Monday, November 29, 2004


Let me win, but if I cannot win, let me be brave in the attempt. - Motto of the Special Olympics

  I have survived the Thanksgiving holidays. No weight-loss this week but maintaining my 5-lb weight loss from last week. Yay!

So sorry about yesterday's entry. The bible says you are supposed to honor your mother, but I believe that maintaining a positive attitude is a very important part of weight-loss. Growing up in a household where someone is constantly reminding you that you are and will always be nothing is very hard. It is so much easier to believe her words, but I dont want to.

Just because I am not thin doesnt mean that I am a nobody.

Make today a great day!

Win =.)

Sunday, November 28, 2004

Thanksgiving 2004

The event was at the Sports Coronation when I was six. Mrs. Pickins chose me to represent our class. Surrounded by family members, I wore a sparkly light pink ball gown with a matching shawl. There have been very few times in my life when I have felt beautiful, and this event was one of them. I took this childhood memory and framed it.

When my mother came over last Wednesday, she noticed the picture. She picked it up and immediately said: Oh, this is when my son was a little boy! She held it closer, kissed him, expressed comments of her great love for him and then she hugged the picture and kissed him again. 

My brother is and will forever be the favorite, a fact that I have had to accept since childhood. In December, he will be 50 years old, but mother continues to center her whole life around him. My brother has never married and he never went to college. He does yardwork and trims trees for a living. Mother wants him to quit working so that she can support him and take care of him. I love my brother and I want to see my mother and my brother getting along, but I do hope that I never turn into my mother.

My mother is very focused on the events of my brother's life, no matter how great or how small, but for some reason, the things that have happened to me have not and will probably never register in her brain, another fact that I have learned to accept... My mother knows that I was raped when I was five years old. My mother saw the results of my car accident in 1980. Instead of taking a picture of the horrible affect on my face and my body, my mother took a picture of the half-car that was left as a result of my accident. My mother knows I fell last year and she is aware of the injuries that resulted from the fall. But in her brain, nothing bad has ever happened to me and I should be as healthy and as strong as she is. She is ever so eager to boast about herself, about how hard she works in her yard until she sweats, about how she can go for three days without food. My mother is ever so quick to criticize how fat I am, boasting that at her age, she is able to lose weight so easily and I should be able to do so as well. Today, I commented to her that I hope that she realizes how much God has blessed her, to keep her healthy, and to keep her from experiencing any kind of bodily injury, and that I hope that she will never have to experience that kind of pain. She was quiet for a minute, but then, she quickly changed the subject.

Being with my worst critic for five days bought back so many memories of the role my mother played in my life. Although my mother wasnt in my life very much, her criticism was. The great religious woman she wants the world to see and the mother that I have known are two completly different personalities. Sometimes, I wonder how I ever survived my childhood. I can still remember sitting on the roof as if it were yesterday... crying and asking God to take my life at the age of six. It brought back memories of my teenage years and of how anxious I was to finish school so I could leave home. She continues to see me as rebellious, because I do not play the martyr, because I enjoy having a pretty home, no matter how humble. She wants me to be forever single, and God forbid my ever giving my "virginity" to anyone, for a woman of "my age" is not supposed to have any kind of sexual desires. 

These past few days have made me realize how much criticism I have had to survive in my lifetime. It is no wonder that my mother's words continued to present themselves in my own self-criticism when she wasnt a part of my life. Sometimes, I want to block her out of my life completely. Sometimes, I wonder if she was like that when my father was alive. And yet, no matter how sharp the blades of her criticism cut into my soul, I accept that she is my mother and I continue to choose to forgive her. Sometimes, I rationalize that she tries to cut deeper and deeper, because she realizes that I have proved to her that I dont need her to survive. 

The good part of this vacation is that I was able to spend some time with my children and my grandchildren. My oldest grandaughter wasnt feeling well. She seemed quiet. The youngest was also congested, but she seems like a very happy baby. She was all smiles and was delightful to play with.

The greatest lesson that some people never learn is how nice it is to just enjoy being in each other's company without having to go anywhere or do anything special. I give thanks to God for the many blessings in my children's lives, and I pray the Lord will continue to bless them, always.

As for my diet, I dont plan to weigh myself until tomorrow. Saturday, I ate way too much and today I had liver and onions, rice palif, and squash veggies. I hope I didnt do too bad.

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

             adlernutcrackers.jpg (85003 bytes)

I went into Wal-Mart to get some birdseed and some hair gel, and to get some photo prints made for my children of when they were children. I found a blender with a glass jar that crushes ice for only $18.00, so I bought one for my daughter and put one on layaway for my mother.

It always seems to help when I am myself around sales people. I got a couple of free photo prints that didnt come out exactly right on a sheet that would have cost me the price of what I paid for the frames! The salesgirl looked at me and said: You are such a JOY! =.) 

The young man at the layaway department was very helpful and I joked with him, because a bunch of bicycles were blocking my way and also because his coworker seemed very serious even though she had the cutest dimples. He came around the counter and took out all of the bicycles that someone had placed there and I flirted with him that I would see him in December when I would return to take out my layaway.

Away I went, looking for mistletoe, but instead of finding mistletoe, my eyes were directed at a little girl nutcracker. I had never seen a nutcracker like it, so I went to look at it. There were several of them, so I pulled some from the back to compare them, so that I could get the best one if I decided to buy it. As I started pulling nutcrackers out of the way, I noticed that there were three more familiar faces, but there were only one of each. They were the characters for the Wizard of Oz! The ones above are kind of scary. The ones I found at Wal-Mart are adorable! They were $8.00 each, not bad for one, but to get them all, I would definitely need to go back to layaway!

I blushed all the way back to layaway. The young man was still working at the counter. I just had to come back and see you, I told him and we laughed. I told him that I was on my way outside the store when these nutcrackers caught my eye. He looked at them and exclaimed: Oh, it's the Wizard of Oz!! He had a big smile on his face as he took a closer look at them and then he said that Dorothy and the Tin Man seemed complete. But then he said that the Scarecrow and the Cowardly Lion do not. I suppose I hadnt taken a really good look at them. All I knew is that there several of Dorothy but only one of each of the other characters. The Scarecrow is in good shape but it looks like he was supposed to be carrying something. The Cowardly Lion also looks like he was supposed to be carrying something. The stick on his back is broken, but you cannot tell because he wears a cloak.You would have to take a really good look at them to notice that there is anything wrong with them. And then, you know what the young man did? He charged me $8.00 for Dorothy and $8.00 for the Tin Man, but only $2.00 for the Scarecrow and $2.00 for the Cowardly Lion!

YES!! Instead of putting them on layaway, I purchased them instead. I placed them looking in the four directions in the middle of the dining room table. Oh, so fun!

As I was looking at the internet for similar pictures to put in my journal, it appears that some of these Wizard of Oz nutcrackers sell for about $250.00 each. Wow! I saved $980.00?!!!#  =.) 

Dont you just love it when God shows up and wants to surprise you?! It's as if he wanted me to have them... I think God gets a chuckle at surprising me, because He knows how I am going to react! =.) 

Please note that you will not be seeing me for awhile, because I will be leaving on vacation in the morning. Need to go pack and get everything ready. 

Ciao for now everybody! Happy Thanksgiving to one and all...


  Win =.) 

Monday, November 22, 2004


                  marilyn monroe photo eating chocolate Marilyn Monroe eating CHOCOLATE

BREAKFAST: Herbalife Chocolate Protein Shake. Two cubes of ice. 3 Frozen Strawberries. Sweetener. Also took Herbalife supplements/vitamins.

LUNCH: Winivere's Famous Cure-All Caldo, diet Dr Pepper. Herbalife supplements/vitamin.

SUPPER: Herbalife Chocolate Protein Shake. 4 cubes of Ice. Cinnamon & Nutmeg. Sweetener.





A new study has found a strong link between the amount of sleep people get and their risk of becoming obese. 

Research shows that people who get less than 4 hours of sleep a night are 73% more likely to be obese than those who get 7 - 9 hours of rest.  Those who average 5 hours of sleep have  50% greater risk, and those who get 6 hours have 23% more. 

   Logically, one might think the more hours you're awake, the MORE calories you'd burn, but sleep deprivation lowers leptin, a blood protein that surpresses appetite.  It also raises levels of grehlin, a substance that makes people want to eat. 

Leptin good.  Grehlin bad.  Zzzzzzzzzz...

 ~ painting by Marilyn Monroe

I am of both your directions
Existing more with the cold frost
Strong as a cobweb in the wind
Hanging downward the most
Somehow remaining
those beaded rays have the colours
I've seen in paintings-ah life
they have cheated you

thinner than a cobweb's thread
sheerer than any-

but it did attach itself
and held fast in strong winds
and singed by the leaping hot fires
life-of which at singular times
I am both of your directions-
somehow I remain hanging downward the most
as both of your directions pull me

                                           ~ poetry by Marilyn Monroe


 Lost 5 lbs over the weekend. WAY TO GO, GIRLFRIEND!

Added progress to calendar.

Sunday, November 21, 2004


                  marilyn monroe photo eating chocolate  Marilyn Monroe eating chocolate

BREAKFAST: Herbalife Protein Chocolate Shake, 3 cubes ice. Also took Herbalife supplements/vitamins..

SNACK: Herbalife Protein Chocolate Shake and ice.

LUNCH: Small Steak, 2T steak sauce, Veggie Lover's Salad, Kraft Free Zesty Italian dressing, Iced Tea with Sweetener and Slice of Lime. Ate at the dining room table. Beef is not on my diet plan because it bulks you up, but I had taken it out on Friday, so I had to cook it today.  Surprisingly, the dressing and the steak sauce are low carb.                                                                                  

SUPPER: Herbalife Shake~ Chocolate. Add ice, cinnamon, nutmeg, and 1 packet sweetener. Also took Herbalife supplements/vitamin.

                           TOMORROW'S LUNCH...

Winivere's Famous Cure-All Caldo

        (great soup for winter, but also works wonders for the flu)

6 chicken pieces, skinned, fat removed.

1 large  jalapeno (canned)

3 carrots, peeled, cut at a slant into 1-1/2" pieces

4 potatoes, peeled, cut in half

4 small corn-on-the cob, cut in half

1/2 head cabbage

Rinse chicken. Put chicken and whole jalapeno into large pot. Add water to about 1" from brim of pot. Add salt and pepper. Boil about 30 minutes. Remove chicken from pot.

Add vegetables to pot. Lower heat. Place chicken pieces on top of vegetables. Simmer until vegetables are tender and potatoes can easily be smashed against side of pot with a fork or spoon.




                                                Fortuna ~ painting by ?

Weekend Assignment #35: Tell us something you should be thankful for -- but that you're usually not.

Many people think that prosperity and abundance means to have lots of money, but prosperity and abundance comes in many forms.

You dont have to be rich to have prosperity and abundance in your life. It's how you choose to look at things. It's how you choose to find joy in the little things of your everyday life.

Why would someone wait until Thanksgiving to give thanks once a year when there are so many things to be grateful for every day! I like to give thanks before I go to bed at night, but it's not enough to give thanks only for the good things, for you never know when something good will come from something that you thought was the worst thing that could happen! 

I am blessed with all the wonders of nature, with the song my bird sings when she thinks I'm not listening, with my family and friends, with the joy that my grandaughters bring to all of us as they discover the world for the first time. I am grateful for all the clutter and messiness of abundance in my home, for the amazing way my body works, for moonlit walks and the beauty of a blue moon in the summertime, for the change of seasons, for all the wonderful things that I have taught myself how to do, for the many trips my car allows me to take for work and for pleasure, for indoor plumbing to wash dishes with and to take a refreshing shower or relaxing bath, for a soft bed to sleep like a Princess, for the days when I find a shiny new penny or when I have enough quarters to do a load of laundry, for the days when someone sends me flowers, for my computer that has opened the door to so many friendships, for the many life experiences and life lessons He has taught me that have touched the life of others.

God is wonderful and He loves me so much that He has blessed me with so many things. I am grateful for all the big things, but I choose to be grateful for all the little things, every day. I am truly blessed with prosperity and abundance in my every day life.

                              Click here to return to calendar graphics

                                              Laxmi, Goddess of Fortune

Do What You CAN do...

I am happy to report that I survived yesterday's JUMP START fast. As usual, I do fine during the day but my problem is overeating at night. I was so tempted to eat something last night, but I had a V-8 instead, not on my plan, but only 35 calories, so that wasnt so bad. Just on yesterday alone, I lost 3 lbs. Granted, it was probably mostly water, but nonetheless, it is a 3 lb weight loss. Yay!

For me, overeating at night is not about hunger; it's just a bad habit that I must overcome. I know what it is to be hungry and I havent been there in a very long time! Get over it! Remember that limited income is good for the waistline. =.)

Ask not what your diet can do for you. Ask what YOU can do for your diet. ha! 

I know it is going to be difficult to survive all the wonderful smells of temptation during the holidays, but I can limit what I put on my plate and I can limit what I put into my mouth! A sliver of this and a morsel of that is not going to hurt my diet... If we make tamales, that will definitely be the hardest to survive, but I must focus on what I CAN do, not on what I CANT do..

There are only 40 days left in the year, but that's plenty of time to lose a few pounds! God is trying so hard to take away my sackcloth and clothe me in joy. I love the elegance of black, but I have been stuck in conservative clothing far too long. This is my favorite season for fashion. Time for a little fashion kick!

Wouldnt it be nice to wear red or a beautiful Christmas green in velvet?!

I do so miss my waistline waving at me and the curve of my hip. It will be nice to see my waistline again... I will see what I CAN do in 40 days. DARE to let the Venus in me out of the Glass Box!!! Must presevere!


Saturday, November 20, 2004



Today's weigh-in was definitely a WAKE-UP call. Someway, somehow, I have to do this. If I cheat, I get further and further away from my goal...

As for today's diet, the plan is to JUMP START my diet by drinking only tea and Herbalife shakes today. It is hard to only be on liquids, but I have gained too much weight, and I need to psyche myself up to get myself back on my program. Time to stop rebeling against Herbalife and just do it! 

NO CHEATING, Girlfriend! Stay kewl. You can do this!



OH - MY - GOD!!!

My weightloss program seems to have gone downhill ever since the discovery of my heart problems and the exhilerated pains in my hip joints and in my lower back. I am still in shock over the reading on my bathroom scale this morning, and much too embarrassed to write it down in my journal, but I will write it down on my calendar, so I can measure my progress.


I cannot allow the pains of my body to keep me from reaching my weight loss goals. I have lost weight many times and this time should be no different! The one person I cannot fail is myself!!!

I have to find it in myself to BLOCK OUT THE PAIN so that I can get through this and get back on track... literally.


 Laughing Your Way to Good Health, copyrighted                             

Friday, November 19, 2004



There is a fabulous store downtown that carries beautiful clothing for children. They have poofy dresses and cutest outfits for boys and girls. I was going to drop by tomorrow, but since I got off early from work, I stopped by to look at what they had.

The outfit above doesnt compare to the outfits that I bought for my grandaughters. I bought two of the same outfit, but in different sizes for each grandaughter. The leopard pants are a beautiful print with a tan background. The coat is winter white. It has gold buttons and leopard trim on the collar and cuffs and has a satin flower trim at the neck. The hat is as pictured above except that it is winter white with leopard trimmed brim, and flower trim.Oh so elegant! The coat and hat can also be worn over other outfits, of course. It will be darling to have my grandbabies dressed alike, as if they were sisters, and to have them take a picture together. Yay! So happy that I found something for them... AND... if I wear my black dress with my sexy leopard shoes, a leopard scarf over one shoulder and my leopard pillbox hat, well, I just might look good enough to take a picture with them, too! =.)

Thursday, November 18, 2004

Seeing SPOTS


I survived the training yesterday, although many of us were falling asleep. The ice breaker was to say something that nobody else knows. I shared that I can design a dress and make it on the same day, that I am writing a book, that I used to be into body building and that I can lift 210 lbs. My gorgeous friend Daniel said you should go back to body building. He's right, ya know... so last night I pumped a few free weights.

My friend Leo wanted to go to lunch with me and he wanted to go to Kentucky Fried Chicken, so I had chicken, coleslaw and a diet drink. I know.. I know... bad girl. I need to follow my friend Kat's lead when it comes to being good on my diet. I didnt cook anything for today's lunch, so I will need to buy something for lunch. I think I will go to Subway today.

I see that my friend Kat is following my lead in cleaning her apartment. Although I havent finished cleaning my "living areas," I love how clean everything looks so far and I know the cabinets, coat closet and drawers are all in order.

On my cleaning venture, I discovered the convenience of styrofoam. Drinking from styrofoam cups and eating in styrofoam plates is keeping me from washing so many dishes and my kitchen has stayed clean longer than usual.

My bathroom drawers and cabinets look fabulous as well and I changed the shower curtain liner, too, so just fabulous, dahling! Just fabulous! Oh so happy...

When I arrived from work yesterday, the leopard pumps I ordered through Lerner's arrived via UPS. This pointy style is kind of funny because you have more shoe than toes sticking out, but I love them. They match my leopard tank and my leopard purse and I still have that leopard material that I havent made anything out of yet. I will need to look through my patterns to see if I want to make a leopard skirt or if I want to make a leopard dress. So sexy! They will also work well with just about any color including black, browns, tan, red, purple, and jeans. I can hardly wait to wear my sexy new shoes...



Tuesday, November 16, 2004

As the World Turns...


              The Union of Earth and Water ~painting by Peter Paul Rubens                            

My coworkers know my high production lightens their load, but ever since I began profiling, they have definitely voiced their frustration at the amount of work they now have to do. On Tuesdays, I do two presentations of profiling, which takes all day, including interviewing and data entry into four different programs. Wednesday is the day that the new list of unemployment claims comes out, so on Wednesdays I have to do outreach and send out letters for the next profiling day. After the $7 million dollar cut, there are only three of us who do employment services. Between the three of us, we handle half or a little more than half of the larger centers, so you can understand my coworkers' frustration. Tomorrow I will be in training all day, however, so I wont be doing outreach for next week. 

Little do my coworkers realize how much more occupied I will be after I start the online classes that the company has paid for me to take... no, nothing exciting... just some courses to give me that piece of paper that says that I am a Qualififed Employment Specialist Professional... although I know I already am. =.) I know this because my boss always asks me questions and his boss always asks me questions, so they know I am pretty knowledgeable.

Dont hate me, because I'm beautiful. Hate me, because I'm beautiful and smart. =.) 

Unfortuantely, I havent been able to start the classes, because the program requires a pdf reader and only administration can install it, and so the classes wait... humm... yes... just like the woman in the Glass Box.... reminders, reminders, reminders! Mustnt give up...

One of the women I profiled today sells Herbalife. It's always amazing to me to see people with a high school education ask for so much money. She is asking for$27.00 an hour. And here I sit, with five years of college, staring at my little paycheck with the few pennies raise that I was so happy to finally receive after four years of promises.

As for my diet, I do very well during the day, but I really need to go back to Herbalife. I know it works, but after my bad experience with Mr Wonderful, something inside me just continues to rebel. Get over it, girlfriend! Life goes on... and the world continues to turn..

I think my boss likes the smell of my cooking, because he always seems to pop his head into my cubby during my lunch hour. Today he was pretty brave to ask what I had cooked for him. My boss seems like the kind of man who could easily fall in love through his stomach. I wonder why his wife never packs him a lunch.

My Angel Child called me at work today. I didnt recognize her voice because she sounds so sick. My poor baby needs some pampering from her Angel Mommy. I am so excited and anxious to see my four girls during the Thanksgiving holidays. It seems odd to me that Angel has to work on the day after Thanksgiving, but it will be sweet to spend the day with her little cherub. I dont know if I will see Cecilia and my grandaughter Lexi, though, because CC will be spending the holidays with her in-laws. That makes me kind of sad. 

I know I am kind of rambling... but fret not, for It's just the mad ramblings of someone who's hungry... =.)

Sometimes, I feel nostalgia for the excitement of the work I used to do. I cannot deny that I miss my regular line of work. This is the first job I have ever had that is only 40 hours a week. It's nice to leave work at 5 p.m. and to have weekends off, and it is especially nice to actually be able to plan a mini-holiday with my loved ones.

Sunday, November 14, 2004

The Eyes are the Lamp of the Body


Matthew 6:22-23...

The eyes are like a lamp for the body. If your eyes are sound, your whole body will be full of light; but if your eyes are no good, your body will be in darkness. So if the light in you is darkness, how terribly dark it will be!

Tell me your vision and I will show you your future. Do you see the possibilities or do you see the obstacles?  We produce what we continuously put in front of us. What we see has a tremendous impact on our lives. Keep things in front of you that you want.

What picture is on the canvas of your heart? Dont paint your life with fear, doubt, defeat, mediocrity. Take out your paintbrush of faith, hope, and expectancy. ~ Joel Osteen

If your family is cursed with poor health, if your family is cursed with singlehood, do not accept the same curse for yourself. Remember the hard times in your life when God showed up. Remember the times when God showed up... Put up pictures of yourself being slim, being healthy, playing and laughing. Put up pictures that bring hope, that bring vision, pictures of eagles soaring, pictures that bring good memories. Put up affirmations. Put up scripture on the bathroom mirror. Put up scripture on your refrigerator. Be more than a conquerer. We produce what we continuously put in front of us. What we see has a tremendous impact on our lives. Keep things in front of you that you want...

Envision yourself losing weight. See yourself rising to new levels. See yourself as the conqueror. See yourself as victorious. Allow your eyes to be like a lamp to your body. Allow light to overcome your dark world. Remember the many times that God showed up to save you from this obstacle and that obstacle. Remember the many times He has saved your life. Remember the many times when you could have died, but He chose life for you instead. Remember the many times He has carried you when you felt you just couldnt go on...

Your eyes are the lamp of your body. See yourself the way you want to be.

There is no limit to what God can do for your life. Dare to dream. Dare to believe. Ask and it shall be given unto you. God wants me to be happy. God wants me to be healthy. God wants me to be successful. God wants me to be victorious. 

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined. ~ Henry David Thoreau

Box of Beautiful Treasures


Did a tornado hit my apartment or was it me?!

My goal is to "spring clean" my apartment before the New Year. Unfortunately, I tire so easily that I have to take frequent breaks.

Friday, I took out everything from the coat closet and put different things in there, so everything that was in the coat closet is still in my living room and I took the plastic shoe holder that I had behind my bedroom door and put it behind the coat closet door, so my shoes are scattered on the floor in the bedroom. I have been trying to set up my tree and prepare my home for the holidays, so I have Xmas stuff everywhere, too. And yesterday, I tried to clean the kitchen, so there is still stuff on the counters and on the floor. Ugh! Natural Disaster? No, just moi. =.)        


Hanging Shoe Over The Door OrganizerThe 24 pocket vinyl shoe organizer on the back of the coat closet now holds my tools, lightbulbs, camera, batteries, styrofoam cups, etc. Love it! I put some nails inside the closet to hold my umbrellas. The closet also holds extra blankets and pillows for when guests come over...


It's hard cleaning my kitchen cabinets because this kitchen was made for tall people. I have to constantly get up on a stool to rearrange things and getting on my knees to clean the cabinets below is hard on my knees, but I have rearranged all of my kitchen cabinets and drawers! I cleaned my refrigerator, too, and filled the ice cube trays with fresh water. It is amazing how I found a place for everything in that small little kitchen. Now I want to open all the cabinets and drawers and just stare at them. LOL..                                

I redid the Xmas wreath with mauve victorian roses and gold star garland. I sat my sexy Katherine mermaid in it and hung it over the fireplace. She has long blonde hair and a whimsical face that looks like Cher. The colors in the wreath match the oriental pillow on my rocking chair and also the Christmas tree skirt! Yay... I couldnt find a mermaid like the one on my wreath to put into this entry, but I also have this one. She is so cute, but this one will go on my tree...

I took off the bright red poinsettas from a Xmas spray that I already owned. The flowers are too bright and dont go with the wine and cranberry colors, so I changed the flowers and rested the spray on the mantle, accompanied by candles. Sweet!

I was frustrated because I accidently put the lights on the tree backwards, but after I redid them, I had to step back and just look at my tree. It looks so pretty with nothing but lights on it! But then, I proceeded to pull my Christmas ornament collection from my Xmas box. Most of my ornaments are by Katherine's Collection. They are whimsical mermaids, kissing seahorses, and a kissing frog with his fingers crossed behind his back. But I also have an awesome December Diamonds King Neptune. I couldnt find a picture of him online either. Sighhh... but I do see that they have some new sexy mermen that I might get this year. This kind of collection is expensive, but I have found some bargains on Ebay and I only get a few pieces at a year. 



Oh so fun to open up boxes with beautiful treasures... a reminder of the Venus within the Glass Box... I know! I know! =.)

Last week, I found some organza cranberry red and metallic gold placements and napkins at Pier I. Wow! So beautiful! Wish they had a picture of them online but they dont. I will take some of the gold metallic star garland to hold the napkins together. I already had some cranberry and metallic gold silk poinsettas that I found at the dollar store one year that I liked, but they just didnt go with anything. Because they were only a dollar, I got them anyway. This year, I am glad that I did! They match everything so perfectly and will make a nice centerpiece for the table. Wow! Amazing how all the colors on the wreath, the table skirt, the centerpiece, the placemats and the napkins all match so perfectly! Surely God must have had a hand in this!

I know it takes me a long time to clean my house, but there is nothing wrong with going at my own pace. As I look at all the mess in my apartment, I must give thanks to the Lord for the abundance in my life. The Lord must surely love me to give me so many beautiful treasures. I'm off to make some arroz con pollo, aka chicken with Spanish rice and to finish putting things in order in my living areas...

Tuesday, November 9, 2004


LOL @ pics above. No, no, no... I'm not doing this kind of profiling today! I am doing worker profiles for people who have filed for unemployment, although I did find it interesting that Charles Manson only killed 8 and the Boston Strangler only killed 13. With all that publicity about them, you would have thought they killed more than that!

I have 40 people coming in to see me today. It is my first Profiling Day (new job duty). The people from the office where I used to work were supposed to get a packet together, but I havent received anything yet. Doesnt surprise me. LOL...

I will be doing two presentations today, so I will need to go in early to prepare, pull the Labor Market Information, see what jobs I can announce, make copies of info they will need, and make out a draft about what I need to tell them. May also need to check my English-Spanish dictionary to ensure that I am using the correct Spanish words.

Sunday, November 7, 2004

The Visit

Because my mother lives about a half hour away from where the job fair was last night, I tried to pay her a visit after work, but there was no moon, no stars, and the sky was pitch black. I couldnt find her house! What is that?! So I made a quick U-turn and went to visit with my cousin instead.


OMGG... These girls could be us. Yep, I'm the one on the right. LOL...

My cousin has never married and has no children. She works at the school and the school is her life. She plays guitar and sings in the church choir. Her mother went to heaven a few years before I came to the Valley, but she is the baby in a large family of boys. Her brothers live close by and they have always been there for her whenever she needs anything. Even though many people like her, she has always looked for me to share her feelings of low self-esteem, her loneliness, and her suicidal thoughts.

She came to the door in salt and pepper hair. I wondered to myself if I have I been away that long, but no, it hasnt! Every single room in her house was in such a mess, but she didnt seem to mind one bit.

Like little children, we laughed and caught up on things and then we got serious. She had a "silent heart attack" last year which was a wake up call for attempts at trying to do better with her diet.

Some people live their whole life expressing suicidal thoughts and living their lives of self-destruction, their versions of slow suicide... addictions, overindulgences, self-punishments. When death faces them in the face, however, they realize that they really do not want to die. Counseling with my cousin has been such a hard uphill battle for me, because she focuses so much on what she hasnt got instead of being grateful for all that she is and all that she's got.

My cousin has always been overweight. Food has always been her comfort and she has deliberately eaten her way through her loneliness. This health problem has made her take a serious look at her diet, which really contradicts her slow suicide with food. Being a diabetic never stopped her from eating anything she wanted, but now it seems that she is more conscious of how much she is eating and she has added some healthy foods to  her diet. In between the pizza, the sweet pastries, the taquitos, and the tortillas, she has added some salads, veggies, fruit and nuts. All those times she used to get upset at me for eating healthy! This is incredible. That is such a giant step for her. Yay! 

Although she has never been married, her weight problem has never gotten in the way of her love life. She talked about the last lover in her life...  a man who couldnt keep his mouth shut about their sexual life to her friends. When he dumped her, she told him that he was never going to find anyone else to love him the way she did and that he was always going to remember her. She warned him not to do the same things with his next girlfriend that he did with her in bed because the way he makes love to a woman does not turn women on. She also reminded him that she had to teach him how to please a woman and he still didnt get it right. She must have finally listened to my words, because being a man's doormat has always been her norm.

It took her 49 years, but my childhood friend has finally grown up. =.)             


Friday, November 5, 2004

Setting Up the Tree

Traditional Pre-Lit Holiday Tree

OMGGG... Where did the year go? Last night, I took out the artificial Christmas tree and set it up. Of course, I would rather have a real tree, but I have found that having an artificial Christmas tree really isnt so bad, because the money I save from not getting a live tree, I can invest into Christmas presents. =.)  I am so eager to look at my Christmas ornaments again. I need to decide how I will rearrange the furniture and decorate my living room before I decorate the tree.

It's so hard to believe that it is almost Thanksgiving! Because Christmas falls on a weekend, I will have more time to spend with my family on Thanksgiving than on Christmas, so my plans are to combine the two holidays with my daughters and their families who are the furthest away. At Christmas, I will have my mother and my brother over. So that means a lot of decisions, getting Xmas presents before Thanksgiving, mending what I need to pack for my holiday with my girls (my daughters and my grandaughters).

Thursday, November 4, 2004

Just a Reminder...

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Whoa... This pic is something to think about!

I havent weighed myself, but I would say I have been eating pretty healthy these past few days and so I would give myself a pat on the back for being more cautious and conscious about what I am putting into my mouth. I am not counting carbs, but I am eating from all of the food groups.

I'm always in a rush in the morning and I usually forget to take my vitamin at home, so I keep my vitamins at my desk instead. That's been working out great! Yay.

We get so busy at work that I dont have time to drink water or eat the recommended snacks, though. Will need to take my little cooler to keep my snacks at my desk, I guess.

I hate the taste of bottled water. I found a new product by Crystal Light for individual 16 oz servings that you just add to your water. I think it is kind of expensive, but it's nice for a special treat once in awhile.


I also like to keep a pitcher of cold brew tea in the office refrigerator. I add lemon, ice, and sweetener and it is to die for. 

                     Lipton Cold Brew Tea Bags- Assorted Varieties

Because I rarely have time to take a break, I have to keep my large 16 oz mug filled with something or I would have to do without liquids all day. So I might not be drinking enough water during the day, but I'd say I'm doing better with my fluid intake, except that I do have to make frequent visits to the little girl's room. I try to drink at least 6 glasses of fluid during the day and when I get home I drink at least 4 more glasses, so I'd say I'm doing ok on my fluid intake. Yay.

I have been so exhausted that I havent made the time to go walking this week, though. That worries me. I have to take a walk tonight for sure, even if it is only for 20 minutes. 

We wil have to work this Saturday and next Saturday also. I can only imagine how much more exhausted I will be these next few weeks!

The bad thing about the time change is that the moon wont come out to greet me in the mornings on my way to work. I will miss it.

P.S. YES! I polished my toes last night! Oh, I love it! No wonder Marilyn loved to have her hands and toes painted red. This "Very Vixen" polish is a beautiful red. Just like the glass box on my desk, this is a good reminder that there is a Venus within!

Wednesday, November 3, 2004

A Little Bit of Color

As women, we feel that makeup is important, but oh, how I have neglected my body. That previous entry about Dolly was a wake up call. Looking in the mirror, I see that my face has lost it's glow. OK... getting older? change of seasons? Or just plain neglect?! We can be plump, but what about the little things that prove to ourselves that we are worth taking a little bit of time for... or as Loreal would say: Because you are worth it!

Our grocery store had a facial cleanser that my daughter used to use some years back. It is called Glow Get It  by Freeman, a lathering facial gel cleanser, vitalizing with anti-oxidant- Blueberry & Champagne. I have been using it for two days and I can see that my glow is on it's way back! Yay.

                      Freeman Facial Gel Cleanser, Vitalizing

Surely, there was no time to file my nails at work yesterday. We get so busy at work that there is never time to take a break. So last night, I forced myself to take time to file my nails. I usually like my nails natural or with a french manicure, but last week, I found a red polish by NYC. It is a limited Xmas holiday edition called "Very Vixen". Oh, so Marilyn! Couldnt find the color online to show you, but this is the bottle. I think it sells for about 95 cents.


A woman once told me that she can tell how a person is doing by looking at her hands. If her hands are soft and her nails are nicely trimmed and polished, that means that the woman is doing good in spite of whatever stress she has in her life.

My nails look so pretty! I also bought the NYC Mistletoe Kisses Holiday Lip Gloss Kit in Santa Gloss, a mix of five red lip glosses in a clear little box. I dont know how much they sold for, but NYC cosmetics are pretty cheap. I like to put a clear gloss over my lipsticks and I put it over these as well, because I think that extra gloss makes your lips look more youthful. I especially like the flavored gloss pots, also by NYC. They make your lips so irresistibly kissable! =,) One of my favorite eyeshadow boxes is also by NYC. It is called City Shadows and it comes with three different purple shades, but I would recommend something more neutral to go with the red gloss.


Yep, I have been living my life in black and white too long. Today, it's time for a little color! Today, I am wearing my black skirt suit, but I am wearing my tapestry tank top and my ruby red and gold jewelry. Yay!

A man once told me that the way he knows if a woman takes care of herself is by looking at her feet. He says a woman who takes care of herself will have soft feet, nicely trimmed nails, and they will be polished.

When I get home today, I will paint my toes, too. =.)