Midnight Kisses

A special thanks goes out to my new graphic group. I am an open page, ready to learn from your spectacularly wonderful talents. Thank you so much for accepting me into your talented realm.   Happy New Year, J-Land!!!     XOXOX,   Winivere   To Join the Derasta Creation Group, click here: http://journals.aol.com/derasta/aderastacreation/entries/2006/12/20/a-derasta-creations-sharing-group/1507

 

New Year's Eve

 

Don't you just love New Year's? I love New Year's. It's another chance to start over.   ~from Forrest Gump movie   Every year at this time, we all ask the same thing:   Where did the year go?!   Time goes by so fast. Before we know it, another year is behind us, and we feel bad because we didn't get to do the things we said we were going to do.   So you can feel bad if you want to... or like "Long Legs Lenora" and her friend, rejoice and celebrate another opportunity to start over.   You are never a failure until you stop trying.   This year, might be the year that is different. This year might be the year that you amaze yourself and look back at 2007 thinking:   How did I do that?!#       Winivere ~ The Woman in The Glass Box.

Best-Worst of 2006

    

When I began writing The Glass Box, I did not know a thing about colors, inserting pictures, or anything. I still marvel at how beautiful some journals are. I wish The Glass Box had received more of that. It is three years in the making already, so to go back and correct the problems would take way too much time and effort. That makes me feel a little sad, because The Glass Box is a very important part of my life.

 

The worst experience  for me was in 2004, when a couple of AOL readers told me that I didn't deserve to be recognized by AOL.  That sliced my heart like a knife, because I had almost lost all of the weight that I wanted to lose. That setback brought back the pounds and it has been extremely hard to get back on track. I wish I had never listened to their remarks, and I wish I had never turned AOL down when they tried to recognize The Glass Box.  I know my journal wasn't fancy with graphics and such, but I was losing the weight and I was so focused on my weight loss goals. I hope that I can find that drive again. I do not know if those two women take a peek at my journal every now and then. All I know is that they stopped leaving comments when they found out.

 

The WORST of 2006:

1. I was stuck at a school where the principal was easily influenced by the social worker. The principal did not allow me to do anything for the students.

2. The secretary that we had didn't like me. She turned the other workers against me, so they never wanted to help me to learn my job and they were not very friendly towards me.

3. I am still stuck in the mishaps for 2004 and the words of my critical mother. I just haven't been inspired to lose the weight.

4. My health continues to be bad. My injuries are still painful, and to top it off, I fell again this year.

5. One of my goals was to get organized. I started out on the right foot, but then, it didn't happen. I suppose it was because of all the stress at my job, but then when I was transferred to another school, I fell for the second time, so that project continued on hold.

6. As for my love life, I never followed through. I didn't bother to contact Noe until December when I went to pick up some citrus. I lost track of the Seafood guy because I didn't follow up on time. He went on to another job. It's embarrassing that I don't even remember his name. Then, I met Tony and failed to call him back. James showed up after seven years, but I haven't bothered to make contact with him, either.

 

The BEST of 2006:

1. I was transferred to another school. The principal is a hard person, too, but I have been able to do more for the kids than I was allowed to do at the other school. 

2. An ex-colleague of mine was hired by our agency in September. Because of our previous friendship, some of my co-workers have noticed that I am a good person and that she always looks for me at our meetings, so some of them have begun to see me in a new light. Of course, there are some who will never change, but our friendship has opened up some doors for me.

 

It disappoints me that I was not able to accomplish as much as I would have liked in 2006, but I thank the Lord that I am no longer at my previous job. I am blessed.

 

 

In my quest to get organized in 2007 and gain a little control over my life, I have started a new journal: The Feng-Shui Amateur. I love the new colors in my new journal. I read that an extra bonusof Feng-Shui is that it will also help me tolose weight. That would be awesome; don'tcha think?!

 

XOXO,

Winivere =.)

Pass It Along

 Wow! Looks like everybody has been answering this forward I sent out and put their answers in their journal. What a great response! I think I will do the same...

 

Welcome to the new edition of getting to know your friends. Okay here's what you're supposed to do, and try not to be lame and spoil the fun!  Just copy (do not forward) this entire e-mail and paste into a new e-mail that you can send.  Change all the answers so that they apply to you.  Then send this to a whole bunch of people you know, INCLUDING the person that sent it to you.  Some of you may get this several times that means you have lots of friends.

 

1. What is your occupation?  Youth Leadership-Life Coach

2. What color are your socks right now? navy blue booties

3. What are you listening to right now?   my cockatiel making noises in her birdcage.

4. What was the last thing that you ate?  turkey taco w/Mexican cheese

5. Can you drive a stick shift?   It's been a long time, since I did that, but boy, did that feel like driving!

6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Wings of Love

7. Last person you spoke to on the phone?  my Angel and her cherub Isabella Victoria

8. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Yes. Still waiting on that Christmas card you promised. LOL

9. Favorite drink:  non-alcoholic: Iced Mocha with whip cream, chocolate chips, cinnamon and nutmeg/ alcoholic: Margarita on the Rocks, no salt...

10. What is your favorite sport to watch?   Ballroom Dancing and figure skating.

11. Have you ever dyed your hair? Yes. It takes work to look this good. teehee

12. Favorite curse word?  Dang!

13. Any Pets?   African Grey cockatiel and a peacock blue Beta
14. Favorite food?  Avocado... also Seafood

15. What was the last movie you watched?   The Black Dahlia

16. Favorite day of the year?  Valentine's Day

17. What do you do to vent anger? It takes a lot to make me angry but when it happens it is best to evaluate if it is pain, fear, or embarrassment.  Is it worth my time to pursue it or am I wasting my time on someone who is too ignorant to understand the values of respect?!

18. What was your favorite toy as a child? I only had one toy as a child. It was a stuffed doll that was very cuddly. Her name was Teresa.

19. What is your favorite Fall or Spring?  I like the pretty colors of Fall and I like the cooler weather because that is the only time of year I can wear scarves, gloves, hats and pretty fabrics. Unfortunately, you never know if we will have a cool fall or a cool spring becauseit is always HOT here.

20. Cherry or Blueberry? I like them both... depends on who's mouth you are putting them into or in what foods you are mixing them with.

21.  Do you want your friends to email you back?  Duh

22.  Who is most likely to respond?  I have no idea. Probably Beth 

23. Who is least likely to respond?  Good question. Let's see, shall we?

24. Living arrangements?  Single. One bedroom flat.

25. When was the last time you cried?  On Christmas Day, when I was watching the train wreck episode of Grey's Anatomy. Derek had to tell the girl's fiance the message that the girl wanted him to know before she died:  If it was only about love, I would be with you today. Afterwards, Derek was crying in the elevator and Bailey stopped the elevator until Derek composed himself.

26. What is on the floor of your closet?  Boxes.

27.   Who is the friend that you've had the longest, that you are sending this to?  (((Viv)))

28. What did you do last night?  read a book

29.  Favorite Smells?  The smell of the ocean always makes me feel as if I am at home. I also like the smell of rain as it falls upon the earth and the delicious smells of something baking in the oven. The smell of soap on a well made man right out of the shower is pretty good, too.

30. What inspires you?  art, music, my work, an unexpected ThankYou.

31. What are you afraid of?  allowing myself to remain caged within the walls of glass

32. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers?  Whataburger with mayonnaise on one side, mustard on the other, grilled onions, extra veggies, and toast the buns.

33. Country you would most like to visit? Egypt and Italy

34 Favorite dog breed?   Cockapoo

35. Number of keys on your key ring? Which key ring?!

36. How many years at your current job?  I have worked hard all of my life, but I have only been at my current job for a year.

37. Favorite day of the week? Wednesday, because it is right in the middle.

38. How many states have you lived in?  Three: Texas, North Dakota, Louisiana

39. Favorite holiday? Halloween. I love to dress up and I love to see how creative some people can get. 

40. Ever driven a Motorcycle or heavy machinery?  No. I rode in a motorcycle once but it messed up my hair and bugs attacked my face. It was not fun. My date apologized, because he remembered how great I looked before the ride. LMAO

41. Favorite Must See TV Show?  Grey's Anatomy 

God Answers Prayers

God saw you hungry & created McDonald's, Wendy's, and Burger King.

 

God saw you thirsty & created Coke, Juice, and Water.

 

God saw you in the dark & created Light.

 

God saw you without a Good Looking, Adorable, Brilliant FRIEND...  

 

so He created ME!!!

     
SMILE~~ and have a GREAT DAY!!

Pass this along to your good friends who are so lucky to have you for a friend, also!!!!

Christmas @ TheGlassBox

CHRISTMAS GIFTS...

At work, I received an inexpensive Body  Slash and Lip Gloss from my friend, Laura. She bought nice things for other people, and she felt bad about buying me such a cheap gift, but the fact that she thought enough about me to get me something was totally unexpected. I loved the Body Splash so much, that I had to go out and get the full-sized bottle. It is called Sugar Apple Fantasy, and it smells as if it is something from Bath and Body works.

My Angel said that she is making me something, but I haven't received it yet, because she hasn't finished it. I wonder what it is.

I haven't been able to keep up with Season Three of Grey's Anatomy, because they moved it to Thursday, so I broke down my "It's too expensive" thoughts and bought the Second Season of Grey's Anatomy. It comes with five discs, and so far, I have only watched two. That's lots of hours of viewing, so if you think it is not worth the $50, believe me~ it is worth the price!

As I have previously said, I usually don't expect to get gifts at Christmas, so this year, I would have to say that I made out like a bandit. LOL

CHRISTMAS DINNER...

It hasn't felt like Christmas, because I live in tropical weather. Everyday has been HOT, but Christmas weekend brought some cold temperatures. I love snuggly weather, even if it is just snuggling by myself! =.)

On Christmas Day, I decided to bake the turkey to keep the house warm, but I have been feeling so sick ~ congested, coughing~ that I hadn't gone to the store. I didn't have any bread to prepare the cornbread stuffing, and I didn't have enough margarine or milk to make some mashed potatoes, and I ran out of rice, also, so I had no idea what I was going to make for dinner. I did have some Valley Ruby Red Grapefruit and Oranges that my friend Noe gave me earlier this month, so I dissected the grapefruit and oranges and added a can of tropical fruit. The top of the oven wasn't working, so I didn't bother to make a cake or a pie. Parts of me are still wanting something sweet!!!

It is a good thing that my mother and brother didn't show up for Christmas, because I didn't have a full meal prepared. Perhaps it was a blessing from God that they didn't show up, because I wasn't looking forward to my mother's negativity on Christmas Day.

I didn't do much on Christmas Day, except put the ornaments on my tree, cook the turkey, watch Grey's Anatomy, and wrap my mother's and my brother's gifts. My J-Land friend was shocked that I hadn't put the ornaments on my tree yet. She doesn't work and she is at home all day, so I can understand how she would have her home all prettied up for the Holidays. Me~ I work~ and I work hard, so getting the ornaments up on Christmas day is ok by me!

It was great fun to take out my whimsical fat mermaids and merman ornaments. It was good that I took them out of their box to enjoy them, because I only get to see them during this time of year. 

I hope everyone had a great Christmas this year. It is only four days until New Year's Eve. Do you know what your New Year's resolutions will be?!

Winivere

Malnutrition

 

When you look at an overweight person, you might not think about malnutrition as a diagnosis, but I was thinking about it when I discovered that a coworker is anemic. How can she be anemic if she is overweight? I do believe that being overweight can be a symptom of malnutrition.   I have many physical challenges, primarily because of a bad car accident and two bad falls, but I also have many broken bones, heart problems, a low functioning thyroid, a hernia close to my heart, high blood pressure, digestive problems, and a low immune system. Still, while a married woman may have the luxury of being sick, a single woman does not. If I don't work, I don't receive a paycheck. It's as simple as that.   When I take a hard look at my own diet, it makes sense that my body is lacking in good nutrition. I am always on the run, full of stress from the everyday challenges of my work and my everyday life. Although I usually try to eat healthy, I overeat, but I still don't consume all of the foods that you are supposed to eat in a day. To pay my bills, I often cut back on  my grocery bill. To get to more urgent things, I usually eat whatever is fast or handy. Sometimes, I look at foods that I would like to buy, like fresh strawberries, but they seem too expensive, so I pass them by. I say they are expensive, because for the price, they don't keep. That is why I buy frozen strawberries instead. If I go out to eat, they rarely add vegetables on my plate. I wonder how many Americans qualify french fries as a vegetable.        Experts say that when you get older, there are physiological changes in the sense of taste, poor appetite (often associated with loneliness, social isolation, depression, or medications), physical factors such as absent or ill-fitting dentures, limited ability to procure or prepare food because of musculoskeletal disorders or other disease conditions, and chronic disease. I guess that means that I am not lonely, socially isolated, or depressed. I guess that means that I am not classified as "older." =.)   My mother is thin, because of her dentures. She is embarrassed to eat in front of others and she has to eat foods that are soft. My greatest fear is to have to wear dentures some day. I don't understand why some people don't have their teeth, when all you have to do is drink milk and brush your teeth at least two times a day. Although my teeth are cracked from my car accident, people don't usually notice. I value my smile. I am happy that at 53, I still have all of my own teeth and that I have never had a cavity.   During the Thanksgiving holidays, I visited my Angel and her cherubs. It's funny how a simple gesture like dividing food can bring back so many memories. It brought to mind when my children were little and the hardships of a single parent, trying to feed my children on my small income. I remember praying to God for the food in the  pan to stretch enough to provide my children with the nutrition that they needed. I remember having to go hungry so that my children would have something toeat.     An empty nest has put more food into my mouth. Buying groceries for one is just as expensive if you want  the variety of the food pyramid. Sometimes, I look at the grocery store and I am at a loss. How can a single person buy nutritious food for one without it being so expensive? Will the day ever come when I walk by the strawberries without looking at the price?     Winivere

Staff Meeting

 

I was nervous about going to the meeting today, because I wasn't prepared. I brought all of my paperwork home, because I am so behind in my work. That kid that locked my filing cabinet cost me two months of not being able to get to my papers. I have been sick, and so, I even thought about calling in sick instead of going in to the meeting, but I went to the meeting anyway, praying all the way: God, just let me get through the day.   We had a presenter today on Anger Management. He walked into the room, and I quickly turned my head. "Oh, no!" I said. "You know him?" they said. "He used to always try to get me to go out with him," I said, blushing as I turned away.   Have you ever been nervous in your life?! I tried not to look at him, but then he commented: (My name)! I didn't see you there. (I was trying really hard to hide behind Patty.) How long has it been? He commented to everybody about my hair. You could tell he still "remembered" me, and then he said, "She's still got it!"   My colleagues were teasing me the whole time. I tried to keep my cool, really I did, but it wasn't easy.   I had planned to sneak out when it was time for us to go to lunch, but he extended his hand out to me and tried to make conversation. I tried to shake his hand, but he held it instead, and then, he said, "It's been six years. Why?" Of course, I didn't want to answer his question, and I quickly said, "I have to go to lunch now." It felt too awkward to stand there with my hand in his while everybody looked on.   Actually, it has been seven years. It's funny that last night, I was thinking about God sending me the right man, a soul-mate, if you will. Is it fate that James should show up? He doesn't even work in this County. God is pretty good about finding me a good parking space, but when it comes to finding me the right man, I am still waiting for God to get it right.    So... yea, I made it through today. I am now officially on vacation. I still have a lot of paperwork to do, but I am officially on vacation. =.) I have a lot of things to do that I normally don't have the time to do. I hope I will be able to do at least a few of the things on my TO DO list. =.)   P. S. The students and I went caroling last night. The students had fun, and so did I.

Something That Fits in a Box

  

 When I was a little girl, I never knew that I was poor, but I was very poor with no running water in the house, no insulation, no bed, and no heater. When I was a single parent, I remember going hungry so my kids could eat, and I remember being homeless for two years.

 

So whenever I see someone write down a "Christmas Wish List," I find it hard to understand why someone would do that. For me, the best presents I ever got were when my kids would clean house for me, bring me breakfast in bed, draw me a picture, or embroider something for me.

 

My thoughts for receiving gifts have not changed. I always think of what I can give to someone, but I never expect anything in return. I find no reason to ask for anything, because the gifts I like are not gifts that can be put into a box. It would be nice to have what others have, but I feel that I am already blessed.

 

In "Shall We Dance," Richard Gere's character feels as blessed as I do, and therefore, has no reason to ask for anything special, but when Susan Sarandan said that for once, she would like to know what he would like that fit in a box, it got me to thinking. What would I like that comes in a box?!#

 

So here is my list:

1. A telescope.

2. A dress form.

3. An easel.

4. A compass.

5. A music box that plays "Wind Beneath My Wings"

6. A standing jewelry box.

 

That's a long list for me... Now, if anyone asks, I finally have a list..

 

Winivere

 

                             

Merry Xmas from Texas

Wishing everyone a Merry Christmas from The Glass Box! Thanks for the ornament graphic, Sugar!

I see a busy weekend ahead for me. As usual, my TO DO list ends up being a CARRIED FORWARD list. I still haven't decorated for Christmas. I dread having to move the furniture, but I will try to do what I can.

I presented the idea of going carolling to the kids, but only the 6th grade girls and one 7th grade girl wanted to do it. They broke out in song with Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer in Spanish, but not everyone was singing the same words and they couldn't agree on what else they wanted to sing. It was hard enough getting them to pick out a day to do it. I think Monday is too soon, because they are not prepared, but that is the day they chose to do it.  

I told them that they need to write down the words so I can make copies, but they still haven't given me anything. We may have to postpone the carolling until next Monday if they don't get their act together. I would be going out of my way to do this next week, though, because I am off next Monday.

So, I right now, I am wondering if I should make that cake that I promised them for the carolling party. Oh well, I guess I can make some frosting, so I can make some flowers for the cake.

 

Tree Fever

 

I fell in love with this little bear couple taking their little tree home. Thank you for the cute graphic, Donna. You're a sweetheart!   I see everybody is busy putting up their Xmas trees and decorating their homes for the holidays. I look at that little corner of my living room where the tree should go, and then, I think that I need to move the furniture to make it look right, and then, I sit down. LOL...    Do I really want to decorate for Xmas? I wasn't in the holiday spirit last year. I haven't really been in a holiday spirit for many years, but maybe if I do decorate, I will finally get that holiday spirit.....   I dropped by my "friend's" produce shed after work today to pick up some free Texas citrus~ oranges and ruby red grapefruit~ so I can put together a Xmas goodie bag for the kids. As usual, he kept staring at me, and told me he has everything I want. (Blush)     Winivere

Unlock My Heart

  I called the maintenance department today to check on the status of my work order and to see when they would be sending someone to unlock my filing cabinet. Well, guess what! The locksmith showed up. He said the vice principal never sent in a work order for my filing cabinet. Why would she lie and tell me that it takes a long time for them to come out to fix anything, knowing that she never put in a work order? I have been waiting for two months for nothing?!

Thank you so much to all my precious angels who said a prayer for me today! My filing cabinet has been opened! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!!!

I had a pretty busy day so I didnt meet with the principal, and the principal didnt look for me, so that part is still hanging.

As for the paperwork, the locked filing cabinet has set me way behind, but I still have a lot of services to handwrite and I am still waiting to get approved so that I can start inputting information into the computer from August to December.

Tomorrow will be another full day. I delivered most of the calendars today, but I still have a few calendars to deliver. I have about four groups scheduled, and I have the names of about seven or eight kids to try to recruit into the program. On top of that, I have a lot of organizing and filing to do, especially since I will be going from a four drawer cabinet to a two drawer cabinet. I hope I can find a place to put everything.

Need prayer today

Please say a little prayer for me today...

1). A student locked my filing cabinet at work and there is no key. (I've been waiting for two months already.)

2). The principal wants to talk to me today about my projects. It's always scary to speak to the principal, even as an adult. She never smiles.

3). I have to reapply for access to our computer program. (Fourth try)

4). I'm running behind in my paperwork.

Thanks,

Win =.)

J-Land Visiting

 If I haven't been by to visit your journal lately, I will be making my rounds, but I am drowning in paperwork this weekend. I'm looking forward to visiting soon!

 

Winivere =.)

The Nutcracker Ballet

                                               

                                             graphic: http://www.boiseweekly.com/

God must have heard my prayer last night, because he gave me back my voice this morning. Good thing, too, because my chaparone and her daughter failed to show up. I had to take the students by myself. I am fortunate that they mind me when I correct them. I would have to say that my students were the best behaved students in the whole building.

I wish that I could have taken everyone to see the Ballet. The music, the dancers, the dancing, the costumes! It was phenomenal, and the nutcracker was very well made coming and going.. very well made.

I just wish I had put new batteries in my camera before I left. Although I wasnt able to take close pictures, I wish my camera hadn't given out.

A special thanks to everybody who prayed for me to get my voice back. I am still sick and I am still coughing, but at least, I have my voice back.

Back at Work

I am still feeling sick and I still do not have my voice, but I went in to work today.

It is funny how people don't know how to respond to someone who cannot talk. They are at a loss and don't know what to say, or they start acting if they can't talk, either.

I am worried about tomorrow. I hope we will be back in time from the Nutcracker Ballet for the children to eat lunch. The woman who was supposed to go with me to chaparone the kids hasn't called and she was not available at her work. I had to look for a replacement and me with no voice!

I was able to reach one of the parents, but because of my voice, she thought I was pulling a prank, so she asked me a million questions. I kept trying to explain to her that I was sick and couldn't talk. She finally figured it out, but she put my voice through the test big time!

Please say a prayer for everything to go smoothly tomorrow.  The students will have to do without their usual breakfast at 9 a.m. I hope they can survive that, and I hope the cafeteria people won't give me a hard time getting them some lunch if we are late returning from the ballet.

I hope I get my voice back by tomorrow. It's already been three days.

Out Sick

I am not feeling any better. My throat feels as if it is full of broken glass. My ears feel as if they are going to pop. My headache is as big as Texas. My bones hurt. I have the runs. And I have lost my voice. I hate being sick.

I am feeling guilty about not going in to work today, but I will try to take good care of myself. I have too much to do. I hope I can go in to work tomorrow.

Pyramid of Health

 

The Thanksgiving feast was good, but the Chinese stir-fry and the creamy enchiladas were even better. And with all that wonderful wine, who needs a sleeping pill?!    I usually eat a healthy Thanksgiving meal, but going to someone else's house was the result of too many treats for my tummy that were hard to say "no" to.  I swear, I must have put on at least 10 pounds over Thanksgiving alone...   I returned with a painfully scratchy throat, which means that I will probably be eating some soups with jalapeno until I feel better. I do not know if I will feel good enough to take go marketing today, but when I do, I think it would be better to take my mind off holiday foods and sweets for awhile and to review the Food Pyramid before I take that next trip to the grocery store.   Food Pyramid    5-1/2 oz  protein: lean meats, poultry, legumes, beans, peas, nuts, seeds 3 cups milk 2 cups fruit 2-1/2 cups vegetables (best: broccoli, spinach, peas, green beans, carrots, sweet potatoes) 3 oz whole wheat grains (brown rice, barley, oats)   Super Foods   Vitamin C: water with splash of lemon juice for liver cleansing. Omega 3s: flax for muscle Cinnamon   for lowering cholesterol and improving glucose levels Yogurt:  for building bones and for healthy intestinal tract Seafood: for reducing heart disease and colon cancer Whole Wheat Grains: for energy Legumes: are low in fat and high in protein, fiber, vitamins and minerals. Good for lowering cholesterol and blood sugar Nuts: contain copper, magnesium and vitamin E. Almonds contain calcium; walnuts contain Omega 3s.   Winivere

Thanksgiving Greetings

 

Happy Thanksgiving                                                                         from The Glass Box.   I will be on a mini-break this week. Wishing one and all a very happy Thanksgiving.   A special thanks to Roxy Mama for the Thanksgiving graphic and to Donna for the fantasy graphic.

Sunday

 

If you look up weekend under images, you will find images of beautiful places to see or of things to do with your loved one(s). Unfortunately, for me, weekend means a little bit of time to do those tasks that I don't have the time to complete during the weekdays, and most of the time, those To Do Tasks get carried forward onto the next weekend, because there never seems to be enough time.   It would be nice to be able to have time on my hands to do whatever I want. It is no wonder that so many men commit affairs, because men always have way too much time on their hands. Women, on the other hand, always seem to give themselves extra work to do! No wonder we are always tired.                          I timed the hair appointment just right, because I had some time in between to visit the St Jude shrine, to go grocery shopping, to put away the groceries, and to take a nap. I thought it was funny that my coworker said that I could relax and drink a margarita while the kids entertained themselves. That might be the way she babysits, but to me, that is not babysitting.    The girls showed me their rooms and their toys. The ten year old had lots of award ribbons. She wears two hearing aids and has a speech problem. She says her stepfather is more like a real dad.    We watched the Corpse Bride. We ate. We played checkers and tic-tac-toe. The older girl said: I wish you could come back tomorrow. Aww, sweet. Mom must have called three or four times while she was away. We were all like: Again?! Like can't you see that you keep interrupting us when we are having so much fun?! ha ha     Today is Sunday. I wish this was a day that I could use just to relax, but hopefully, I won't kill myself, trying to complete some of the tasks on my to do list.   Winivere

Saturday

It's hard to remember a day that I don't wake up early. In my childhood, it was the roosters that would start my day, but as an adult, it's usually the light of day that makes me feel as if I have slept too long, no matter how late I stay up the night before.

Today, I am the first appointment on my hairdresser's agenda. I am not looking forward to handing her my hard earned money, but my grown out roots demand some attention. This is the first touchup that I go to.

It feels weird to have to go to a professional to get my hair done. In the past, I always dyed my own hair. I like doing it myself, because I don't have to worry about having calico hair. I just retouch as soon as it is needed. But with highlights, it is so expensive that you wait three months between treatments, unless if you have a high paying job, I suppose. Marilyn Monroe would retouch her roots every five days. That's a lot of maintenance! I think I have done the hair comb over trick to it's limit. All I know is that I am too embarrassed to let it go one more week. It's time.

While we were at lunch yesterday, one of the teachers was talking on the phone with her friend. They were frustrated at wanting to attend a dinner gala event but they couldn't find a babysitter. I told her that I would do it, and she thought I was joking. To make a long story short, that is what I will be doing tonight: babysitting two little girls, ages 5 and 10.

So after work yesterday, she invited me to coffee and to meet the girls. Well, we ended up at Red Lobster instead! I didn't expect a meal out of this, but I am glad that it was at a restaurant that left my palate in complete catharsis, not to mention the buns that were not on the menu. The waiters were so hot that they were fortunate that the food kept me busy, although it didn't keep me from flirting when they showed up.

I feel guilty about not calling Tony. He probably thinks I didn't like him enough to take the time to keep in contact with him. Is this what men feel like when they don't call us?

Just Another Typical Day

Sharing a few events of the day...

 

"The teacher was staring at my breasts," she defended herself, insinuating that the teacher was a pervert to tell her that she needed to wear something that was more appropriate. "None of the other teachers have said anything," she said. "There's nothing wrong with what I am wearing."

 

Well, the truth is that the student is overweight and her weight made her look as if she had more curves than a matterhorn at Disneyland. I looked at her and said, "Well, ma'am, your top IS quite revealing." She seemed shocked to hear me say that. She tried to pull her top up, and she laughed as if she realized that I was telling the truth, but of course, the top was too small to stay up. 

 

In one of my groups, I couldn't believe the behavior of two students who got referrals on the same day. They pulled out their referrals to compare them and gave themselves a high five as if to celebrate their success at doing something bad.

 

"What's the use of getting a certificate if you don't get anything else with it. It's just a piece of paper." one student said.

 

"You're right," I said. "If you had received a certificate, you could have shown it to your dad and he might have been proud of you. If you receive a referral, that's your ticket to go to OCS with all the other bad kids.You are right. Your referral gives you the reward of going to OCS and making your dad see that you are not willing to do well in school. What are you going to tell your mom?"

 

"My mom is going tobe mad, Miss." Suddenly, they were quiet. (That kid always comments at how his father is too busy with his other family.)

 

"I don't care," the other girl said. "I don't need to finish school. School is boring."

 

"You don't need to finish school? Well, then maybe you won't be bored when you have a husband or a boyfriend who will make you do whatever he wants you to do, someone who doesn't like to  work. Do you really want to have to depend on someone else to take care of you who doesn't want to work?! Don't you want to be able to depend on yourself?"

 

She got quiet. The other kids got quiet. I think it hit home, because all but one of the kids in that group live with single mothers.

 

Then, there is this student who only has one eye. The kids make fun of her and she is always in trouble because she is always trying to defend herself. She is a special ed student and I don't think anyone has taken the time to teach her any social skills. Well, today, I got after one of the kids in group who keeps making fun of the one-eyed girl for no reason.

 

"Everybody else does it," they all said. "Nobody likes her." 

 

"Just because everyone does it doesn't make it right. What if it was you? How would you feel? You are going to meet all types of people in your life," I told her, "and many of them are going to be without an eye, without an arm, without a leg. It's not her fault that she only has one eye. What are your reasons for making fun of her and treating her bad? Did someone with bad eyes look at you the wrong way? Does your mom scare you with her eyes when she gets angry at you?"

 

The other kids thought it was funny and they laughed.

 

"I don't like people that stare at me," she said, "and that girl is always staring at me with her one eye."

 

So I made everybody in group stare at her. She laughed and covered herself with her notebook. She couldn't take it. She told everybody to stop staring at her. 

 

"My mom does scare me with her eyes when she gets mad,"she said.

 

"What if God punishes you and sends you a boyfriend or a husband who has scary eyes? What are you going to do?"

 

"My boyfriend has a bulging eye," she said. 

 

"Is that going to make you hate him?" I asked.

 

"No. I love him." she said... and then she was quiet.

 

I looked up at the picture in my office of the three frogs, and I told them the story of the three frogs. "Which frog are you?" I asked them. They couldnt have been more wrong about which frog they were and about which frog they should be. The story made them think.

 

I was surprised that one of the other kids asked about the other picture, so I shared with them the story of the  eagle and the chicken. "What does that story tell you?" I asked. Again, this story made them think.

 

The pictures that seem out of place in my office finally made sense to them. The kids were quiet, as if deep in thought. Will they finally get it?

 

Behavior cannot change in a day or even in a week. Words are only words until they are followed by action. Will she make it? Will they make it? Having free will leaves all of our decisions in our own court.

 

Then, there is this little boy who is always in trouble. He is only in sixth grade and he is adorable, but he manages to get into trouble almost everyday. "The kids always blame everything on me," he said. The problem is that he has already established a reputation, so when he tells the truth, they don't believe him. I had to share  with him the story of the kid who cried wolf. When I went to pick him up at PE for group, he had to go to detention, because he was late to class. For the first time, I noticed that the look on his face was different. Did he finally get it?

 

Sharing my stories with the kids always makes me remember a girl named Jordan. When we parted, she left me a note that said:

 

I hope you will continue with your job so you will keep on sharing your interesting stories.

 

My jobs have never paid me what I am worth, but it's kids like Jordan that make my work feel so rewarding. Who will be the Jordan(s) at this job?

 

My goal is not to make a difference. My goal is to be the difference.

 

Thank you to Donna (nightmare mom) for this great graphic.

A Word About Ceremonies

I don't know about you, but I was very disappointed that there was no VIVI award ceremony this year. I was looking forward to all of the festivities.

Thank God for Richard who invited all of the people who voted for The Glass Box to come over to my apartment for our own VIVI celebration. It was totally unexpected, but oh, so worth the moonlight! (see Nov 10 entry)

Speaking of ceremonies... On Friday, I presented the kids with Student Recognition Awards. The students had no idea that I would be doing that. I love how big their eyes got when they saw all of the awards that they received. I had one student who received six!

Then, I gave them the "news." I will be taking all of the students who are passing and have no behavior referrals to see the Nutcracker Ballet. The children whose names I called were very surprised and they are very excited to be going on this field trip. The children who were not named were disappointed, but they realized that it was their fault for not livingup to their student responsibilities.

Then, I called in a couple of teachers. I recognized the teacher who provided the most student recommendations into my program, and I recognized the drama teacher who helped us with the Anti-Drug Skit. The kids applauded for them and I presented both of them with a cup from our company. The teachers were surprised that they were recognized and the applause from the children made it feel even more priceless.

It was a very simple ceremony and we celebrated with punch, cookies and peanuts, but the ceremony made a big impact.

Before our celebration was over, I noticed that one of the teachers brought in the kids that are not in the program to show them what they have missed.

  So, even though there was no VIVI award ceremony, I would like to take this time to congratulate all the journals that received VIVI awards, all the journals who were nominated, all the people who nominated the nominees, all the people who voted, and all the people who participated in putting the VIVI awards together.

  My journal was nominated in 2004 and it was nominated again in 2006. Wow! I hope that everybody gets to experience the thrill of being nominated. It doesn't matter that The Glass Box didn't win at either nomination. It is amazing just to know that you have recognized my journal and brought new readers into my realm.

 Thank you, Everyone! You are amazing!!! Thank you for writing. Thank you for sharing your most intimate thoughts. Thank you for sharing your lives with me! I love my J-Land friends!

 Winivere