Saturday, April 17, 2004

Isabella's Baptism

I was really looking forward to attending my grandaughter's baptism today. I asked for the day off yesterday to travel the six hours to get there, but then my daughter dropped the bomb on me. Her father has come back into her life and has even spent the night at her house and he will be at the baptism with his new wife (wife no. 9). 

I feel proud that I raised her not to hate, but as selfish as it may sound, it is going to cost a lot of stress on my heart to handle the 12 hour roundtrip and to have to face their father again. If I didnt have a heart problem, maybe. If I had someone to drive me up there and back, maybe. And dont think that I havent thought about giving him a heart attack by wearing something low cut!  =.)

But in this situation, I have to think with my head because of my heart. They say God helps those who help themselves. God is depending on me to do for myself and he knows that right now I have to take care of myself. It would be like putting myself in a dangerous situation instead of being wise enough to know not to get into the fire. As sad as it makes me feel not to be there, I have to be brave enough to say no.

Going to need to take extra care not to overeat today. My heart has been racing for the past two days and I am not feeling very well. 

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

{{{{{Win}}}}} I know this must be a very difficult situation and a heavy hearted decision for you to miss Isabella's Baptism. I hope that sometime soon you will have an opportunity to spend some quality time with your daughter and Isabella. My thoughts and prayers are with you my friend.
Love,
Vivian

Anonymous said...

((((Viv))))), thanks so much for being there when I needed you.

Anonymous said...

I recd an email from Shaners1234, who didnt leave a comment in my journal but wrote this in her email:
I felt hope when I read your entry, that you can come to the point of having those conflicting situations and realize you are valuable enough to realize you have to consider yourself as an important part of this world to.
Thanks Trisha. Holding your hand, Win =.)