to get a french pedicure but the woman who does my toes had the day off, so I went looking at the clothes. Nothing I want out there... Ughhh... Surprised ruche is back, though. I love ruche. My sexy black winter dress has ruche. I was looking at the belts and the salesclerk/cashier came up close to me, almost as if he was smelling my perfume or something, and gently whispered: mmm-mmm. LOL... I am sure I must have blushed all the colors of the rainbow.

 

 

Thursday, March 11, 2004

WILL THE REAL MARILYN PLEASE STAND UP

Just recd this pic of my grandaughter, Isabella Victoria. Isnt she adorable?! See her pretty pierced ears?!!!! She has red hair and green eyes. Oh, wish I could hold her.... Nana loves you, Bella. =.)

My goals for journaling are to inspire and to be inspired. I love going into my aol journal buddies journals and seeing how you are doing. You have become a part of my world. Thank you so much for sharing. Your kind words keep me focused and help me to succeed. Journaling daily is a must if you are trying to keep focused on your goal.

DREAMS, GOALS, AMBITIONS... What are yours?!! 

Wednesday, March 10, 2004

THE BEST THING TO SHOW OFF...

Wow. Surprised to see 5 comments on my mini-break at the ocean! Thanks for dropping by and thanks so much for your comments, girls. If you all read this, perhaps I will find out what Loopy mood is!! ha ha...

Seems like I have come to a plateau. Could it be, because even though I am still considered obese, I wouldnt mind staying at this weight. Better snap out of that. ha ha... Strength is power over time. Stay focused. Didnt feel like walking tonight, but I did.. Oh so proud of moi.

According to the doctor's chart, I should be six foot and playing for the NBA. Who makes up those charts anyway? And by who's body did they measure?! Dang. I would much rather look like Marilyn Monroe than like Kate Moss anyday. Marilyn didnt have a flat tummy, but every woman wanted to look like her and every man wanted a woman who looked like her. Dont want to look like the stick figures we drew as kids... no way! Also, how can I be a size 4 jeans at this weight? Did they change the size tags to smaller sizes when we werent looking?!

Figuring out what to wear is getting harder and harder. I hate looking like everybody else. That's why I am very selective about patterned clothing. I know there will be someone out there wearing the same thing. I like to be different. And from what I see at stores, the tops are cut up to here and the pants are cut down to there. What is that?! Although I would consider piercing my belly button, I would never pierce my eyebrow. Owwww...   

Today I wore a black pencil skirt with a black shirt and belt and turquoise jewelry. What a rush to see your coworkers stare at your progress in disbelief! The best thing to show off is a new body. =.)

Sunday, March 7, 2004

Corpus Christi Mini Break

With all the stress I have been having at work lately, Calgon just isnt enough! Palm Trees at Night

I miss Corpus so much, so I decided to take a weekend mini-break, just soaking in the sights, going to my favorite places, eating real seafood, and spending time with my best friend.

I was going to go to the St Jude shrine, but driving down Ocean Drive, I ended up at the church we used to attend. At the middle of the mass, we offer the sign of peace to each other. When this old man saw me, his face lit up and he blessed me for God's protection and blessings, and after mass, he came up to me and blessed me again. That was so unexpected but so very nice.

When I was on Ocean Drive, I had to stop, take in the scenery, and take a picture of the view. If you have never been in front of the ocean, you dont know what you are missing. View of Marina

It makes my heart dance to be in front of the water and to smell the cool ocean breeze. No wonder I miss it!  I wasnt really dressed to take a picture. The outfit I was wearing was one that I couldnt get into and it fits really loose now, except at the bust. ha ha... but this jogger volunteered to take my picture, so if it turns out alright, I may put it in my journal, but I really need to take my picture in something more fitted.

Bayfront View at Night

I found a size 4 pair of Gloria Vanderbilt jeans and was surprised that they zipped up! WOW! I also bought 2 pairs of size 4 capris. I still need to work on reshaping my upper bod and whittling a smaller waist. I'm pretty sure I didnt lose any weight over the weekend, but I couldnt walk away from the area without eating a seafood platter on Saturday and a sinful bean taco from Baca's on Sunday. That's not too bad!!! The best thing is that I feel so relaxed. I hope this feeling lasts for the whole week! ha ha Definitely need to make time to take more mini-breaks! =.)

USS Lexington

Friday, March 5, 2004

Breast Cancer Fund Raiser

Joyce Meyer's message today was to increase your sowing by keeping your eyes open for opportunites to give.

My daughter is participating in the

Susan G Komen Breast Cancer Foundation

fund raising event of March 27, 2004. If you would like to donate some funds to this cause, I have provided the hyperlink in the favorite site section of my journal.

149.5

Wow! Cannot believe how my body is reshaping itself. Is there such a thing as having sexy, cornered shoulders?!!! Looks like there is hope at the possibility of getting slimmer arms! =.) I dont know how much more weight I have to lose. I am allowing my body to be my guide. All I know is that even at this weight, I definitely am impressed with the results I am getting from this program. Oh, would be so nice to be able to wear skimpy summer clothes! Visualizing sundresses and halter tops! Also, everybody says that when you lose weight, your breasts get smaller. I suppose if I was running, that might happen. At my age, I have to consider the mishaps of gravity, but walking hasnt interfered with "the girls" at all. In fact, I havent had to buy a different bra size yet and I am definitely the same cup size! =.)

Thursday, March 4, 2004

150.0

Feeling frustrated by my work. I miss the ocean. Need to get away to maintain my sanity. Made plans to go see my best friend in Corpus Christi this weekend.

Excited to see the scale going down. Oh if I could only wave a magic wand, but achieving the body I want will not happen just by wishing. I have lost about 30 lbs so far. Cant let the everyday frustrations of life get in my way.

If your faith is but the size of a mustard seed, you can tell a mountain to move and it will move! The miracle is YOU.

Wednesday, March 3, 2004

150.5

OK, nosey Tracy (teehee)... about lunch, I had a caesar salad. It was scrumptous. LOL.. I liked his son. I think he liked me, too, because I paid attention to him. I am nervous, though, because he found out my age. Oops!

Excited to be getting closer to crossing the obesity line. Havent been able to take a picture yet, because it has been so windy. Talk about frizzzzzzz!!!!!!!! ughhhhhhhhhhh

Tuesday, March 2, 2004

151.0

OMGGGG... I am one pound away from 150 and six pounds away from obesity to overweight!!! Now that the doctor is helping me to regulate my thyroid, perhaps I will reach my ideal weight in less time!! =.)

My friend is coming from Galveston in March. She weighs 134. All my friends are thin. Sighhhh... Oh so hard not to be part of that world anymore. I am dying to take my life back.

A life that is spent being overweight is a life that is only half-lived. Oprah Winfrey

Monday, March 1, 2004

153.5

Ate too much yesterday, but fortunately, I ate all the right foods. I finally got my meds yesterday and I felt well enough to walk six miles. I am down to 153.5 this morning. Oh so excited to finally pass 154.0!!

He called last night and wants me to meet him and his son for lunch today. I am excited that he wants me to meet his son, but I am also worried. I hope things go ok today.