Sunday, September 30, 2007



Yesterday, I was standing in line at register 13 at the grocery store. Suddenly, I felt something hit me hard on my lower back from my left side to my right side. A woman was riding a grocery store electric cart in the grocery store and she slammed her cart into me, turning my body with it as she was making a turn. She refused to give me any information about herself. She just kept saying that she was diabetic, etc, etc, and didn't seem to care about hitting me. 

The people at the grocery store tracked her down, but when they took me aside to talk to me, she left the building. They followed her to the parking lot and were able to get some information from her but I doubt if she gave them the correct information. The police were called and they took a report.

I did not take any of the groceries home because there is no way that I could have brought them up the stairs. Makes me sad.

I am hurting so bad. The pain is from the left of my lower back and goes all the way around to my right hip and down to the middle of my thigh. I feel that she probably messed up the herniated disks in my back, but I do not have insurance to see a doctor, so I will do my McKenzie exercises and hope it gets better. 

Also, I have to go see the judge on Monday for the car accident I had earlier this month or there will be a warrant for my arrest.

Please keep me in your prayers.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Body Blues


   When I had a job, I always felt like a wind-up toy that was wound up too tight. I kept doing things very fast, as if someone had pushed the quick forward button on the TV set. But now... I feel as if I am living my life in slow motion... or did someone just hit "pause?" For some unknown  reason,  I catch myself doing things very slowly, now. It is as if I am walking slowly in a dream. This is so unlike me. Suddenly, everything gets me tired.

Something that is also very unusual is that I have broken three glasses within days of each other. Does breaking glass cause bad luck?! Lord knows I have had my share of misfortune in my life lately. I thank God that I haven't broken the glasses while I am washing dishes or cut my hands or my feet from the glass. I can't even remember how long ago it was that I broke a glass while I was washing dishes. I think it was at least 30 years ago.

So... I got up this morning and packed up the broken glass and the vacuum cleaner that died and headed to the garbage dumpster. I was really surprised to see that the dumpster was not packed. These people always pack it to the brim, and there are usually lots of flies and cats jumping in and out of the dumpster. I guess the garbage guy was here yesterday. I have lived here for how many years, and I still do not know when the garbage man comes?! That just goes to show that it is not something that is of priority to me. I don't worry about garbage day. I just take the garbage out, as needed.

    As I walked out into the morning air, I looked up  at the sky and the full moon was big and round in the West, with a soft fog of light around it. It was breath-taking! I wasn't dressed to go for a walk, and I was wearing my chinese shoes instead of tennis shoes, but the moon called out to me for a walk, and so, I did.

How I miss my moonlit walks with God, but the pains in my joints in my body forced me to take a break... too long of a break, if you ask me...  I only walked four laps, but it was nice walk, and a wonderful way to start my day.

   I made this tag animated, but for some reason, it would not upload onto my server, so I added it to this entry non-animated. I think it still looks ok...

As I was returning to my apartment, I couldn't help but notice how the morning dew softly kissed the leaves of grass and other foilage. If you do not wake up early enough to see the dew, you will miss it, because it only appears in the wee hours of the morning, and then, it disappears as if it never was...

I have no idea why I keep dropping things. Sometimes, things just fall all by themselves. It is really strange. Usually, it only happens at home, but lately, it has also been happening wherever I go... at the store... anywhere. It is frustrating, having to bend over to pick up stuff all the time, and sometimes, it is especially hard because of my back problems... Sometimes, I wonder if God is using his sense of humor to get me to do some exercise!

       Wearing shoes has also taken a toll. I have so many shoes, but lately, I cannot wear most of them, because my feet and ankles swell up from water retention. I hate having to wear shoes that are too big for me, but it is hard to find wide shoes that are stylish. Most shoes are not wide enough but if I go a size up, they are too long, so they keep slipping out, even  tennis shoes. What's with that?! Of course, it is hard also hard when you wear one sizein the morning and a different size later in the day.

In my youth, I used to love to wear those high stillettos when I would hit the dance floor. Oh, the memories of beautiful ruched dresses, a black oriental dress with slit sides, a long black skirt worn with a black and white checkered shirt and two black belts, fishnet pantyhose and black patent stilleto pumps! And then, there was my colorful spaghetti strap dress that was featured in one of the dance movies, etc. I didn't have a lot of outfits, but all of them were carefully selected. How I miss all those beautiful dresses, but most of all, I miss looking hot in them! 

   Once upon a time, I ran into a man who swore that he had seen me somewhere...  "You used to do something very athletic," he said. I mentioned that I used to jog at the track and that I used to lift weights. "No, that's not it," he said, and then he surprised me by saying that I used to dance!

It's funny, but I never thought of dancing as athletic. I never was one of those people who would go dancing all the time. I would try to go every Friday or Saturday, but usually, I would only show up two or three times a month, which is good, because that way, my dancing outfits didn't reveal that I really had only a few to choose from!

Dancing today is not what it was then. I don't like the way people dance with their butts in each others faces. To me, it looks really perverted and gross, and the outfits that they wear are not stylish or sexy. They are just plain slutty. There is a big difference between sexy and slutty.

I know people put disco down, but dancing disco was an art, and dressing disco was an art. Not many people could do it.

I was fortunate to find an older anglo gentleman who was a good dancing partner for me. When we danced, people noticed. I always wondered why the latin guys would make remarks that I only dated white guys. It wasn't that I dated white guys. It was that my dancing partner waswhite! If the latin guys could dance, I would have had a latin partner!!

But when Roger wasn't around, I was no stranger to the dance floor! It never ceases to amaze me how the guys kept me on the dance floor. If they were tired when the music stopped, another guy would just jump in to dance with me! Boy, did I get my exercise! 

There was also a black guy who was known as the king of disco in my town. He always wanted me to dance with him professionally. Just think of all the trophies I could have had! That was a mistake not to do it, but I was happy just to dance with him, because he was a terrific dancer. He used to always tell his mother that he couldn't understand why I didn't want to marry him. LOL @ the Tyler Perry in my life... 

I also thought it was funny that this girl used to call me the Dancing Queen. I never paid attention to who was watching me... I just danced. Life should be like that. No matter what life hands us, we should just dance through it...

I thank the Lord that in my youth, I never had a sit-down life. I have so many wonderful and juicy memories. God gave us memories so that we could have roses in December...

I wish my body was more energetic. I wish my body still had all that stamina. I had a body that just wouldn't quit! I thank my body for getting me this far. Yes, my body has been through a lot... all those falls and that car accident when I died and came back to life...

In reality, I should be living my life as a disabled person, but I am grateful that I am not. As much as my body has suffered and continues to torment me from time to time with it's aches and pains, my body is still standing.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007




Today is the ChineseMoonFestival. I had planned to buy some moon cakes to eat today, but I forgot. I will have fish and tea, and I will have a chocolate chip cookie. Oh, my!!! =.)

Today is also my dad's birthday, and Sunday will be the 50thAnniversary of his death. There will be a mass for him on Sunday, and my mother requested for me to be there to join her in carrying the flowers to the altar. People talk. My car is messed up from the wreck, and I am not the size that I used to be. I am embarrassed to go.
My mother gave me very little warning about the mass. It is a shame that when something important like this comes up, I am worried about my weight.
NoteToSelf:When I was slim, I didn't worry about weight. I ate what I wanted in moderation, but exercise was a vital part of my life. It shouldn't matter how long it takes me to lose the weight. What matters is that I lose it. =.)
Today, I applied for a job I really want. I thought I had lost the opportunity to apply for it, but it looks as if they have re-advertised it!!!!!! :::Crossing my fingers for luck:::
NoteToSelf: In Chinese, the character for CRISIS is also the character for OPPORTUNITY..

Friday, September 21, 2007

Dancing With Death

Have you ever had one of those days when you know you were not meant to get out of bed?! Monday was like that for me. Everything kept telling me not to go. My keys hid themselves from me under the chair and it took me a half hour to find them. Something just told me to stay home. I should have listened to my intuition.

But, as luck would have it, they called me to come in to take a test. I thought I was going to be interviewed, but they just made me take the test, fill out an application, and fax my resume and application for the job.

When I finished, I got into my car to drive back to my apartment. I sneezed and tried to step on the brakes but I was already in the middle ongoing traffic. A large vehicle hit my car and there we were, in the middle of the crossroad, as the other cars continued to drive by as if we were not even there. The woman in the vehicle quickly said that she was going "to call the cops" and she got on her cell phone to call them~ and me with no insurance!

I was in shock and I am still in shock, so my words might appear to jumble and tumble. I will try to explain, unsure how accurate the events will be because of the shock...!

Their truck was blocking my car so there was no way that I could have moved. They got out of their car, so I suspect that they were ok. It was my car that is made of plastic, so I doubt that there was any damage to their car. Even after they got out of the way, I just sat there, still in shock. The policeman motioned me to get my car out of the way, so I did, but then, I just sat there in the car, still in shock. The fire department was called and they kept coming around to ask me if I was ok and if I wanted to go to the hospital in the ambulance. I don't know how many people came by my car and asked me if I was ok and how old I was and my address and phone number. I do not like to give my phone number to anyone. Now, my phone number is known by the police department and the fire department. I don't likethat. 

The policeman motioned me to drive the car into the Burger King parking lot ,and then, he left. He did not call the mechanic that I asked him to call and he didn't tell me that he didn't call him. Suddenly, the policeman was gone. The fire department was gone. The ambulance was gone. Just like that, everyone disappeared and they disappeared so quickly. They just came and made a report and left.

I got out of the car to look at the damage on my car. My car is all plastic. If the man had hit me on my door, I would have died.

I walked over to the Burger King to ask if I could use the phone. My mechanic did not answer.  I waited and called back later. He answered and said that he is off on Mondays but he would send the wrecker over to get my car. The wrecker showed up about an hour later.

He looked at my car and took off the plastic part that was blocking the tire. The impact had damaged my car battery. Pedro hooked up my car to the wrecker and drove us to Auto Zone to buy a battery. He said here is one for $49. I told him I was hoping the one that was $44 would be capatable for my car, but the salesclerk pointed to the one that was $42, so I was fine with that!

Pedro put the battery in the car and discovered that the blinkers do not work, so I will have to go to see if they can be repaired. I hope it doesn't cost too much to get my car fixed.

I feel as if I am dancing with death. I have been so close to death so many times, that I lost count a long time ago. I must have more lives than 100 cats.

It has taken me a few days to get over the shock. I feel as if I am in limbo. It is without question that my guardian angel was with me. It is without a doubt that God is not ready for me yet. It is without a doubt that He has a plan for me. I just wish I knew what it is and where it is.

I have tried so hard to hold on to my money. I am on my last roll of toilet paper, which means that it is time to go to the grocery store again. Going to the grocery store is scary, because everything is so expensive. My refrigerator gives new meaning to the word "empty," but tomorrow is Saturday and I try not to spend money on Saturday, so grocery shopping will have to wait until Sunday..

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

We Remember






Sunday, September 9, 2007

Halloween Party Games

It is hard to add these signature boxes to my journal, but this is the Helpful Hints that I sent out to my graphic group today. I am not able to add the pretty backgrounds in here, I usually have to change the font color and size because my journal background is black, and I do not include the group stuff in my journal, but I am excited that my PSP skills are improving. =.) 


Halloween treat bags are optional,

but it is more fun when you can win your Halloween treats!

The "Name Game" (3 x 5 cards, marker, safety pins)
Before the party: On different cards, print neatly the name of a person or character associated with Halloween. (Use a different name on each card.) Make enough cards for more people than you invited so that you do not need to think of what to write later and to ensure you do not have duplicates. 
At the party: Use a safety pin to put one card on each guests' back. Do not tell them who is on the card. Game Objective: To guess who "you"are, the name on your back.
Rules: You can ask only one question of a guest, before moving to another guest to ask a question. Only "Yes" and "No" answers can be given. Laughing, facial expressions, etc, are allowed. Look for questions which will quickly narrow the quest such as: Am I a male(or female)? Am I a real person(versus fictional character)? If a guest guesses too quickly, give them another name tag.
The "Mummy Game" (rolls of toilet paper)
Playing the Game: Guests team up in pairs. One person wraps the other person in toilet paper like a mummy. The first team to get their partner completely wrapped up (using one whole roll of toilet paper) wins. Then, switch partners to start a new challenge.
"Pumpkin Golf" (carved pumpkin w/extra large mouth, toy golf club, toy golf balls)
Object of Game: Hit the golf ball into a pumpkin.
Before the Party: Carve out a pumpkin. Make the mouth extra large. You may want to make a cardboard ramp about one to two feet side from the ground to the bottom of the pumpkin's mouth. You will probably need some support under the cardboard. Tape the ramp to the floor for stability. Mark a starting point a few feet from the start of the ramp. The older the kids, the farther away.
Playing the Game: Each player gets to hit a golf ball three times. Each time the ball goes into the pumpkin, the player wins a piece of candy or other Halloween treat.
Pumpkin Ring Toss: (one to three carved pumpkins, rings that are twice as big around as the pumpkins)
Object of Game: To toss a ring around a pumpkin.
Before the Party: Carve out the pumpkins. You can buy the rings or you can make them. To make the rings, use a piece of leftover electrical cable and tape together with duct tape.
Playing the Game: Measure back several feet, depending on age group. Give the rings to the player. A piece of candy (or two) is awarded for ringing the pumpkin. You can award one piece of candy for a partial ring and two if the ring is completely around.
"Anacrophobia" Fishing Game (plastic spiders, paperclips, wood or plastic poles with string and magnet, paint, tub of water)
Before the Party: To make the fishing poles, attach a magnet to a string and tie the other end to the pole. To prepare the spiders, paint red dots or white dots or orange dots to the backs of the spiders (see rules below for further info about the dots~ you may need to limit the colored dots). When the paint is dry, attach a paper clip to the plastic spiders and put them in a tub of water.
Playing the Game: Each person gets a chance to fish out a spider. The magnet at the end of their fishing pole should be able to pick up a spider because of the paper clip. Make your own rules about the dots on the spiders. For example~ If you get a spider with a white dot, you get to keep the spider. If you get a spider with a red dot, you get a piece of candy. If you get a spider with an orange dot, you get the grand prize.
"Worst Make-Over Ever" Game (bag of makeup, eyelashes, etc)
Playing the Game: Guest partner up. Each team has 5 minutes to work their "magic." The host plays judge and decides who wins. The winning makeover artist then has to let herself/himself be given a make over by all of the other players.
"Apple Bite" Game (several old broom handles, apples, ribbon, super glue)
Before the Party: Tie a ribbon to an apple at the stem. Secure the stem by added super glue to it. Prepare the broom handle by wrapping it in Halloween wrapping paper. Tie the other end of the ribbon to the broom handle so that the apple hangs by a ribbon from the broom handle.
Playing the Game: Guests team up. One person holds the broom with the apple. The other person puts their hands behind their back and tries to eat the apple, using only their teeth. The player that eats the apple first wins.
Another variation: You might have a place where you can hang the apples instead of someone having to hold a broom handle.

I am excited that Halloween is drawing near. I love Halloween. It's time to start thinking about Halloween costume ideas. It would be nice to be a little slimmer by Halloween so I can look good in my costume. (weight loss incentive!!!)

I was surprised that I did not binge yesterday... One day at a time... One meal at a time...

I haven't been able to keep up with my "Eating Plan," because I am watching my money, but I try to keep up with the day's theme, as best I can.

I have some ideas for Halloween tags for my food journal. Making the tags for my Mad Platter journal will be helpful towards my weight-loss journey. Hopefully, I can continue to use this free trial of PSP for awhile longer.

My tags are the result of  trial and error, and sometimes just plain luck, but I love it! I made all the tags on this entry. =.)


I have not found a job yet, but I had a couple of leads last week. Something or someone (was it you, God?!) kept telling me to color my hair, so I got brave and colored my hair red. I was afraid it would turn out orange, but it looks like my natural hair color ~ a light reddish brown ~ and I think it makes me look younger, too! Now, there is a plus!


Monday, September 3, 2007

Knights of Labor =.)

       Love this picture of Norma Jean (Marilyn Monroe), working in an airplane factory. This is where she was discovered by the Blue Book Modeling Agency.

I live in the United States, so I was a little surprised that Labor Day is commonly known as "May Day," because other countries celebrate Labor Day on May 1st. (Oh, so that is where that phrase comes from! LOL @ my failing to pay attention because in my usual line of work, I'd be working today!!)

The roots of Labor Day stretch back to the 1810’s and what was known as the Eight Hour Day movement. This was meant to decrease the hours that labor workers had to work!

Even the Bible says:

"Come to me, all you who labor, and I will give you rest!"

Although most of the world celebrates Labor Day on May 1st, the United States celebrates it on the first Monday of September. Why? Well, the Knights of Labor (a labor union) was founded in secrecy in December 1869, by a group of Philadelphia tailors. They were originally called "The Noble and Holy Order of the Knights of Labor." (Love that name!) The order was designed to protect all people who worked for a living! (Isn't that great?!? It is so crusade, so Winivere!)

Anyway, what happened was that The Knights of Labor organized a parade on September 5, 1882, in New York City. In 1884, they organized a second parade and then it became an annual parade after that. What happened to 1883?!! 

The International Workingmen's Association, many of whom were socialists or anarchists, wanted our Labor Day to fall on May 1, just like the rest of the world, but President Grover Cleveland that changing the date to May 1 might show favor for the Chicago Haymarket riots which occured in May 1886, so they decided to leave the date as the first Monday of September. 

Hooray for Knighthood and the fight for the little people!! Now, if they could only increase our wages!!! It is sad when the average worker has to work an hour to get one gallon of gas to go to work.  =.)


I love these pictures of labor workers from the past. I can especially relate to the picture of the people working in the cotton fields, because that was me!


    I love this picture because it shows the long sacks that we had to fill. Most of the other pictures taken of cotton pickers are usually from the front.

    This is a rare picture also. It is of workers waiting to weigh in their sacks. I loved this part best, because that meant that I could calculate how much money I would get. Yes, at that time, you were paid by the piece, or in this case, by how many pounds of cotton were in your sack, so you never knew how much cotton you could pick in a day. It wasn't just a matter of picking it. It was also about how strong your body was to drag that sack through one row of cotton after another as you bent over to pick that cotton with your hands and put it in your sack. Nowadays, people get paid by the hour, whether they are actually working or if they are taking a break to chat with their coworkers.

It made me sad when people lost their jobs to cotton picking machines, because most people did not have any other skills. Picking cotton was hard labor and it paidvery little, but it taught me what hard work and discipline really is.

I look around at all these people who complain about being in the air condition, slaving over a cash register or over a desk, and I have to laugh. Give them a week at working in the cotton fields in the hot sun, and they will learn to appreciate their jobs.

When I worked my usual 24hour/7days a week jobs, I used to complain, too, but it was because we didn't get the priviledge of getting holidays off.  I had to work on Thanksgiving, Christmas, Labor Day~ most all the holidays. In my line of work, someone always has to be available 24 hours a day. People in regular jobs just don't realize how good they have it.

May the Lord bless all the people who work for a living. May you enjoy the fruits of your labor and may you find rest on this special day.

May the Lord bless all the people who have to work for a living but are without work today (including myself!). May the doors of prosperity open and overflow so that the fruits of your labor can extend to help someone less fortunate than yourself.