Just Another Typical Day

Sharing a few events of the day...

 

"The teacher was staring at my breasts," she defended herself, insinuating that the teacher was a pervert to tell her that she needed to wear something that was more appropriate. "None of the other teachers have said anything," she said. "There's nothing wrong with what I am wearing."

 

Well, the truth is that the student is overweight and her weight made her look as if she had more curves than a matterhorn at Disneyland. I looked at her and said, "Well, ma'am, your top IS quite revealing." She seemed shocked to hear me say that. She tried to pull her top up, and she laughed as if she realized that I was telling the truth, but of course, the top was too small to stay up. 

 

In one of my groups, I couldn't believe the behavior of two students who got referrals on the same day. They pulled out their referrals to compare them and gave themselves a high five as if to celebrate their success at doing something bad.

 

"What's the use of getting a certificate if you don't get anything else with it. It's just a piece of paper." one student said.

 

"You're right," I said. "If you had received a certificate, you could have shown it to your dad and he might have been proud of you. If you receive a referral, that's your ticket to go to OCS with all the other bad kids.You are right. Your referral gives you the reward of going to OCS and making your dad see that you are not willing to do well in school. What are you going to tell your mom?"

 

"My mom is going tobe mad, Miss." Suddenly, they were quiet. (That kid always comments at how his father is too busy with his other family.)

 

"I don't care," the other girl said. "I don't need to finish school. School is boring."

 

"You don't need to finish school? Well, then maybe you won't be bored when you have a husband or a boyfriend who will make you do whatever he wants you to do, someone who doesn't like to  work. Do you really want to have to depend on someone else to take care of you who doesn't want to work?! Don't you want to be able to depend on yourself?"

 

She got quiet. The other kids got quiet. I think it hit home, because all but one of the kids in that group live with single mothers.

 

Then, there is this student who only has one eye. The kids make fun of her and she is always in trouble because she is always trying to defend herself. She is a special ed student and I don't think anyone has taken the time to teach her any social skills. Well, today, I got after one of the kids in group who keeps making fun of the one-eyed girl for no reason.

 

"Everybody else does it," they all said. "Nobody likes her." 

 

"Just because everyone does it doesn't make it right. What if it was you? How would you feel? You are going to meet all types of people in your life," I told her, "and many of them are going to be without an eye, without an arm, without a leg. It's not her fault that she only has one eye. What are your reasons for making fun of her and treating her bad? Did someone with bad eyes look at you the wrong way? Does your mom scare you with her eyes when she gets angry at you?"

 

The other kids thought it was funny and they laughed.

 

"I don't like people that stare at me," she said, "and that girl is always staring at me with her one eye."

 

So I made everybody in group stare at her. She laughed and covered herself with her notebook. She couldn't take it. She told everybody to stop staring at her. 

 

"My mom does scare me with her eyes when she gets mad,"she said.

 

"What if God punishes you and sends you a boyfriend or a husband who has scary eyes? What are you going to do?"

 

"My boyfriend has a bulging eye," she said. 

 

"Is that going to make you hate him?" I asked.

 

"No. I love him." she said... and then she was quiet.

 

I looked up at the picture in my office of the three frogs, and I told them the story of the three frogs. "Which frog are you?" I asked them. They couldnt have been more wrong about which frog they were and about which frog they should be. The story made them think.

 

I was surprised that one of the other kids asked about the other picture, so I shared with them the story of the  eagle and the chicken. "What does that story tell you?" I asked. Again, this story made them think.

 

The pictures that seem out of place in my office finally made sense to them. The kids were quiet, as if deep in thought. Will they finally get it?

 

Behavior cannot change in a day or even in a week. Words are only words until they are followed by action. Will she make it? Will they make it? Having free will leaves all of our decisions in our own court.

 

Then, there is this little boy who is always in trouble. He is only in sixth grade and he is adorable, but he manages to get into trouble almost everyday. "The kids always blame everything on me," he said. The problem is that he has already established a reputation, so when he tells the truth, they don't believe him. I had to share  with him the story of the kid who cried wolf. When I went to pick him up at PE for group, he had to go to detention, because he was late to class. For the first time, I noticed that the look on his face was different. Did he finally get it?

 

Sharing my stories with the kids always makes me remember a girl named Jordan. When we parted, she left me a note that said:

 

I hope you will continue with your job so you will keep on sharing your interesting stories.

 

My jobs have never paid me what I am worth, but it's kids like Jordan that make my work feel so rewarding. Who will be the Jordan(s) at this job?

 

My goal is not to make a difference. My goal is to be the difference.

 

Thank you to Donna (nightmare mom) for this great graphic.