Friday, December 23, 2005

No 16


16. I am grateful for my . I am grateful that I have never had a cavity, but I am especially grateful for the skilled surgeon who put my mouth back together and wired my teeth shut so that they wouldnt fall out after a tragic car accident on Good Friday of 1980. 

One of my greatest fears is having to wear false teeth someday. I remember my grandpa pulling his teeth out every time he would eat, because he couldnt train himself to eat with his false teeth. My mother is slim because she is embarassed to eat in public with her false teeth and also because she keeps breaking them if she eats something that is too hard. My ex loved my cooking, but he didnt have any back teeth because he ate too much candy as a child and it was too difficult to eat with only his front teeth.

Eating food is a delightful pleasure to our tastebuds. I want to be slim, but I do not want it to be because it hurts to eat.

Remember, you do not have to brush all of your teeth... only the ones you want to keep... and if you are smart, that means all of them! 

If you see a man without a , give him yours, especially if he is cute, but if you just cant bring yourself to do it, give him my phone number instead. =.)

Sorry for the delay in entries. AOL continues to give me such stupid problems. I wish I could get rid of the ads in my blog. It doesnt surprise me that so many of my AOL friends have left AOL. The ads were the last straw.

I have been and still am seriously sick with no insurance. Today is my first day of rest and I still feel like my throat is packed with pieces of broken glass. I hope it is not pneumonia.

 (Mary, you might want to take this graphic for your journal.)

It was extremely cold the two days I had to be at Ropes training, but I thank the Lord that it is behind me, now. I was dying in that harsh wind for two days. It just made me even more sick than before I went out there. They should have postponed it to a better day.

The store-bought medications have not worked. What seems to be helping are my homemade remedies. Some people believe that onion and garlic are the best medication. Onion is good for your lungs and garlic is a good antibiodic. If I get hungry, I prepare two corn-tortilla tacos with lots of sauteed garlic and lots of onion slices and a handful of shredded mozzarella cheese. At night, I peel a grapefruit and add chopped garlic and honey. My tastebuds are not working very well at this time, but I would say it tastes pretty good. All in all, I have been eating at least one head of garlic per day. That means I will need to go back to the supermarket pretty soon.

I have been having a difficult time with chronic constipation, so sometimes, I will eat a cup of lowfat flavored yogurt after I eat the grapefruit mixture. I am not a doctor, but I would say that the infection has gone down into my stomach as well. I will continue with my home remedies because that seems to be what is working.

The most embarassing part is that I have been coughing so hard that I have not been able to control my bladder. I was so afraid to smell like urine at the Ropes training. I havent used sanitary napkins since 1987, but this time, I used them for a different kind of flow control, and they worked. Always overnight rescued me from three days of embarassment at work.


Today, I will allow my body to receive the nurturing power napping and the pleasure of complete, uninterrupted rest.

Keep smiling and thanks for dropping by. 

Love, Win =.)

P.S. I wish I was more into the holiday spirit, as many of you are. Xmas is but a couple of days away, but you would never know it if you peeked through the keyhole of my apartment door... no tree, no wrapped presents, no red or green, no Xmas music... just a sick ailing little woman with bed hair, a pajama top and socks, wrapped up in a blanket and surrounded by a very messy apartment.

Saturday, December 10, 2005

John Lennon


   "Imagine" mosaic - John Lennon's tribute at Strawberry Fields in Central Park, NYC

  Mosiac tribute to John Lennon @ Strawberry Fields in Central Park, NYC          



                       The Beatles

  The Beatles play @ Tokyo, Japan:  Paul, George, Ringo, and John.

Bronze statue tribute to John Lennon @ Lennon Park in Havana, Cuba

Tuesday, December 6, 2005

No. 15

        John William Waterhouse: Mariana in the South - 1897

"Marina of the South" by John W. Waterhouse, 1842. Here, the artist paints a story: A woman kneels before her mirror, surrounded by old love letters. Her lover sees that her beauty has faded away and he walks out the door and out of her life. 


15. I am grateful for my gift of sight. I am grateful that I can see all of the beautiful things in the world, but I am most grateful that I can see color. I know that I wear too much black, but what would my world be like if everything I looked at was in black and white?! Art is beautiful in black and white, but how much more beautiful is Art when it has color. I need more color in my life. I need more color in my wardrobe! I need to learn how to use color in my Art.

This weekend, I had to renew my eye glasses prescription, because my glasses are hanging on by a screw and they are not repairable. It's funny how whenever I start a new job, it turns out that I need a new pair of glasses. Could there be some sort of meaning behind that? Perhaps that I need to look at the world or the new job with new eyes?!

My cousin works at Wal-Mart in the Vision Dept. I went to see her so that she could help me decide on a new pair of frames, although I had pretty much decided on what I wanted. She liked what I selected, so I will put them on layaway. The glasses will be my Xmas present to myself, although I do not know if I can get them out by Xmas.

Melinda and her sisters are very beautiful. I was surprised that she told me that I was very pretty, because she has never told me that. She liked the color of my hair. Her mother is a beautician and she always does their hair. My hair color is from a box. =.)

I usually dont have much to talk about to family. I hate gossip, so I dont reveal too much to them, especially since my family is usually so critical and judgmental. But I did share with her that I am trying to lose weight. To my surprise, she made an observation:

"Your problem is that you dont have any support to motivate you!"

That's true. It would be nice to have some daily support. She said she would call me, but she has never called me the whole time I have lived in the Valley, so I dont think she will call.

Like Miranda of the South, I stand before the mirror, and I see that time is passing me by. Will I be able to rescue the Woman from the Glass Box or will she be but a memory of what might have been? It would be a shame not to lose this weight before my face and body become too old and wrinkled.

Thanks for stopping by. I am off to do some paperwork for my job. I hope you will be back to visit.

Love, Win =.)

Sunday, December 4, 2005

No. 14

         John William Waterhouse: The Crystal Ball [with the skull] - 1902

Since I am in the process of re-examining my life journey, I thought this painting appropriate. This painting is called "The Crystal Ball." It is by J.W. Waterhouse, one of my favorite artists. When the castle was bought in the early 1950's, the painting came with it, but the owner did not like the skull in the picture, so he had the painting altered by covering up the skull with the curtains. When the painting was up for sale again, the skull was re-discovered through earlier photographs, Xray, and re-analysis. The skull remains protected by varnish under the retouch, but the painting can easily be cleaned up to recover the skull.

GRATEFUL LIST (continued)

14. I am grateful for my creativity, my imagination, and my love of art. I am especially drawn to the Pre-Raphaelite artists, but there are also other artists that I find fascinating. When I was a little girl, I would save my quarter to buy the Little Golden Books that were illustrated by Eloise Wilkin, but I never knew that I could draw until I was discovered by my second grade teacher, Mrs. Magdalena. Up until now, all I knew was how to work hard for a living. I never dreamed of how beautiful having art in your life could be. Mrs. Magdalena put my artistic talent to use by having me draw all of the pictures on the teepee that we had in the center of the classroom. It felt weird not to be playing with the other children in the playground, but I liked bringing the imagination of my drawings to life. This was the first time that I discovered how different my life was compared to some people who didnt have to work hard for a living. Because colored pencils and water colors were inexpensive, it was something that I could afford when I got paid for working in the fields. When I became a teenager, I taught myself how to sew and my creativity and imagination allowed me to have the kind of clothes that only the people with money could have. From the works of my own hand and from the many artprints available today, art was something from the rich that I could have in my own poor, sad little world. It is sad that because I didnt marry well and because of my continued need for survival, I had to put my artistic ability into the Glass Box in 1976. It is sad to discover that I may have associated art as a pastime that only people who have money can indulge in. Like the missing skull in the painting above, I have preserved my artistic ability with varnish, but I know that it continues to be a missing part of my life that needs to resurface.


When the student is ready, the teacher will come.


It would be nice to take time to draw something today. Unfortunately, I have to get the service logs ready to hand them to my boss in the morning, but I have gathered my art supplies together and that is a good start.

Thanks for stopping by.

Love, Win =.)


Friday, December 2, 2005

No. 13

I had to look at my entire Grateful List to think of something to add. Scroll down to #13 to find the one I added today. It is written in purple.

GRATEFUL LIST (Add one more thing daily)

1. Although I am not where I would like to live, I am grateful that I have running water, electricity, and a roof over my head.

2. My job causes me stress, but I am grateful that I am no longer working with idiots who dont know how to treat people like human beings, and I am grateful that I have a job that provides me with benefits and steady income.

3. I do not have a fancy car, but I am grateful that my car is paid for and that I can depend on it to get me to where I need to be.

4. I enjoy spending time by myself, but  I am grateful that I have a telephone and a computer that allow me to reach out to people whenever I want to.


5. Although I have multiple health problems, I am grateful that I still look young and that when people see me, they have no idea how old I am or that I have health problems. Although I am considered obese, I am grateful that I still have admirers and that there are some people who would die to have a body like mine.

6. After all that I have been through, I am grateful that I havent gone insane and that my mind still works.

7. Although they live far away, I am grateful that I have two wonderful children who are blessed with little cherubs of their own.

8. I am grateful for the farmers who plant and harvest food and raise farm animals so that all I have to do is to select whatever I want from the supermarket.

9. I am grateful that I live in the United States, the greatest country in the world... the land of dreams, opportunity, equality, and choices.

10. Although my life has been hard, I am grateful that life has provided me with all the tools that I need to make it in this world. I am grateful that my many gifts, talents, skills, and successes have helped me to help so many people to find their own way. Now it is time to help myself.


11. I am grateful for all of the inventors of the world. It is because of their creativity and imagination that I was able to be successful as a working single mother and student. It is because of their creativity that I was not a slave to my house and that I was able to accomplish the little things so that I could focus on the big things. 

12. In my childhood, people would tell me that I was chubs. Looking at my childhood pictures, I find it hard to believe why they would tell me that (especially my mother), because I was not fat. They just made me believe that I was. By Kate Moss standards, my skinny friends made me look fat. By Marilyn Monroe standards, I was not far from perfection. I am grateful that even when doctors told me that losing weight with a thyroid problem is impossible, I proved them wrong. I am grateful that I know what it is like to be slim and that I know what it is like to feel pretty. I am grateful that I have experienced losing weight many times. I am grateful, because I know that with God's help, I can lose weight again.

13. I am grateful for music, for musicians, and for the radio, for the upbeat music from the radio was the first form of happiness that I can remember. In a troubled world of abuse and neglect, music came to me like a ray of hope, a world that I could get lost in, a world where I could forget my troubles, even if it was for but a little while. I am grateful for the soundtrack of my life, for doowop, rock and roll, the Beatles, Dick Clark, Wolf Man Jack, Donna Summer, and the unforgetable words of Gloria Gaynor: I WILL SURVIVE.  

At first I was afraid. I was petrified. Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side But I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong. I grew strong. I learned how to carry on...and so you're back from outer space. I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face. I should have changed my stupid lock. I should have made you leave your key if I had known for just one second, you'd be back to bother me

Go on now. Go walk out the door. Just turn around now 'cause you're not welcome anymore. Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye? You think I'd crumble. You think I'd lay down and die. Oh no, not I. I will survive as long as I know how to love, I know I will stay alive. I've got all my life to live. I've got all my love to give, and I'll survive. I will survive.

It took all the strength I had not to fall apart, kept trying hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart, and I spent oh so many nights just feeling sorry for myself. I used to cry. Now I hold my head up high.
And you see me, somebody new. I'm not that chained up little person still in love with you and so you felt like dropping in and just expect me to be free. Now I'm saving all my loving for someone who's loving me


Today, I feel as if I lost a day. I didnt do the service logs correctly, so I have homework to do over the weekend.

To relax, tonight, I will do something that is also good for my face. I will give myself a facial.





Tie back your hair and keep it off your face.  Place a warm, wet towel on your face and keep it there for a few minutes.  Remove the towel and wash your face using cleanser that's suitable to your skin type. 

Fill a pot with water. Add herbs suitable to your skin type or a few drops of essential oil. For example, chamomile, fennel seeds and roses are good for dry skin, and rosemary, lavender and peppermint can help oily skin.  Put the pot on the stove and bring the water to a boil. Remove the pot from the heat.  Drape the towel over your head and hold your face over the steam. Steam for 5 or 10 minutes, or whatever is comfortable.  

Put on a mud/clay mask, avoiding the eye area.  Lie down and relax as the mask dries. Cucumber slices over the eyes are cooling.  Rinse your face, making sure to get all traces of the mask off.  

Conclude your facial with toner, then moisturizer.



Though I am grateful for blessings of wealth, it hasnt changed who I am. My feet are still on the ground. I'm just wearing better shoes.  ~ Oprah Winfrey

Love, Win =.)

Thursday, December 1, 2005

Just a Note

Hi. I have a lot of work to turn in to my boss in the morning, so I am running behind in my grateful list, etc. Will add an entry tomorrow.

Love, Win =.)