Beautiful, Part III

What is it like to be beautiful? Is it an easier life as far as job promotions, getting better seats in restaurants, cutting in line, getting men to pay for your gas, your car note, your rent, or whatever!

I have never thought of myself as beautiful, but I was in very good shape in my 20s, 30s, and 40s. Being in shape took a lot of hard work. My routine was a lot of walking, jogging, and lifting weights five days a week, and dancing twice a month. I was never on a diet, but I did watch my portions. I mostly ate foods that were economical, because I had two girls and a dog to feed, and I had to stretch my food dollar. I chose vegetables over salads with little or no nutrition value and you'd never catch me munching on celery or carrot sticks like people with money do. 

My body has been through a lot. I have lots of health problems due to a bad car accident from which I broke almost every bone in my body and a fall at my last job when I turned 50. Jogging has been out of the picture for a long time, because it is very bad for the joints, and besides, gravity is not a woman's friend. After the fall, it has become more difficult to walk and do things around the house like I used to. My energy is not what it used to be. I dont know how long it will take my body to heal, but I believe in the power of the mind and I believe that a lot of times, our bodies are able to heal themselves. Thinking positive is a very important part of healing.

I love being independent. Working helps me to feel good about myself. I have been working since I was six years old and earning money since I was seven. My first job was working in the cotton fields, and I picked cotton every summer until I graduated from high school. At age six, I was in full control of a household: cleaning, cooking, and taking care of my brother. Even though I could barely read, I even taught myself how to make cookies. Taking care of a household taught me valuable skills, but I never earned any money from it. I think that is why I prefer to work at a job outside the home.

Jobs came easily for me, not because I was beautiful, but because others saw that I was a respectful and responsible little girl. People would look for me to come to work for them.When I was in junior high, I found my dad's old typewriter and typing book and I taught myself how to type. When the priest found out that I could type, he hired me to do the church bookkeeping, type the bulletins, and use the printing press. Another man sought me out to work for him as a cashier at the local soda shoppe where the kids would hang out at lunchtime. These were all jobs that fell in my lap without my even applying for them.

Getting a job is not about begging someone to give you a job. It is about doing your homework about yourself, to know yourself so well that when they interview you, you make yourself shine, because you already know all the answers and you are able to tell them stories about how you were able to accomplish this or that. Getting a job is never a problem.

Keeping a job is a different matter, because bosses are different. Working for a woman is much harder because women bosses have to prove themselves. They are too jealous and too competitive. It is hard for them to understand that I dont want their job, that I just want to prove myself. Most men dont have that handicap. Proving myself to a man boss has always been easier for me, not because of being beautiful, but because I am a hard dedicated worker.  As for promotions, I have never had a promotion that I didnt work hard for. A lot of times, you can be passed up for promotions if you look too beautiful, especially if you work for a woman boss. Other times, the only way to get a promotion is to leave that job for a better job.

I have had many jobs in my lifetime. My turning point was when I saw that there was no escape from poverty if I didnt finish my education. It was hard to go back to college as a single parent, having to pay someone to watch my kids while I worked and went to school, but I did it. I got through it. Today, I dont earn what I am worth. I make a very modest salary, but at least, I earn more than minimum wage.

When I got my degree, I thought things would be different, but working with educated people is just as hard as working for uneducated people. People are just as jealous and vicious. Alot of times, you just have to know when to keep your mouth shut.

Cutting in line is something that I would ever do, simply because it just isnt right. I hate it when people do that, because it shows that they are uneducated and that they have no problem being disrespectful.

Better seats in restaurants? The way I live is very modest. I dont usually go out to eat at a fancy restaurant, unless if I have a date who is okay with paying for my meal. But even at a fancy restaurant, I look for the meals with a modest price, no matter who is paying for it. The only restaurants I like to go to are where there is good seafood or chinese food. If a man doesnt know how to cook, I dont date him. I think it is a lot better to have a man who is helpful in the kitchen. I dont care for men who want to be waited on hand and foot. Yes, even I enjoy breakfast in bed once in awhile!

Being beautiful does not mean that men are drawn to you, because they want to have a great life with you. Being pretty has made me a target for men who have hormone problems, men who see me as a toy for a few minutes of bliss, men who want to have me without any kind of commitment. Having a man to pay my debts is something that I have never experienced. Most of the men in my lifetime notice that I am a hard working person, and a lot of times, they tried to take advantage of that. There are many men in the world who wouldnt blink twice to have a woman earn the money and take care of all their physical and material needs. To this day, I have no idea what it would be like to have a man who was genuinely concerned about me, a man who is genuinely interested in making a better life for us. I wish I knew what it is like to attract the right man. 

  This is my passport photograph on a grayscale. My hair was a reddish brown and it was pulled back in a hairclip. When I turned 50, I changed my hair color to blonde, and I have allowed my natural curls to do what they want. This picture was taken when I thought I had found happiness. It was taken thirteen years ago. This was my favorite cotton shirt. It was olive green with long sleeves and a sgt stripe on the sleeve like the picture of Marilyn Monroe in the Love Nest picture above. I loved to wear this shirt when I worked at the jail, because it looked so military and authoritative. Working at the jail, I had to downplay my beauty. I could only wear minimal makeup and I couldnt wear perfume at all. I wore mostly pants and flats with a little wedge heel.How you dress at a job could make you or break you.

Being beautiful has taught me that proving yourself past your looks is a full time job in your career and in finding the perfect mate. Losing weight should always be something that you do for yourself. It makes you feel more confident when you look and feel better in your clothes.

Losing weight is not about competing with the beautiful people. It's not enough to be beautiful. You have to be beautiful and popular or beautiful and famous for people to see you differently. But even Marilyn Monroe had a lot of men problems, because men always failed to see the bright woman that she was. .

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