Sunday, April 24, 2005

House by the Sea

House by the Sea<br />(10 x 16 in.)

               ~ Artwork by D. Morgan http://www.dmorganart.com/

Never, never get mad at your boss and walk out on your job, because you never know what lies ahead.

Visiting Mary's journal brought back memories of the two years when we were homeless... giving away precious memories to the Salvation Army that you can never replace, finding a storage unit that you can afford to store what you can, throwing away things because you have nowhere to put them. It is so painful. It is worse than a divorce.

Depending on others has never been a good choice for me, and this was just another example of why depending on my family is a big no-no.

My cousin poked me in both eyes, offering to fix her used car (never happened), and transplanting you to a place full of prejudice that only recognizes you if you are black or white. Who would believe that in our time and age, prejudice is still so strong in some states, but it is. Imagine a college graduate not being able to get a job anywhere because of the color of my skin. It's not as if it was a long time ago, either; it happened in 1990. My cousin did not want me to get ahead, she wanted to use me as a babysitter and housekeeper so that she could progress.

My cousin didnt like it, but she wasnt doing anything to help us, so I took a job as a hostess at a restaurant, and we moved in with a waitress from work. The waitress had too many men at her apartment, though, even a naked one that she had to hide in our room, because she had another man yelling at her at the front door. I was lucky that my daughter was asleep when that happened, but I had to move out, because I didnt think it was save for us.

I left that job, moved into a small trailer, and found a job, walking up and down a hill to work as a breakfast cook at McDonald's. So much prejudice! I couldnt even get a job at Wal-Mart. Wearing a McDonald's uniform everyday is not exactly my cup of tea, but it was a job.

FACT: Some of the most successful people in life have worked for McDonald's.

The kids on the bus would make fun of my daughter and tell her that she was black, because she was not white. Such ignorant people who dont recognize other races. It was so sad to see her go through that, but we worked through it as best we could. And then I got sick. I got so sick, walking through the elements to work, that I began to cough up blood... no transporation and no one to take me to the doctor, even my family refused to take me. I talked to my daughter and told her that this was not a good place for us. I told her that I didnt know how we were going to do this, but that I thought it best if we returned to Corpus Christi. It was a scary decision to make, but at least they have a bus system, and there was no way that I was going to be stuck living this way for the rest of my life. 

When we got to Corpus, I bought a newspaper and took a job as a nanny and housekeeper. The job paid only $50.00 a week: housekeeping for a two story house, taking care of two really bad brats, cooking and laundry. It was so much work, but at least my daughter and I had a roof over our heads. I didnt have to pay rent or utilities, so whatever I made, I saved until I could afford to get another car and get a better job.

I have been working since the age of five and I have had many jobs in my lifetime. I have a bachelor's degree in Criminal Justice and I am a qualified mental health professional and a certified Positive Steps instructor, and all of these things I have been able to accomplish without help from family or a husband. I have worked with crisis intervention, rape victims, criminals, domestic violence, done investigations and collected evidence, prevented countless people from committing suicide, stabilized so many mentally ill patients and taught them how to survive outside of the mental hospital, and assisted so many people to lead more productive lives.

I would say God planted me at my current job, because in my past, I was an expert at being unemployed. It seems as if I was always getting laid off and the jobs that Godblessed me with, I walked away from, because I wasnt going to take the way I was treated. In your mind you may think that you are proving a point, but companies dont care if you walk away, because they can always find someone else to take your place. They might not do as great a job as you did, but all they want is someone to do the job.

Too many people go from job to job and from paycheck to paycheck. So many people think that a good job is a job that pays more, but when that job ends, they have no skills to take to another job. Because they are young, they use their body strength to help them get ahead, but in time, the body gives out. Whatsmore, the more money people make, the more money they spend, and then, they refuse to take less pay, because they do not believe that they can survive on less money. Some men dont want their wives to work, and then something happens to the relationship or something happens to the husband and he is unable to work. Suddenly, the wife is stuck with no skills and no idea what to do. It's not fair to the wife and it's not fair to the children. 

Whenever I look back at my life, I must remember that if I can help so many other people, I need to be just as kind and gentle with myself, because I am just as important as anybody else that I choose to help. Whenever I look back at my life, I remember all of the mistakes that I have made. Some people say that they dont know why bad things happen to good people. Bad things happen to good people to equip them with the tools they need to help others who are going through the same things that you experienced.  

It only takes one person to change a life.

Never, never do an act of kindness to get something in return. Do it because it is the right thing to do.

I was a stranger in my own mother's house. I was a stranger in my ex-husband's house. My house was nothing great, but how I miss my house by the sea. It brings me memories of sadness, because it was the place that I was able to call "home" and it was the only place where I felt that I belonged. I lost my house because of pride, and I didnt get a cent from it, but I thank the Lord that did get some sense from that experience. 

Where I am now is not where I choose to be, but for now, this is where God wants me to be. I do not know if I will ever find another place to call home. I no longer live by the sea, but at least I have a view of the pool. (smile)

Heaven's a little closer... in a house by the sea. ~ D.Morgan

To walk along the beach, the sun against your face, feels every bit as sweet as the warmth of an embrace. ~ D.Morgan                                              

Our legacy in life we cannot retrieve-- Our mark is surely made... ...by the footprints that we leave. ~ D.Morgan

                                                                                                Walk Along The Beach<br />(10 x 10 in.)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

What a great entry today!!! I love your positive outlook and you have come a long way baby!!!!   Give youself a great big pat on the back and a hug--you deserve it Winn.   Continue on girl---Mary