Monday, May 31, 2004


This is my fourth entry today. My first entry was for my friend, Vivian, who's birthday is today. My second entry was for John's weekend assignment... running a little late, I know. :::blush::: And my third entry was a tribute to my father on Memorial Day. This entry is for me...

So many stressors at my work and in my private life were taking a toll on my heart that I had to take a break from my weight-loss program and from my weight-loss journal. Not exercising during these past few weeks has added five pounds to my frame, but I am thrilled that it wasnt more than that.

Just dieting is not enough. In order to continue losing weight, I need to exercise and it worries me that I might not be able to continue taking my walks. I wish there were something that could take the pain away.

At first, I was angry at myself for not being a better role model and for remaining on a plateau for so long, but I am sure that there are people out there who suffer from painful joints as I do, and those who dont suffer from pain at all, but still have problems losing weight. A lot of us lose about 5,000 lbs in our lifetime. =.) It is hard when you have to lose the same lbs over and over and you feel like you're right back from where you came from, but the secret is to keep on trying. Dieting is not about losing a lot of weight so that you can eat all you want in one sitting. It is about changing your bad eating habits into good eating habits. It's about changing your attitude about food and about life in general. It's about being healthy and feeling good about yourself. It all starts in the brain. Once you convince your brain that this is what you want, the body will follow, and in turn, other successes in your life will follow as well.

MY VISION:  She lay there, in a bed of gold, dressed in a gown of the finest white silk, the gown gently skimming her small but statuesque frame. A beautiful bold, gold necklace adorned her neck and glittered upon her face. Her long curly locks lay softly upon her shoulders to the middle of her back. And on her head was a large crown, also of gold and jewels that shone of all the colors of the rainbow. As I leaned closer to get a better look of her, I gasped at her breathtaking beauty. Then her body radiated a bright white light, as bright and as splendid as the sun. And I sensed another presence in the room. He lifted her hand and he breathed life into her lifeless body. At that moment, I felt the transformation, his hand lifting mine, his breath restoring my lifeless body with new confidence, power, and strength. 

Memorial Day: A Tribute to My Father

HAPPY MEMORIAL DAYSgt Alfredo delaGarza

Korean War Veteran

United States Army



If money & time were no object... PLACES I WOULD VISIT...







Happy happy birthday to my journal fairy Godmother, Vivian. It is a shame that your birthday falls on a day of mourning. Fabulous idea to take a four day weekend to celebrate it tomorrow instead. What is it like to have four days off? LOL...

Thanks for always being there, Viv. You are a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day. May your birthday turn out as special as you are. Good things have come your way and good things continue to happen to you everyday. I have to admire you for your computer saavy, esp since I have no computer saavy. LOL... May I admire you today?? OK.. I will! Your picture kept getting in my way when I was typing but I learned how to type beside your face!!! How is it that you continue to teach me new things without even trying? ha ha...


Win =.)

Sunday, May 30, 2004

Love these, Erma. Thanks bunches. =.)

Six reasons to avoid the gym !!

Thanks for this info, Angela. I eat a lot of bananas, esp on the go. =.)


1. Containing three natural sugars -- sucrose, fructose and glucose -- combined with fiber, a banana gives an instant, sustained and substantial boost of energy.

2. Research has proven that just two bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous 90-minute workoutThe banana is the number one fruit with the world's leading athletes

3. According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND amongst people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a banana.  This is because bananas contain tryptophan, a type of protein that the body converts into serotonin, known to make you relax, improve your mood and generally make you feel happier.

4. Forget PMS pills -- eat a banana.  The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood.
5. High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of hemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anemia.
6. This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in potassium yet low in salt, making it the perfect fruit to beat blood pressure.  So much so, the US Food and Drug Administration has just allowed the banana industry to make official claims for the fruit's ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure and stroke.
7.  200 students at a Twickenham school were helped through their exams this year by eating bananas at breakfast, break, and lunch in a bid to boost their brain power.  Research has shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making students more alert.
8. High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives.

9. One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a banana milkshake, sweetened with honey.  The banana calms the stomach and, with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system.

10. Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body, so if you suffer from heartburn, try eating a banana for soothing relief.

11. Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness.
12. Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the affected area withthe inside of a banana skin.  Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation.
13. Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous system.
14. Studies at the Institute of Psychology in Austria found pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort food like chocolate and crisps. Looking at 5,000 hospital patients, researchers found the most obese were more likely to be in high-pressure jobs.  The report concluded that, to avoid panic-induced food cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levels by snacking on high carbohydrate foods like bananas every two hours to keep levels steady.
15. The banana is used as the dietary food against intestinal disorders because of its soft texture and smoothness.  It is the only raw fruit that can be eaten without distress in over-chronicler cases. It also neutralizes over-acidity and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach.
16. Many other cultures see bananas as a "cooling" fruit that can lower both the physical and emotional temperature of expectant mothers. In Thailand, for example, pregnant women eat bananas to ensure their baby is born with a cool temperature.

  17. Bananas can help SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) sufferers because they containthe natural mood enhancer, tryptophan.
18. Bananas can also help people trying to give up smoking.
The B6, B12 they contain, as well as the potassium and magnesium found in them, help the body recover from the effects of nicotine withdrawal.
19. Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize the heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain and regulates your body's water balance.  When we are stressed, our metabolic rate rises, thereby reducing our potassium levels.  These can be rebalanced with the help of a high-potassium banana snack.
20. According to research in "The New England Journal of Medicine, "eating bananas as part of a regular diet can cut the risk of death by strokes by as much as 40%."
21. Those keen on natural alternatives swear that if you want to kill off a wart, take a piece of banana skin and place it on the wart, with the yellow side out.  Carefully hold the skin in place with a plaster or surgical tape!

Sunday, May 23, 2004


I would like to take time out to thank everybody for their support. Angela, I am sorry that your comment got accidentally deleted when AOL froze. I hope that you can understand that it was not intentional.

I havent been doing very well with my diet and I havent been physically able to exercise. My life has been under so much stress lately, especially from my daughters, that it has taken a toll on my heart and I havent been up to journaling lately. I hope to be back soon.

Friday, May 21, 2004


I went to McDonald's yesterday to try the adult happy meals. Actually, I just wanted the pedometer. Ended up getting two because the guy at the counter gave me the one he opened up to demonstrate! 

I walked away happy because of the pedometers, but the happy meals are kind of pricey for just a salad and water. I wasnt impressed with the Fiesta Salad, but probably because I know what real Mexican food should taste like and it had a lot of calories for just a salad! I think I would have liked the Caesar Salad a lot better. Eating the happy meals was mostly for the pedometer, but I also did it for research. Seeing what they put into their salads will help to modify my own salads.

I have a dinner date tonight at Red Lobster. Dieting today is going to be pretty hard. I will try to eat light today, but my mouth is watering just thinking about tonight! =.)

Tuesday, May 18, 2004


Thanks so much for your comments, girls. I am so embarrassed that I cant get past this plateau. I dont know why AOL would want to feature my journal now. I guess I will try one last time to take some pictures. If they turn out bad, they turn out bad. I will just pick the best of the bad ones! I dyed my hair again, but I dont like the way it turned out. As bad as the other color looked, people have commented that they liked it better. Oh well.....

As for my plateau, today a woman asked me if I have been able to maintain my weight. She said that most people lose weight, but they gain it all back. I guess she has a strong point there. It does take a lot of work to stay where you're at. But I do get frustrated, because the girls at work are all so skinny or shapely that I feel like I will never get there. I havent been following my diet at all. I guess I should go back to the Herbalife again, because that seemed to be the program that worked for me. Will start up again tomorrow.

Also...I ran into a friend of mine today. He asked me to go away with him for the weekend. I dont know what God was thinking when he made this guy. He has the most incredible butt and the most sensual lips I have ever seen, but being with him would be so sinful, because he is young enough to be my son. Just my luck! Torture! Why are guys my age so ugly, so bald, and so grumpy? Sighhhh... A friend of mine commented that she can see how younger men would hit on me because I look young and I take good care of myself. Coming from her, that comment came as quite a surprise. I might also mention that the maintenance man at the apartments said that he thought I was about 23 years old. Does that mean it would be ok for me to go away for the weekend with that 25 year old?! Oh the torture!... OK... so those were the highlights of my day! =.)

Once again, thanks for your comments, girls. Being on a plateau stinks, especially when you work with skinny girls who dont understand your pain of staying on a weight-loss program! But... I will try to get back on track. Physically, I havent been able to walk for a long time, and that, too, is frustrating, but the least I can do is to get back on my diet.

Sunday, May 16, 2004


When AOL first approached me about wanting to feature my journal, I was excited, but it seems that everytime I write about AOL wanting to feature it, the people I have met along my journey disappear. I cant help but wonder who will disappear this time. Perhaps they feel that I dont deserve it? 

Personally, I am flattered that AOL would even consider featuring my journal, but it would have been better if they had featured it when the progress was phenomenal. And getting someone to take the time to take a half-decent picture of me has been impossible. I cannot begin to tell you how much film I have wasted, because they took my picture so far away that you cant tell who is in the picture, they have chopped off my head, or they have left me out of the picture entirely. Perhaps I should tell AOL to forget about featuring my journal? Would that help me to hold on to whatever "friends" I may have left?

For the past few months, I have remained at a plateau. I keep trying to remain positive and I keep seeking to be inspired, but so much has happened during the past few months, especially with my health, that I cannot possibly see how I will be able to continue to be an inspiration to anyone who is experiencing their own difficulties with weight-loss.

Thursday, May 13, 2004

Don't let anyone talk you out of the magical experience that you can now make for yourself.

Tuesday, May 11, 2004


This is part of the popular Dr Bolio's diets that encourage you to eat to achieve the body you want. I started yesterday. The following diet is for the abdomen and waist. So far, this one makes me feel like I am cheating.

Rising: 5oz flavored yogurt.

Breakfast: 2oz pancake w/2t butter/margarine, 6t syrup, 8oz 2% milk.

Snack: piece of fruit.

Lunch: Sandwich: 2 slices wheat bread, 2oz chicken breast, 1T mayo, 6oz juice.

Snack: piece of fruit.

Supper: 4oz chicken or beef, 1c veggies, 1/2 c rice, 6oz juice.

Before bed: 5oz flavored yogurt.


Monday, May 10, 2004


The image “” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.   John M. Scalzi, AOL Journal Guru, turns 23?? 24?? years old today. Wishing you a life full of blessings. May your birthday be as special as you are, and may your email box always be full.


Win =.)

Sunday, May 9, 2004

John's Weekend Assignment

John's weekend assignment is reveal your most memorable birthday present. He is being selfish, because his birthday is tomorrow. LOL... Way to go John...It's Mother's Day! How are you going to explain that this assignment to your mother?!!!!!!! In my whole lifetime, I have celebrated my birthday about three times, so I guess I top your age of 23 because in reality, I am only 3, but I am built like I am 23!!! haha... Keep on believing... Almost there... almost there... =.)

When I was working for the mentally ill, a client asked me to be a witness for her wedding. I had wedding cake for my birthday. That was an awesome start! My daughter, who was still in high school at the time, saved her money and paid for me to have a manicure and a pedicure at Selena Quintanilla Perez's boutique. It was the first time I ever had a manicure and a pedicure. It was so relaxing and interesting to watch your hands and feet in the wax. And to top it off, they served me a platter of fruit and cheese and a glass of wine... okay several glasses of wine. =.) We also ate lunch at Elmo's and we ate supper at the Boiling Pot and listened to jazz music. She could have spent her money on herself. She chose to spend it on her mommy instead. I love that we are more than mother and daughter. We grew up together and are more like sisters. Makes me happy. =.)  

So John, what are you going to give me for my birthday this year? LOL... My birthday is July 19th. Hope you will come over for cake and kool-aid. =.)

Saturday, May 8, 2004


For Mother's Day, I'm baking a chocolate devil's food cake in heart-shaped pans as we speak.... I plan to frost it with cream cheese frosting and top it with sliced strawberries all over the top. By separting the layers instead of putting them together, I will be able to get two cakes out of one box... one for my mother and one for me. Saves on calories. ha ha.. I bought my mother an orchid corsage to wear to church. I think she will like it and I'm sure she will love the cake, because she doesnt have an oven and she has a really bad sweet tooth. =.) It will be sad not to celebrate Mother's day without my daughters this year. They live too far away.

We celebrated Mother's Day at work on Friday. It was awesome. We all brought something: fajitas, chicken, rice, beans, home-made flour tortillas, pico de gallo, fruit salad in a watermelon basket, and strawberry cake with strawberries. (That's where I got the idea for my cake. LOL... But devil's food is better; right?!!#

It rained pretty hard all day today. I slept most of the day. I guess my body really needed some rest.

I finally got my income tax money in the mail today. It isnt much, but I went to the grocery store to get what I will need to start a different diet on Monday. Actually, I got enough to do two different diets. The diets are for five days. One is for the waist and the other is for the waist and abdomen. I will write about them tomorrow.

For those of you who dont know.. Suzy has been having trouble with her computer lately and Mary has left journaling (only for a little while, I hope).

AOL continues to want to feature my journal, because it is "normal" and because "it shows progress."

To be honest, I havent seen much progress in my journal since I reached my plateau, but I am grateful that I continue to maintain within the same range. I believe that the reason for my plateau is because I felt sad having to watch some of my diet buddies stay behind, because they became discouraged. It is so hard to feel cheerful when your diet buddies drop out of their weight-loss journey, because you get used to them being there and then they're not. It made me feel sodiscouraged that I, too, felt like dropping out of my own journey. If my diet buddies are reading this, I really miss you and wish you would come back to journaling. Losing weight shouldnt be just about losing weight. It should be about changing your lifestyle, staying active, and eating healthy for the rest of your life. 

It takes no self-discipline to become overweight, but it takes a lot of self-discipline to lose weight. When the bible talks about the fruits of the spirit, the first one is love (which includes loving yourself) and the last one is self-discipline, so please dont give up. If you cant come back to journaling at this time, at least come by to visit. This race is not against you and me. It is against the weight. Do not be afraid to go at your own pace. The only one you are in competition with is yourself.

I would love to reach that finish line holding hands with all the people who started this journey with me. When we get there, I would like for all of us to get together and take a picture of all of us, holding hands at a finish line. Wouldnt that be something?! AOL would flip! Start saving your money now so we can meet in the near future and take that picture together! =.)

Remember: it's ok to get off your diet every once in awhile. In fact, that is a healthy thing to do! Just dont forget to get back on your program! Make tomorrow a great day.

Happy Mother's Day, everybody! =.)

Friday, May 7, 2004


What is the Moon Diet???!!!

In response to your question, I will try to explain: As a result of an unhealthy diet, bad digestion, and stress, our bodies have excessive fluids and waste materials that make us gain weight faster. The moon diet is based on the gravity of the moon. The gravity of the moon not only influences the oceans and the rivers, but it also influences body fluids. On this diet, it is important to determine when the moon changes, as the greatest potential for this influence is during the first 24 hours, because it takes 24 hours for the magnetic field of the Earth to change. The Moon Diet is believed to help people lose up to 6.6 lbs within 24 hours and that weight is not supposed to return if you do it correctly. This diet is only for one day, but you have to have a lot of discipline to stay away from solid food for a full 24 hours. Following the Full Moon schedule, you basically fast for 24 hours. You need to drink lots of liquids (water, tea, coffee, fresh fruit juices, clear broths) but no milk, sugar, or salt. Juices cannot have pulp or sugar and they have to be natural. This diet is basically for detoxing the body of excess fluids and toxins, and it is recommended at every full moon. This diet is also recommended when you reach a plateau, but it has to be followed according to the moon phase schedule.

Thursday, May 6, 2004


I surprised myself at being successful in completing the full-moon diet. RESULTS: I did have to urinate quite often, but the scale didnt budge. Still, a fast is always good to detox your body, so perhaps there are benefits that cant be seen.

I didnt apply for the state job after all. I hope I made the right decision.

Tuesday, May 4, 2004


In medieval times, knights sealed a contract with their word, they treated their lady like she was the most special woman on earth, and honor and love were everything. Somewhere along the way, men have lost that. And so I wait until the day that the Lord sends me someone who is strong enough but gentle enough to walk beside me, not someone who is so aggressive and controlling that he walks ahead of me and definitely not someone who is so weak and passive that he walks behind me. Where is the other half of my heart? Does he really exist? I thank the Lord that He continues to take care of my face and that I continue to look young. A prince is nice, but I prefer a knight, someone who fights for principles, for causes, and for the woman he loves. I wonder if he will be a lawyer, law enforcement, or military. LOL... God said someone is coming. I must trust and believe.

This month, the full moon diet started yesterday afternoon and so far so good, but the real test will be if I survive until is afternoon. Will let you know how it goes.

Monday, May 3, 2004


You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.....

1st day. I was busy all day and I stayed until 6pm for a meeting after work, but I wasnt tired when I finished the day. I think that is a good sign. There were no comments in my journal about my decision of whether to stay where I have been transferred or if I should try for the state job. The state job would be at the place where I used to work. I still have a day to think about it.

P.S. Full moon tomorrow @ 3:33 p.m.


Sunday, May 2, 2004


1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which makes hair shine and skin smooth.

2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow.

3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinner.

4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones up just about every muscle in the body. It's more enjoyable than swimming  20 laps, and you don't need special sneakers!

5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being.

6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy!

  7. Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE  EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM.

  8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay,  preventing plaque build-up.

  9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.

10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.

I cannot reveal who sent me this, but you made me blush. LOL =.)

Still having problems with my joints. Only walked 3 miles. We had a beautiful moon tonite. Was it a full moon or was it a new moon? Will need to check the full moon schedule. =.)


I continue to gain a pound here, lose a pound there. Right now is not a good time to focus on my weightloss program. I continue to take my weightloss program one day at a time, and I continue to eat about six times a day, just trying not to cheat too often. That kind of worries me because I would like to be slimmer when my first love shows up in May, but...

Remember that God mentioned a PROMOTION? I do not know if this would be considered a promotion, because a promotion usually indicates more money, which I am not getting, but...

I had been helping out at a satellite center these past few weeks and I applied for a transfer there, not thinking that it would be approved. My request had to go through my immediate supervisor, through the center manager, and through the district manager. I was surprised that it was approved so quickly, but I was not surprised that there was no "Good Luck," no "goodbye," or anything. Shows how much my work was not appreciated. Although there are more people to learn from there, my greatest downfall is that because I know CHOICES, they keep throwing me back into activities that have to do with CHOICES. As long as that center manager is there, I will have no opportunity to be fully-trained in my line of work, and I have no opportunity for advancement, but my main reason for requesting the transfer was because of poor management and the stress that it puts on my heart. It's like my marriage to the father of my children where I couldnt even laugh in my own house. The center is run by women. I wouldnt be surprised if the center manager is related to Adolph Hitler or Simon Legree. Management is run by threats and it is more about jealousy and playing favorites.

My transfer at the satellite center starts on Monday. It is a smaller center, and it is run by men. Everybody at the satellite center is part of the original people that were at the center before the center manager started firing everybody. Everybody there gets along like family, but because they are a small center, they are not fully-trained either. We are starting a new system soon, and Larry and Fernando sound worried about the new changes. I have a feeling that they are expecting for me to know more than I know, and I dont want to let them down. When we start the new system, we will pretty much all be the same. I hope I will be able to adapt quickly and prove to those women what they have lost.

The only thing is that there is an opening at the center for a job with the state. It is at less money but it will have better benefits. If I get that job, I will have to make a choice about leaving the satellite or taking the state job. What do you think?! I wouldnt be under the center manager, but I would have to return to the same center.

Saturday, May 1, 2004


WHAT IS NORMAL?!  A friend of mine writes... Normal to me is just being able to deal with the world without screaming and pulling out my hair! 

Little does she see the great person that she is. Little does she see that she is normal when she is screaming and pulling out her hair!

Last weekend, I took the time to rearrange my room and the art on my walls and I bought some new sage sheets and new silk roses in white, soft pink, and burgundy. My bedspread is ivory with embroidered flowers and crochet and my curtains are lace priscillas. I worked mostly with things I already have but it has made a big difference and I love spending time in my room now. I am glad that something as little as rearranging my bedroom has inspired my friend to clean up her room and put up her cross-stitched blanket!

When you clean up your house, think of cleaning your life of bad habits and rearranging your life til you get the pieces where you want them. The work of your hands is art that should be displayed, not folded in a drawer. It is an expression of your creativity, your individuality, your patience, the "normal" part of you that you think you dont possess. When we were created, we were created with all the tools we would need to make it in this world. Sometimes, we forget that we already have all of these tools inside of us. Sometimes, something as simple as displaying our art and our accomplishments helps to remind us that we are valuable. We are our worst critic. Wouldnt it be great if we could be our best friend?!

When our mental health is not in good shape, our bodies are not in good shape either. Losing weight when you are overweight is a good idea, but it should be a short-term goal, not a long-term goal. Imagine spending your whole life trying to lose weight. How sad to not have goals beyond losing weight, to have but one goal your whole life.

When our mental health is in good shape, our bodies follow, and reaching good self-esteem opens the doors to achieving even greater goals without even thinking! Breaking out of the glass box isnt easy, but the real work doesnt really begin until after I break out of the glass box.

My friend, what has happened to you is that you have forgotten all about the little girl within. Find a special picture of yourself when you were a little girl and put it on your desk as a reminder. Take time to smile at her, to bless her, to nurture her, to make her feel that she is imporant enough to be loved, and to comfort her when she feels that she isnt normal. She is normal and she is beautiful. Allow her to become a part of your adult world.

Win =.)