"Just As I Am"

   

Bridget Jones spent almost a year hating the man who later revealed to her that he liked her "just as she is." Her friends admitted that she cannot cook, but they, too, loved her "just as she is."

It's funny how we want to "just look like everybody else." It's funny how we want the same things "just like everybody else." It's funny how we try so hard to be perfect, but what is perfect anyway, when we contradict ourselves in looking for something extraordinary instead? Yes, it is our imperfections that make us so extraordinary. It is our imperfections that make us unique. It is our imperfections that make us so perfect, so special. 

Right now I have three men who want to get to know me better, one who revealed to me yesterday that he likes me "just as I am." Stupid, stupid girl. I have failed miserably at trying to destroy any evidence of my beauty. I have spent almost a year trying to protect myself from the evils of men, hiding behind the weight, burying myself even deeper within the Glass Box. All I have done to myself is to make myself miserable, because I cannot breathe in my own clothes and seeing myself in a full-length mirror has become too much truth to handle.

Returning my body to it's normal weight ceased to be a priority. Looking back at my relationships cannot stop at my relationships with men. Looking back at my relationships needs to start from birth: the loss of my father, constant criticism from a hateful (jealous?) mother, men who disgraced my honor and failed to see my worth. All of these reasons for my own self-destruction are not good enough.

Take up your sword of power and dare to fight for yourself, Win. If you have helped countless numbers of people, why cant you see that you, too, are worth saving?! You are a child of the King. Stop being something that you were never meant to be: overweight, obese, fat, caloricly challenged. Just because you've had your share of evil mothers, evil men, and evil "friends" who have broken your dreams does not mean that you must allowthem to destroy your spirit. 

There is something very magical within yourself. Do not be afraid to allow your light to shine. Dare to find inspiration from your own life. Dare to find inspiration from your own successes.