Sunday, January 30, 2005

Buenos Amigos

It is so hard to try to pick up the pieces when you are hurting. I look at the journals of all of these overweight women who travel to exotic and exciting places, who have such beautiful homes, a loving husband, and such wonderful families and friends who offer them so much love and support and I wonder:

Why are they overweight when they have everything? What is their void? What are they missing?

When I was walking last night, I laughed to think that

 some people stuff themselves with food, and then, they complain about having to exercise to take it off.

Boy, am I guilty of that. Stop it! There is no need to punish myself like that! 

It makes sense for the hurt and fear in my heart to manifest itself in my overweight body~ but then, I am not anymore special than anyone else who is trying to lose weight.

Much like the Woman in the Glass Box, living in this area makes me feel trapped.

It would be so nice to have a Valentine this year, but the men in this area are too macho, drink too much, and think women are only for housework, for adventure, or to show off as a trophy. Yes, that may be in other areas, too, but not as bad as it is here, primarily because the men from this area cannot accept a woman who is more intelligent or more successful than they are.

I limit myself from going to most places, because the people here are very rude and are not very considerate of others, especially the rich people from Mexico who come to live in the United States. Dont they teach them manners in their country? It's a nightmare to have to go shopping. I have had to adjust my shopping time to after 6:30 a.m. mass, because at that time, most of them are hungover or asleep.

Living an hour away from my mother is too close. She is my worst critic and the more I am around her, the more weight I gain. I have been close to death so many times, and everytime, I survived, but I lived far away from family, and it was so much easier to confront my battles without constant criticism from my mother.

Unfortunately, I am not financially able to move at this time, so I signed my rental agreement for one more year. I must save some money and seriously pray for God to help me to find my place in the world or to help me to better my situation where I live.

Last night, I tossed and turned, thinking about how I could save some money. It is not a good thing to look at your bank statement before bed, especially when you know there will be more purchases you have to make. =.) When I woke up, I was determined to leave aol and find a cheaper internet service... and then... Kathi and Kat showed up in my journal. This morning the radio played I Believe in Miracles as I opened aol.. and then, I noticed that my long lost friend, Mary, left a comment in my journal and has returned to journaling! How great is the Lord! 

Even though I have only known you for a little while, I am so grateful that you came back into my journal at just the right time. 

Buenos Amigos (Good Friends)

~ performed by Selena Quintanilla and Alvaro Torres

Cómo ya sé que eres un sueño inalcansable
Me basta y sobra con que sepas cuánto te amo
Mi amada amiga, la más bella
Por quien daría lo que soy
La que me roba a manos llenas el corazón

No es que yo sea indiferente a lo que sientes
Si yo pudiera amarte así yo te amaría
Pero el amor no se improvisa
Nace de pronto así sin más
No es una cosa de poner aquí o allá

Si el sentimiento fuera igual en ti y en mí
Nuestro amor sería de gloria y éxtasis
Pero querer y amar no es lo mismo
Siempre es más grande el amor que el cariño
Y aunque tengamos tantas cosas en común
Puede ser que falle yo o falles tú
Si el sentimiento que nos une no es el mismo
Sigamos siendo mejor buenos amigos

Esperaré un día y otro, lleno de ansias
Hasta que quieras abrigarme dentro de tu alma
Quiero vivir con una ilusión
De que algún día me amarás
No importa el tiempo que te tenga que esperar

Todas las cosas que me dices son tan bellas
Que a veces siento que me estoy enamorando
Pero despierto y me dentengo
Antes de entrar en un error
Pues vale más un buen amigo que un mal amor

Si el sentimiento fuera igual en ti y en mí
Nuestro amor sería de gloria y éxtasis
Pero querer y amar no es lo mismo
Siempre es más grande el amor que el cariño
Y aunque tengamos tantas cosas en común
Puede ser que falle yo o falles tú
Si el sentimiento que nos une no es el mismo
Sigamos siendo mejor buenos amigos

                                 ~ songwriter unknown

Saturday, January 29, 2005

MM Quote

"Nobody ever told me that I was pretty when I was a little girl. All little girls should be told they are pretty, even if they're not."~Marilyn Monroe

Boy, can I relate, Marilyn! If you and I had met, we would have had so much to talk about.

No one ever told me that I was pretty when I was a little girl, and no man has ever told me that I am pretty, either. Women tell me sometimes, but it's not the same to hear those words from a woman. Have men stopped saying those things? When I find a man that tells me that I am pretty, I hope he also sees the beauty within.

Going to try to take another short walk tonight. It would be good to complete those three miles today and I only need to do four more laps to do that!

I am not really trying to diet. I am trying to re-train myself to eat healthier and to include exercise in my day. I made a salad and added cut-up pieces of chicken breast for supper tonight. It was very good.

Marilyn baby picture:

The Gay Beautician

Dont you just love this beautician picture? Check out the woman with the curlers machine! How times have changed...

It did not surprise me that Jaime is one more beautician who looks at me and thinks:  Marilyn Monroe blonde. Because of my job, I am in the public eye. I am not the kind of girl who dresses sloopy or slutty or follows all of the fashion trends. I have my own style, and even though I am outgoing and friendly, my modestly-priced clothes look dressy and sophisticated. I suppose that is why there are so many mistakes in my closet. I try for sporty casual and it just isnt moi, but then, that's another story...

I am flattered that beauticians want to take me from save to spectacular and that they picture me as a Marilyn Monroe.

Venus has been portrayed as the picture of beauty, but if I were the artist, my paintbrush would paint Marilyn. With all this blonde hair, I just wish I had the nerve to cut it as short as hers, but I would need to lose some weight first, and since my hair is naturally curly, I am afraid to go too short, because no one wants to look like Orphan Annie.

 Remember that Marilyn was never thin. Dont be fooled into thinking that you have to be thin to be beautiful. There are many overweight women who are very sexy. ~ Jaime (the Beautician)

Although I have trouble convincing myself thatI am a blonde type, surely, all of these beauticians cant be wrong, especially since none of them knows the other! So I will again, cross my fingers, and hope that it was worth the $50.00 to go completely blonde...Fifty dollars is a big sacrifice for me to spend on my hair. My practical side worries about the upkeep, but knowing what looks best is valuable knowledge all by itself, so the next time I go to pick up a box to do the task myself and/or to retouch, I wont stumble over which color should I choose.

And then it came, the dreaded question all singles hate to hear: How's your love life?!

I admitted to him that after the last romance, I am afraid to get back into the dating scene. He seemed surprised to hear those words out of my mouth.

He encouraged me to go out and added that if I dont find someone who is deserving of me that I should just use them for what the body requires.

My reaction to this was one of total shock... and then I burst out laughing! Would it be possible for someone like me to only use someone for sex?!! How dare he put that question into my mind! LOL

beauty shop image:

rose image:

I know I am secretly hiding behind the weight, because I am afraid to attract the wrong guy. I look at all of the overweight women, men, and children and wonder what their lives are like. Are they happy with themselves or they trapped in a Glass Box like me?!

My friend, Belle, will be receiving her master's degree in May. It's sad that through my example, she returned to school to get her master's degree, but I was the one to quit in the middle of my program. I was surprised to hear her trying to encourage me to go back to get my master's. Unlike Belle, however, I pay for my classes out of my pocket and the drive to the University is a good distance. It got so expensive that I just couldnt afford to continue. I have thought about waiting until I am 65, because at that age, I can take classes for free, but perhaps, I need to give it some more thought...

Anyway, I will be traveling with Belle to her graduation in Houston in May, so I need to lose the weight I have gained back between now and then. If God will just help me to get back into walking, I should be able to do it.

This morning, I went out for a walk and I was able to slowly walk six laps. It isnt much, but it is a start. I hope my body will allow me the right to walk again, because I am not very good at the dieting game. Still, lent is coming up soon, so that will be another incentive to eat less.

Be my strength, Lord. Help my body to do what my brain wants it to do.

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Balance in a Changing World

 Whatever life holds for you, weave the unfailing fabric of God's Word through your heart and mind. It will hold strong, even if the rest of life unravels.


~Gigi Graham Tchividjian



Monday, January 24, 2005

Johnny Carson 1925-2005


The King of Late Night TV passed on to greener pastures at the age of 79 on Sunday, January 23, 2005.


Early Years:
· Born Oct. 23, 1925 in Corning, Iowa
· Grew up in Norfolk, Nebraska
· Served in U.S. Navy 1943-1946

Personal Life:
· Jody Carson Buckley - Married 1949-1963
· Had three sons with Jody Carson; His son Ricky died in 1991 in a road accident
· Joanne Carson - Married 1963- 1972
· Joanna Carson - Married 1972-1985
· Alexis Carson - Married 1987-Present

· Four Emmys for 'The Tonight Show'
· 1987: Inducted in TV Hall of Fame
· 1992: Presidential Medal of Freedom
· 1993: Kennedy Center Honors


Johnny Carson is shown here with a young Jay Leno who has taken over his spot on the Tonight Show, but I doubt that anyone can replace Johnny's boyish charm and charisma. After Johnny left the Tonight Show, no other late night host has been able to keep my attention.

Saturday, January 22, 2005

23 Days


Twenty-three days til Valentine's Day... hardly enough time to get into my red skirt-suit and/or to find a Valentine! Sigh... Surely, I will not be sick forever! My cough is not as bad now, but I am still on antibodics. I need to hurry up and get over this so I can return to my cleansing, get back to drinking milk, and taking vitamins again. As for my thyroid medication, I am not getting as hungry as I did in the beginning. Wonder if I will ever get my thyroid under control, although I did prove to myself last year that I can lose weight in spite of a thyroid problem... What I am most afraid of is not being able to return to walking because of my back problems.

I spent some time in my closet today, paying attention to the clothes I wear the most. Being creative in what I wear has taken a back seat and I am back to wearing mostly black. Was God trying to tell me something when my black shoes and black bag came apart?! Giving up black is as hard as trying to give up sugar, tortillas, or bread, mostly because it is so elegant, so basic, and it is so versatile.

There are too many mistakes in my closet and I dont have clothes to wear for different occasions. Most of my wardrobe is for work and most of my clothes are in winter fabrics.

Living in a tropical climate nine months out of the year, I was shocked to be wearing my beloved Texas A&M sweatshirt, only to catch my elderly neighbor sunbathing on his balcony in tiny white shorts. It would be good to give up black during the spring and summer months. Having two wardrobe capsules would be like having all new clothes in the fall and winter! What a reward! But I also need to get my waistline back to be able to add some fun clothes to my wardrobe.

Winter hides your flaws, but summertime is unforgiving.

Sometimes, I feel like giving up on writing in this journal and starting a handwritten journal instead. God has helped me to inspire so many people, but it would be nice if He sent me someone human to inspire me or at least offer a little support. 

Recently, a woman we used to work with showed up at work. She works out, but she is a lesbian and she looks like a man. I agreed to have dinner with her last Friday, but everybody kept staring at us and smiling as they pointed at us. She is a fun person, but what if she ends up falling for me and what if I end up getting a reputation for being a lesbian even if I am not?! Is it wrong for me to think of these things?!

Sometimes I feel that nobody is reading my journal, and so, I start writing boring stuff instead of focusing on being inspirational. Being inspirational is important to my weight-loss journey success, because I must keep focused,no matter what I am going through... and then, I get an email or people will leave comments in the weirdest places.

So there is the rub: to be or not to be. Ahhh, that is the question... but how can I say goodbye to my journal? Progress or not, I must presevere, no matter how boring these pages have become. Surely, I will not be sick forever. It would be good to get back on track and to be able to get into my own clothes!

Perhaps I need to pay more attention to the Feng Shui in my bedroom. Although I like the placement of my furniture, it seems that I was healthier and my love life was better when my bed faced east. The people from India believe that you should always wake up facing the sun. Perhaps I should change it back... Ughh, that will be a lot of work, and I will need to get rid of one of my shelves which means less storage space, but if it helps to improve my health, it's worth a shot.

As for my money woes, the change in health insurance will save me $20.00 a month (as long as I dont get sick) and my rent will go down $10.00 a month in February, which will help to put $350.00 into my savings this year. I still have some bills and layaways to catch up on, and I will need to update my wardrobe this year, but I hope to put some money into my savings each month.


Friday, January 21, 2005

The Refrigerator

This article was taken from Real Simple Magazine.


Dairy and Staples

Keep tubs on hand, plus bags of baby carrots. The combo is a low-fat, high-protein snack alternative to hunks of cheese or a fistful of cookies.
Hummm.. dont know what this is. Will need to check it out. What IS hummus?! I try to limit my carrot consumption, because carrots turn to sugar, but may try this.

Replace mellow, soft cheeses with sharp, harder ones. A small amount packs lots of flavor, saving you both dollars and fat grams. Look for aged Cheddar and Parmigiano-Reggiano. I got away from buying cheese, because it is hard to only eat one ounce and cheese is mostly fat.

Keep eggs in their carton on a lower shelf to guard against the loss of carbon dioxide and moisture. The shells may look impermeable, but they are covered with tiny holes that can absorb odors and flavors. Been doing this! Yay!

Use real butter where it counts, but sparingly. Keep sticks in a covered dish. (Freeze sticks you're not using.) When it comes to margarine, soft kinds in tubs and those labeled "trans-fat free" are the only healthy butter substitutes. I like the I Cant Believe It's Not Butter spray. It has zero calories and tastes great.

Buy it in resealable cartons. Use it to cook rice, mash potatoes, or saute vegetables for rich flavor without butter or oil. (Add broth to a warm skillet with the vegetables; cover and cook until tender.) Look for low-sodium or organic broth. I like real broth instead of cannned. When I boil chicken, it's mostly to make soup, but sometimes I separate the broth into little baggies and put it in the freezer. It has more flavor than water to add to rice, but will need to consider it also for cooking potatoes and veggies. Great idea!

As with milk, go for low-fat instead of nonfat to enjoy more flavor. You can bake with it or drain it through a coffee filter for yogurt "cheese." I think I eat too much dairy. Sometimes, I will freeze the flavored yogurt and whack at it with my spoon. Takes longer to eat, but it's like a treat.

One percent milk has enough fat for baking but isn't unhealthy to drink. Buy milk in opaque containers to protect it from light, which can reduce the vitamin content. More dairy. I eat too much dairy?! I also like to make sugar-free jello chocolate pudding for that chocolate monster in moi. Wonder how it would taste frozen?! Must try that.

Select juice that is calcium fortified. There's barely any difference in taste, and drinking one glass will give you a third of your recommended daily allowance of calcium. I dont usually buy juice. It has too much sugar. I like to eat the orange instead.

Oils, Water, Produce

Your healthiest bottled-dressing options are vinaigrettes made with olive oil, but if you have a weak spot for creamy dressings you can make them last longer (and eat fewer calories) by thinning them with milk, mild rice vinegar, or herb tea. Tossing a salad with dressing before serving it is the key to using less. I checked out all of the dressings at the supermarket and the lowest in calories is Italian. I prefer the Zesty Italian because it has a kick.

Go for low-fat mayonnaise rather than the low-cholesterol kind. Regular mayo doesn't have a lot of cholesterol to begin with, but it does have a great deal of fat. I try to stay away from mayonaise, but when I do, I buy Miracle Whip light. Have to have that kick!

Keep filtered water or seltzer in the refrigerator and you'll always have a cold, refreshing, healthy drink on hand. (Soda consumption in the United States surpassed milk consumption in 1994 and is still shooting upward.) I try to stay away from sodas, but if I do, I buy the diet lemon-lime to mix in sugar-free jello or the diet root beer to make a black cow. A black cow is made with diet root beer and a scoop of vanilla ice cream... yummm...

Spoon leftovers ? even the take-out kind ? into glass or plastic containers that are microwave-safe. Some take-out trays and yogurt tubs are made from a kind of plastic that can leach chemicals into food at high temperatures. Avoid reheating in plastic containers that aren't designated microwave-safe. Leftovers are a life-saver... I do this. It's great to reach in the freezer instead of taking time to prepare a fresh lunch. Saves a lot of time.

Consider bags of baby spinach and other salad greens a shopping-list staple. For longest shelf life, buy prewashed greens in single-variety bags (the fragile leaves in salad mixes spoil first and can ruin the whole package). Combine them with more economical lettuce, such as iceberg, as needed. I do this too. Iceberg lettuce has little nutritional value, but combining it with baby spinach adds some nutrition and it is more economical. I like to add cilantro to my salads... again, that kick!

Put produce in its place. That generally means either out of the fridge entirely (tomatoes and tropical fruits) or in one of the bottom bins, where the humidity is controlled. When vegetables lose moisture, they get limp and may lose vitamins. Spinach can lose as much as 50 percent of its vitamin C if left out overnight. Yikes! This means I must only buy what fits in the lower bin.

Olive, canola, and sesame oil are your healthiest options. If you have all three, you'll be ready for just about any kind of cooking. All are best kept in the refrigerator, because they oxidize when exposed to heat and light. Oxidized oils taste rancid and may release free radicals, which are linked to many health risks. Chilled oils may become cloudy, but they'll clarify at room temperature. Never thought about keeping oil in the fridge. Will need to try that, esp since a bottle of oil will usually last me for about a year.

The Freezer ~ Warning... I am a freeze-a-holic. I keep everything in the freezer including coffee and chips... although I have given up chips during this journey.

Packaged meals come in sensible portions ? but with sky-high sodium content. (The bulk of the sodium in the U.S. diet comes from prepared foods, not from what we use in cooking or sprinkle on at the table.) With homemade frozen foods, wrap tightly, label, and date. Meals stored in the freezer should be used within three months.

Brown rice, whole-wheat flour, and oatmeal are the best grains to stock, but they should be kept cold. Unlike refined grains (the white ones), whole grains contain the outer bran as well as the inner seed, or germ. The germ contains some fat. And, like cooking oils, that fat can oxidize at room temperature. Humm... never thought of this. I keep cornmeal and flour in the refrigerator, because it keeps out the bugs and it keeps them fresher longer.

When frozen, marshmallows get caramel-chewy and grapes end up tasting like cold gumdrops. Either will give you satisfaction without giving you fat. I usually only buy grapes on New Year's because they have too much sugar but they do taste great frozen. I wonder what marshmallows taste like frozen. Will they taste just as good when you put them into sugar-free hot chocolate?! 

When bananas are too speckled to pack in lunch bags, throw them into the freezer unpeeled. The skins will blacken, but the fruit will stay sweet and ripe inside. Blend one with orange juice, berries, and yogurt (no need for ice) for a breakfast smoothie. Bananas have too much carbohydrates but when I do buy, I do put them into the freezer to put into my shakes.

Freeze an assortment ? peanuts, pistachios, almonds, and walnuts ? all of which are loaded with antioxidants. Don't worry about the fat. Nuts are mostly made up of monounsaturated fats (the good kind). Like oils, nuts need to be kept cold and out of the light to remain fresh. Nuts do have a lot of fat. I like to put them into the refrigerator because they taste better cold, but I am curious to taste them frozen.

A University of Pennsylvania study found that the larger the container, the more careless we are about indulging. Buy ice cream in four-ounce individual servings or pints. This has got to be true! I like to buy the sugar free fudge pops and popsicles during the summer months, but comparing ice creams, vanilla is usually the lowest in calories, so I might buy that~ esp to mix with a black cow or eat in a sugar-free ice cream cone. Yummm..

Here is the healthy, high-protein snack that will break you of the potato-chips-before-dinner habit. Edamame (soybeans in their pods) are the best-tasting tofu alternative. Drop them frozen into boiling water for a few minutes, drain, and salt. Serve warm or chilled (with a separate bowl to collect the discarded pods). Hummm... wonder if Sun Harvest has these. Will need to look for them.

All in all, I'd say, my fridge and cupboards are usually packed with healthy options. What I do with what's in my refrigerator and in my freezer and what I put on my fork are choices that only I can make, though, but only I can be the heroine of my own weight-loss journey.

Thursday, January 20, 2005

Move Mountain, Move!


I assure you that you can say to this mountain, "May God lift you up and throw you into the sea," and your command will be obeyed. All that is required is that you really believe and do not doubt in your heart. Listen to me! You can pray for anything, and if you believe, you will have it. ~ Mark 11:22-24

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

A Lesson of Faith

HEALTH & DIET: My eating habits have really gone haywire these past few days. Could it be because I am finally back on my thyroid medication?! I get so hungry. Still not over my cough. Had to get on another set of antibodics. Did you know that on antibodics, you cannot have milk products, anti-acids, vitamins or diet pills?

My daughter says her family was suffering because of mold in their apartment. They finally fixed my tub and my apartment doesnt smell like it did when the water kept running. Makes me sick to think that I actually drink the water. That may be another culprit. I hate the taste of bottled water. Wish all water tasted like well water except that well water doesnt have enough calcium. I need to start buying bottled water, but I cant carry the five gallon jug up the stairs. Sighhh... Will need to look for a smaller container.

Also need to look into a humidifier or air purifier of some sort.. and as long as I am making a list, I need more trashbags also. LOL..

EXERCISE: Have been doing Tai-Chi every morning for the past five days. Yay! Wont be able to do my exercises today, though, because I lost that time taking out the trash this morning.

When I look at my health and the difficulties in my life, I have to think of Job and all he went through. In spite of everything... he never lost his faith in God.

I must look to God in my times of trouble, for one day, I will not be sick and I will be back on track...


Monday, January 17, 2005

The Price of Freedom


Now, I say to you today, my friends, even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream.

It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream. I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: - "We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal.."

~ Dr. Martin Luther King (1929-1968)



Thursday, January 13, 2005

Nervous Jitters

A local employer saw my application online and invited me to interview. I was nervous about asking my boss for some time off, but he is good about letting me take time off when I need it.

It seemed that there were a number of obstacles in getting to the scheduled appointment to do the testing and to get to the interview, but I survived. The lady who did the testing was wonderful. I was disappointed that I only typed 68 wpm. I missed one word on the spelling test but I dont remember what the word was. LOL.. some word I had never heard of before. I surprised myself at completing the math test in about 5 minutes and I had about 25 mintues left over.

The interview panel consisted of three people, not quite as scary as interviewing before five people, but I cant remember what their names were. Wish they had been as friendly looking as the ones pictured above. =.) I dont know how they took my answers. I would say that I did quite well, but I dont know how they took my perky attitude, because all three of them seemed quite stuffy. I did notice that the man seemed to like it when I mentioned that sometimes we need to conquer our Goliath's. The women were having a hard time keeping up with writing down my answers, but I did get some outloud agreements with the things that I said.

The question will be if they decide to hire me, but these jobs usually take about a month for them to decide. The job pays about what I make now, but it is under the state. A job with the state offers more security than my current job which is funded contract to contract. My current job offers no raises and no opportunities for advancement and I do have to drive further to get to work, but my boss likes that I am smart and he values my work and my opinions. Would I be able to find that at this other job?!

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Profiling Day


People took a break from looking for work in December. Yesterday, they started pouring in. There were so many clients yesterday that I didnt get a chance to make the copies that I will need for today's unemployment profiling sessions.

Our leaders have decided to change our work hours to allow the center to be open from 7:30 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. Doesnt make sense, because the people in the Valley are not in any hurry to find work. Most clients dont pour through our doors until around 11:30 a.m. Very few people who come to the Employment office want to work. Only 40% of the people in this area work and most of those 40% are single women.

Sunday, January 9, 2005

Goals 2005


I havent started out the year very well. The more my mother tells me that I am fat, the more that I eat. I have lived away from my family for most of my iife. Things were so much easier when I lived away from my family.

I am hoping to lose the weight this year, but if not, my main focus is to become healthy, because...

I havent been healthy since I came here. Does that tell me something?!

I need to get rid of the extra things that I dont need and save some money. 


Saturday, January 8, 2005


Funny how in the anglo culture, all the overeating festivities stop at Christmas time, but in the latino culture, we keep looking for more ways to celebrate with food! =.)


I stopped at the Vitamin Shoppe after work yesterday. Pat (salesclerk) and I searched the shelves for a product that I had run out of, but then I noticed a two-pack of Ultimate Cleanse that I had purchased several years ago.


A detoxification is a pretty good idea, but even more so because it is the start of a new year, because of how long I have been sick these past two years, and because it is helpful to remove all the toxins before you start a new diet. It's like a spring cleaning for the body that cleans your internal organs as well as your colon. Ultimate Cleanse contains a bottle of Multi-Herb and a bottle of Multi-Fiber. 

I started my cleansing program last night. You start out with one tablet each until you reach the right dosage that results in 2 to 3 bowel movements daily.


Friday, January 7, 2005


Too hard to do entries in the a.m... must make time to do entries...

Thursday, January 6, 2005

Three Kings Day

Today is Three Kings Day. Cant let today go by without writing an entry! Will be back later



For the dough:
8 1/2 cups flour
8 eggs
1 1/4 cups sugar
1 3/4 cups butter
1/8 teaspoon cinnamon
1.6 oz.(2 3/4 cakes) compressed yeast

For the decorative paste:
1 cup sugar
1 cup butter
1 egg
1 3/4 cups flour

Crumble the yeast cakes into 1/2 cup warm water (about 85º F.) Mix with all other dough ingredients and beat the batter well until smooth and elastic. On a large baking sheet, shape the dough into a ring, resembling a large wreath. Cover the ring with a clean cloth or towel and let it sit in a warm place for two hours.

Meanwhile, preheat the oven to 350º F. If you'd like to hide an infant in the cake, tuck a miniature plastic doll inside. After the rosca has risen, and before putting it in the oven, prepare the decorative paste by creaming the butter and sugar together, beating in the egg and graduallt mixing in the flour. Use this paste to decorate the sweet bread in the form of rays coming out from the center.

Bake until the rosca is golden brown. Decorate with candied fruit. In Mexico, candied cactus, called biznaga, is used.

Sunday, January 2, 2005


Radiant Angel by Edward Tadiello

I am so tired of being sick. It's been hard trying to get things done, because I feel so miserable, but at least I have my voice back. I start to do things and then I have to go lay down, and then, this horrible cough wakes me up at night. I wish the Lord would hurry up and heal me like He healed the woman who touched his cloak.   

Lord, I  am not worthy to receive you. Say but the Word and I shall be healed.

I am excited that the three Kings are on their way to see Jesus. I suppose most people took down their Xmas decorations already. I usually wait until after the three Kings come, which wont be until January 6.

The nativity at church is life-size. The way they arranged all of the characters, however, people are not allowed to get close to the nativity. There were 9 Xmas trees on the altar this year and lots and lots of red poinsettas in gold pots. There are no words to describe how breathtaking the decorations were this year.

After mass, I ran into Father Dougherty. I hate that all of the masses are in Spanish, but when Father Doughterty gives mass, he says a special prayer in English. I asked him about the prayer and I guess other people have asked him about it also, because he had a written copy for me...

May the Lord Jesus Christ be with you that He may defend you; Within you that He may sustain you; Before you that he may lead you; Behind you that He may protect you; Above you that He may bless you; And may the Blessing of Almighty God, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit come down upon you and remain with you forever. Amen.

It was raining when I came out of mass, but it wasnt raining very hard, so I headed towards the church store, because it made me sad that the ox from my nativity is missing. I was hoping to find it at the church store, but I was greatly disappointed that they only had the standing ox. 

Samson was on sale, so I picked him up. Samson was the caravan guide that guided King Baltazar to meet King Gaspar and King Melchoir who were also on their way to see the baby Jesus.

And then, there it was... In the center of the store was the kneeling ox and it was on sale, too! God is so good. He knows I went looking for the ox. It's just like him to put it on sale for me. =.)

On the way from the store, it began raining pretty hard. I got pretty wet walking from the store to my car. When I got home, I had to lay down... again. I have been trying to clean the living areas all day, but I just havent felt like doing anything.

I did do my Yoga abs video, though. I still have trouble with some of the poses, but I completed the whole thing today. Yay. 

I colored my hair darker and I dont like it. I asked God to make it look half decent, because I had to go to church this morning, but I dont like it. I want to go red this year but I'm afraid to do it.

My clothes are fitting so tight. Must try to eat healthy.

Lord, do not allow me to get so comfortable inside the Glass Box that I become afraid to break free.

glass castle

Glass Castle by Peter Ellenshaw

Remove the obstacles that are blocking my will to diet and exercise. Send me the Angel of Courage to guide me towards excellence as I face each new day. Restore my health and be my Strength as we travel through this difficult journey together.                          


Saturday, January 1, 2005


My New Beginning...

Changes for 2005

In 2004, the Woman in the Glass Box was half-way out of the box when my back injury made it too difficult to return to my moonlit walks. In 2005, I find myself back to where I was last January. I am disappointed that I didnt reach my goal in 2004, but I have not given up hope.

There are no failures, only different ways of doing things. I have to try something different...

Yesterday, I made a visit to Barnes and Noble and found The Wisdom of the Chinese Kitchen, a cookbook that has won the IACP Cookbook Award. The book shares some of the family's history and talks about healing. I do not know if I can learn to cook Chinese food like they do, but it is interesting reading and it might help with my health problems.

I also found a book called Dr Shapiro's Picture Perfect Weight Loss. It's a picture book about choices between the same calories or more food. He suggests for us to eat mostly fish, fruit, and veggies, so even though I still have a lot of poultry in my freezer, that is what I will try to do this year.

Although I have back problems, I have to find a way to get my waistline back and sit-ups are a definite no-no. At this physical level, a gym would not be wise, so I have decided to try Yoga for it's health benefits and also to relieve stress, and we all know that stress is one of the reasons why people gain weight. The other two reasons why people gain weight are dehydration and malnutrition. You can eat a lot of food and still be malnourished.

I bought a purple Yoga mat that came with a free Abs Yoga video. Because I do not want to do more injury to my back, I am taking things slowly, but I like this video. Yesterday, I had a hard time with it, but today I was able to complete it. Strengthening theabdominals also helps to achieve better back support, so I have hope that this will be a goodstep for me. 

Some people give up on their dreams, when success could be just around the corner!

Wish I could be like Sonya Thomas, aka "The Black Widow." Sonya is a 105 lb weakling who wins almost every eating contest she enters. She has gained $40,000.00, but her metabolism is so good that she has not gained a single pound! Check out her stats....  

1. Hard-boiled eggs: 65 in 6' 40 seconds.
2. Acme oysters: 432 in 10 minutes.
3. Cheesecake: 11 pounds in 9 minutes.
4. Buffalo wings: 162 (5.09 pounds) in 12 minutes.
5. Baked beans: 8.4 pounds in 2' 47 seconds.