Tuesday, August 31, 2004

Miss America 1995

"Not believing is like telling God that you think that your problem is greater than Jesus. It's like telling God that you do not believe that everything is possible."

                                  Miss America 1989 Heather Whitestone

First Deaf Miss America Crowned 

Heather Whitestone, an orally educated deaf woman from Birmingham, Alabama, wins the coveted crown. She states, "[Speech] worked for me, but it does not work for all deaf children."

Her role model, Helen Keller, stressed the importance of knowing your problems and then working with them, and that is a message she has striven to live by and teach others.

"The doctor said a normal life would not be possible for me, that I would not be able to drive," she said. "I am here to tell you I can drive. I have had no crashes and only one speeding ticket. I passed my driving test on the first try," she said. "My two sisters went in the Air Force. They didn’t pass their driving test the first time."

"The judges (of the pageant) asked me how I handled my handicap, and I said, ‘The same way you handle yours,’ " she recalled, drawing more laughter from the crowd.

Preparing for her dance routine was often frustrating. She had to memorize the song and the steps she would make during each part, so that her timing would be correct even if she couldn’t hear the song well. She said she set small goals that brought her to her big achievement, the complete dance at the pageant.

"The more I practiced the music, I figured out how to do it," she said. "You didn’t know how many times I failed before that. But when I failed, it wasn’t a dead-end street. It’s just saying, ‘Don’t go thatway.’"

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

Celebrating the VENUS in Me...

  Detail from the Birth of Venus Fine Art Print

In 1980, I broke almost every bone in my body. I went into a coma, I died, and I came back to life. I am living proof of the Power of the Mind. If there is any goal that you want to reach, you've got to know that formula and that is:  90% mental and 10% physical. I lost count of the many times I have proved doctors wrong.  The trick is to keep believing and not lose focus of your goal, for the power of the mind does most of the work.

I like to use affirmations and visualizations. For them to work, however, you need to say them every night before you go to bed and every morning before you get out of bed. If you can say them at least three times during the day, that helps, too. But if you have to choose only one time to say them and visualize your goals, plan to do them before you go to bed. I love art. If you have trouble visualizing, you might try a beautiful piece of art. These paintings are of the Birth of Venus by two different artists.

                    La Naissance de Venus (The Birth of Venus) Fine Art Print

                La Naissance de Venus (The Birth of Venus)

                                                          painting by William Bouguereau

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

There is no one in the world exactly like me. I am beautifully and wonderfully made by the hands of my Creator.

My ideal weight is mine by divine right and I reach it easily and effortlessly.

I now bless and glorify my body with God’s love and divine health.

Every part of my body is functioning perfectly as it should.

Negative emotions have no place in my life.

Better food choices are doing incredible things for my body, my mind, and my soul.

God is dissolving every pain in my body, every hurt in my heart, and every emptiness of my soul.

God is illuminating my very being with His infinite love and peace.

I bless my body and I bless everyone I meet with God’s healing love.

I celebrate the Venus in me, the beautiful me in the Glass Box, the Venus within me shall emerge into my reality and become a part of my world.

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

                                          The Birth of Venus (detail) Fine Art Print

Monday, August 23, 2004

Dance Me To The End of Love


                                                                          Painting by Jack Vettriano

Still envisioning myself at the ball... Oh, what a gala event and the big band music was fantastic....

Great dancers are not great because of their technique, they are great because of their passion.
--Martha Graham (1894-1994) US dancer, choreographer

Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live like it's heaven on Earth.
--Mark Twain

Anyone who thinks sunshine is happiness has never danced in the rain. --Unknown

Let your life lightly dance on the edges of Time like dew on the tip of a leaf.
--Rabindranath Tagore (1861-1941)

Sunday, August 22, 2004

am I too late for the J-land Anniversary Ball?

I think the J-land 1st Anniversary Ball was last night. If it was or if it wasnt, these are the details of my participation at the Ball...  =.)

This is the car I arrived in... 1937 Buick Limousine.

This is what I wore. Simple and elegant but the hairstyle makes it look youthful and modern. Looks like I sunbathed for months. =.) My ex used to love it when I did my hair up like this, although now it is blonde with highlights and most of the highlights are natural. LOL...

This is what I won: 


These are some of the people I met there:

Vivian (Queen of Animation), John, Liz, Aynetal3, all of the big award winners, and Oprah (I gave her a hug).  


Saturday, August 21, 2004

Acts of Kindness

 A special thanks to Tracy for this heart-warming story...


One day, a poor boy who was selling goods from door to door to pay his way through school, found he had only one thin dime left, and he was hungry.

He decided he would ask for a meal at the next house. However, he lost his nerve when a lovely young woman opened the door.

Instead of a meal he asked for a drink of water. She thought he looked hungry so brought him a large glass of milk. He drank it slowly, and then asked, How much do I owe you?"

You don't owe me anything," she replied.

"Mother has taught us never to accept pay for a kindness."

He said ... "Then I thank you from my heart."

As Howard Kelly left that house, he not only felt stronger physically, but his faith in God and man was strong also. He had been ready to give up and quit.

Many year's later that same young woman became critically ill. The local doctors were baffled. They finally sent her to the big city, where they called in specialists to study her rare disease.

Dr. Howard Kelly was called in for the consultation. When he heard the name of the town she came from, a strange light filled his eyes. Immediately he rose and went down the hall of the hospital to her room. Dressed in his doctor's gown he went in to see her. He recognized her at once.

He went back to the consultation room determined to do his best to save her life. From that day he gave special attention to her case. After a long struggle, the battle was won.

Dr. Kelly requested the business office to pass the final bill to him for approval. He looked at it, then wrote something on the edge and the bill was sent to her room. She feared to open it, for she was sure it would take the rest of her life to pay for it all. Finally she looked, and something caught her attention on the side of the bill. She read these words ...

"Paid in full with one glass of milk"

(Signed) Dr. Howard Kelly.

Thursday, August 19, 2004

IAN THORPE, Australian OLYMPICS Swimmer

Now here is a good workout incentive pic; don't you think?!!# Wish my printer worked! LOL... This is Ian Thorpe, Australian Olympics swimmer. He could definitely help me to get over my fear of swimming! It's just too bad that I am old enough to be his mommy. teehee... How many situps is that already?! =.)


Tuesday, August 17, 2004

My Journal is placed in AOL HALL OF FAME =.)



Subject: Congratulations on being inducted to the AOL Journals' Hall of Fame Date: 8/17/2004 4:00:27 AM Central Daylight Time

From: Aynetal3 Reply To: To: WINivere2002 CC: BCC: Sent on: Sent from the Internet (Details) Internet Address Card Attached

88. Written by winivere2002 on Saturday, September 27, 2003 at 9:22:00 AM CDT  

Winning my first Oscar?! LOL... Win Goes HOLLYWOOD!!! Who wouldve thought that this 51 year old grandmother would be a part of AOL's 1st Year Journal Anniversary! This is not a good picture of me, but this mural is amazing. It was taken at my doctor's office before he moved to another location. 

First of all, I would like to thank God for this great honor and for His help on this incredible weightloss journey. Thank you, Lord, for helping me to see that no matter what the doctors say, I AM capable of losing weight.. Although I am still facing health problems, I know You will continue to help me through this until my slim self emerges from THE GLASS BOX..  

I would like to thank all the "little people" who have visited my journal since this journal began. To all the people who have left their comments, a bigthank you for your encouraging words have meant a lot. To those who stopped by for only a little while, I have missed your visits, especially Mary. I hope you will come back to journaling.  

 A special thank you goes to my Journal Fairy Godmother, Vivian, aka The Queen of Animation. I am not computer animation saavy and my journal primarily focuses on my weightloss journey anyway, but my friendship with Vivian has provided me with the opportunity to cherish her for the treasure that she is. Someday when she is rich and famous, I hope she will remember me and give Oprah a hug for me. 

To Tracy... I am so happy that my journal has helped you to become inspired to make some life changes of your own. You have come such a long way from the scared little girl I first met. Even though you have difficulty seeing it for yourself, you are stronger than you think and your life has done a full 180 degrees for the better. Be proud of your accomplishments. Dare to think beyond THE BOX of your difficulties. Remember that with God, all things are possible.

My journal does not have many comments, but I like to think that God sends me just the right people who seek to inspire or to be inspired. For all those people whom I have yet to meet, I hope we will become great friends and that you will find just the right words or just the right picture to bring you the life change you need for your own lives.

To AOL, thank you so much for these few minutes of fame and honor, but most of all, thanks so much for the great friendships I have made through journaling. When I meet with Oprah to talk about My Book and she asks me how I got started, I can proudly say that it was through AOL journaling. =.) 

Sunday, August 15, 2004


Lots of people staring at me at church this morning. Am I the only one who dresses up for church anymore? The man in front of me was wearing shorts. The only other people who were dressed up were the elderly couple who took the wine and hosts to the altar. She was wearing some really cute candy apple red shoes that matched her blouse. And I thought to myself, "Oh, that's me when I get old!" She looked adorable.

Made me remember the day I was walking behind an elderly couple downtown. They looked so cute, holding hands and window shopping. They stopped short when they saw a mannequin dressed in a sexy teddy and sheer robe. The elderly man turned to his wife and said, "So what do you think about that? I would really like to see you in that!" And they laughed until they saw my reflection in the window as I walked up behind them. It was as if they had been caught with their hand in the cookie jar. They quickly turned around and looked at me, and then, the woman blushed.

Wonder why people dont give much thought to their appearance anymore... or is it only in this part of Texas? People here go out with the same clothes they wear at home, I guess. It's all about "looking sexy" even though their fat is rolling over in their tight hiphuggers and the cheeks of their buttocks are exposed. I wonder if George Bush has difficulty wondering what to wear in the morning or if his clothes are laid out for him every morning...

          Click to enlarge

Saturday, August 14, 2004


Unlike Tom Hanks or Meg Ryan, it is not my hopes of finding that perfect someone that has left me ::SLEEPLESS:: in Texas. It was one look at my ::ELECTRIC BILL:: and one look at my ::PHONE BILL:: and one look at my ::WATER BILL::! I've been having so many ::MONEY:: problems that I have been seriously considering ::DISCONNECTing:: my telephone and ::ABANDONing:: AOL. My disappointments with my ::HEALTH:: have greatly influenced my weightloss ::FAILURES::, that everyday has become a "START YOUR DIET OVER AGAIN TODAY" day. My greatest ::SHOCK:: of the week, however, is that this ::EVIL:: woman who ::HATEs:: me will be supervising the entire county...

But in between all the bad, God shines His little rays of ::HOPE::, sending me little ::MESSAGES:: of His divine ::LOVE::, and ::PROMISES:: that ::GOOD THINGS ARE COMING::!


The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want.
He makes me to lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside the still waters.
He restores my soul.
He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake.
Yes, though I walk through the valley of the shadow
of death, I will fear no evil: for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies:
You anoint my head with oil; my cup runs over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life:
And I will dwell in the House of the Lord forever.”

~ Psalm 23

Friday, August 13, 2004


There shall no evil befall you, neither shall any plague come near your dwelling. For He shall give His angels charge over you, to keep you in all your ways.” (Psalm 91:10-11) 

       Angel  With Child

I transferred to this center because of an evil woman who is the center manager at the other center. Yesterday, we got the news. She is going to be manager of this center also. You can imagine how devasted we all are, even those who have never worked under her before. Our center manager was demoted to a supervisor...

It was hard to focus on my job yesterday and you can only imagine how I tried to comfort myself with food. If I had not stopped myself, I am sure that I would have eaten the entire contents of my refrigerator. Surprisingly, I went to sleep at about 8:30 p.m. Very unusual. Very unusual.

But something nice happened yesterday, also. I received a phone call from an employer. I have an interview this morning for another job.

Back from interview... Definitely a Friday the 13th! Couldnt find it even though it was right around the corner from where I live! Had some kind of slop on my jacket. My pantihose were too light. Couldnt find my favorite ring and my perfume must have slipped into my drawer at work... Interview was very brief. The gentleman is very young. Cant really say how it went. Personally, I wouldnt hire me, as disorganized as I was this morning, but you never know. It is a supervisor position and pays a bit more money than I am getting now. I have never supervised, but I've had so many bad supervisors that I am sure that I could do a much better job than most of the ones I've had. Leaving it in God's hands.

Thursday, August 12, 2004

Psalm 50:15

 Call upon Me in the day of trouble: I will deliver you, and you shall glorify Me.

(Psalm 50:15)

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

Rewards from heaven...

             Thank you

As I was coming in from lunch, a client walked towards me, holding a beautiful plant. She said that she just wanted to show her appreciation for all that I was able to do for her and that she has found a job! She described how meeting me has changed her life and that I am the nicest person she has met since she moved to this area. The note read that I am a very special person who brings sunshine into the lives of others. Wow! Was I surprised. This kind and generous gesture was a blessing from God and it proved to me that I am doing good work and that my work is appreciated, not so much by the company I work for, but by the clients whom I meet everyday. It was also proof to my boss and to my coworkers, because it didnt come from an admirer; it was from a woman showing her true appreciation for my hard work. It is sad when the people that you work for do not know your worth and do not reward you for the work that you do. It bothers me that I have not received a raise in four years, but my blessings come from the Lord in little, unexpected everyday things. Makes me happy that the Lord is watching out for me and that He sends me people for me to help or encourage, but He also sends other people to show me how much He loves me.

Rewards from heaven... I feel so blessed! Thank you, Lord, for this blessing that You have sent to me. I am truly blessed that You have granted me Your favor on this day. Help me to do great things in Your name and continue to use me to bring blessings to the life of others.

Did pretty good on my fast on Sunday until my mother showed up with Burger King hamburger. When she shows up, she stays overnight and I dont eat good things for breakfast. Monday, I started out with a veggie omelet and had a Mickey D's caesar salad but the dressing had so many calories that I asked for a different dressing,which didnt taste as well. I may have to be like the ladies in the commercials who carry around their own dressing. LOL... NOT.. In spite of messing up at supper time, I am not overeating as much as I was before. So that is a good thing. Have to measure my degree of hunger next time, because I believe the overeating at night is more habit than actual hunger.

Bad news on the workman's comp. They refuse to pay. Disappointed that the two people who have helped me thru all this are not going to be paid. I hope there is something I can do so that they can get paid.

Sunday, August 8, 2004

Dealing with Heart Break...

Remember the Fonz from Happy Days? He had a list of the things he wanted in a woman. I dont remember all of the list, but I do remember the following:

1. High School diploma or equivalency.

2. No mustache.

Funny as it sounds, Fonzi had the right idea. It's bad enough that I am experiencing so much pain in my back and my joints that I am not able to exercise, but if I am sabatoging my diet because of any previous Mr Jerk, I gotta make my lists!

What I dont want in a man:

Acts like a redneck. Acts like a macho man. Looks like a slob. Acts like a slob. Doesnt think. Thinks looking cool is wearing sunglasses indoors, in photographs, and at night. Thinks he's God's gift to women but has no idea what to do with women outside the bedroom. Does drugs, alcohol, and/or smokes. Farts and burps for pleasure and entertainment. Likes to show off.  Has never worked, is not ashamed to be on welfare, and has no shame living off a woman. Eats like a pig and has a big belly. Lies. Has no idea what commitment means. Focuses his world entertaining his friends who are just as clueless as he is. Has no goals or ambitions in life. Is vulgar and uses a lot of profanity, says fuck a lot. Thinks women were created for 5 minutes of pleasure and for free maid service. Never finished high school. Thinks it's sexy to reveal the cleavage in his buttocks. Worships the devil. Thinks killing animals is a sport. Likes to fight. Is into child pornography. Has no problem abusing women and children physically, mentally, sexually, or spiritually.

What I want in a man:

Ability to communicate well with others. Makes me laugh. Is clean-cut and dresses neat enough to be seen with in public. Respects money, makes fairly good money and has a steady income. Intelligent, ability to solve problems. Considerate without being reminded. Faithful and loyal to me, to his family, and to his friends. Has a few good friends who help him up instead of bringing him down. Believes in God and will go to church with me. Makes sure my basic needs are met.Will take time to check my car. Eats fairly healthy and takes care of himself. Picks up after himself and is not afraid of "woman's work." Is individual enough to entertain himself with his hobbies. Is a good fisherman. Supports my individuality and space. Likes to cook and help in the kitchen. Likes to dance with me. Sends me flowers just because. Likes to cuddle on the sofa. Satisfies me in and out of bed. Can be loving and romantic. Ability to apologize and admit he is wrong when he is at fault. Respects me for who I am.

OK... next... Take list number 1/ What I dont want... and burn it. Take list number 2/ What I want in a man... fold it up, put it in a red box, and place it somewhere in my bedroom where I can look at it again when I meet the next potential partner...

Getting back on track. I plan to do a liquid fast today. So far so good. Hope I can make it through the day...

I call upon the strength of God and the strength of my mind and of my spirit. Strength flows through my body. Power flows through my body. It purges and purifies all that is harmful. It fills every cell of my body with radiant health. Strength and beauty shine through me. I honor my body. I shape my body. I nourish my body with good food and good thoughts and stay away from foods where fat and sugar play. My mind and my body are in harmony and I am whole and healthy.

Saturday, August 7, 2004

Sometimes My Body Just Protects Itself!

Continued problems with pains in my back and hip joints. Wonder how much longer until I get past this. It's frustrating because you cannot lose weight by diet alone, and each day that passes finds me gaining more and more weight. Oh, how I miss my walks in the moonlight. Sometimes I rationalize that my body refuses to listen to my brain's efforts to lose weight, because it's rebelling from encountering another Mr Wonderful who will turn out to be yet another Mr Jerk.... Silly, girl! Dont you remember God told you he is coming. If you keep thinking like that, you wont be prepared when Mr Wonderful finally shows up! 


Dont you just love this picture of Marilyn Monroe? Having lived all her life without love, she was just a woman wanting to be loved. Men wanted her for her body, but they never got to know her or to love her for herself. Sounds like my life; doesnt it?! In my opinion, if Marilyn had had a child, I believe that she would have left all of the glamour just to be a mother.

Unusual as it sounds, I never knew love until the birth of my second child. She was so loving and so affectionate and I was her world.  How was I to know that the love I had lived without all of my life would be inside this sweet little girl? Can you imagine getting so caught up in my responsibilities as a single parent only to have this little child tell me to forget about the responsiblities for awhile and just sit down with her and let her hug me?

To have someone love you unconditionally, to have someone love you from the depths of their heart, to have someone give you the very best of themselves, to have someone think of you as their hero and greatest inspiration, that is the greatest love thatthe Lord has allowed me to experience through the love of this sweet angelic child with tiny little hands, sweet little butterfly kisses, and a heart of gold. And now she has an angel of her own. I feel so blessed. I may never know the love of a good man, but I thank the Lord that I know what love is.