You Left Your Imprints On My Heart

Saying GOODBYE is never easy. Yesterday was my last day of work. Today, my immediate boss wanted me to go in so that they could pick up the filing cabinet and the computer. I will not get paid for going in to work today.

I misplaced the wire that adds pictures from my camera to my computer, so these are only a few pictures of the memories I will take with me from this school year. Some people have said that I have touched many hearts, but these kids all left a big imprint on my heart. Yesterday, I got hugs in the 8th grade hall, the 7th grade hall, and the 6th grade hall. I was very brave and didn't cry, but watching these pictures brings tears to my eyes of the beautiful children that I must leave behind.

When I came home, I had to take a nap. All of this business of working late hours and trying to get things done by yesterday has been so exhausting.

I was very surprised that the director told me that my last day would be May 30 by email, but I was even more surprised that when I went in today to sign off my time sheet, leave the keys, pick up my paycheck, and deliver my papers, the director was not there to say goodbye to me. I can only assume that he feels bad that he had to let me go. My immediate boss was at a loss of words. He never gave me a goodbye, either.

I leave my job, knowing that this time that they gave me to finish up, I could have spent looking for another job, but instead, I did everything that I could to bring as much of my work up-to-date. I leave this job, knowing that I gathered all the information my boss will need to complete the paperwork on my files. I did not leave them stranded. I went beyond my expectations to leave my work in good standing. They will not have anything to complain about.

I am grateful that I am the way I am. I am grateful that no matter what, I leave my job knowing that I did a good job. When my immediate boss sees my kids' progress, he will see that, too. I thank God that I made a difference where I was planted.

Where will God place me next? What plans does He have for me? I can't help but feel butterflies in my stomach that this door has closed to make way for a new door that I have yet to find.

Remembering Their Sacrifice

A Soldier

 

There is a discipline in a Soldier.

You can see it when he walks.

There is honor in a Soldier.

You can hear it when he talks.

There is courage in a Soldier.

You can see it in his eyes.

There is loyalty in a Soldier,

that he will not compromise.

There is something in a Soldier

that makes him stand apart.

There is strength in a Soldier

that beats from his heart.

A Soldier isn't a title

any man can be hired to do.

A Soldier is the soul

of that man buried deep inside of you.

A Soldier's job isn't finished

after an 8 hour day or a 40 hour week.

A Soldier is always a Soldier

even when he sleeps.

A Soldier serves his country first

and his life is left behind.

A Soldier has to sacrifice what comes first

in a Civilian's mind.

If you are a Civilian-

I am saying this to you...

Next time you see a Soldier

remember what they do.

A Soldier is the reason

our land is "Home of the Free"

A Soldier is the one that is brave,

protecting you and me.

If you are a Soldier-

I am saying this to you...

Thank God for every Soldier!

Thank God for what you do!

 

 

.::Shock::.

                                               

If you live your life like a flat line with no ups or downs, you are not living. Thank heavens for the ups and downs of life. It helps me to know that I am still alive!

 

I cannot deny that I am nervous about having to start over again... at my age... and yet, it seems that everywhere I go, they keep calling me "Young Lady." Does that mean that I might have a chance against all of that youthful competition? I know they are not supposed to discriminate because of age, but it is so obvious that the young are at the top of the hiring list.

 

I thought that I would have to explain my dilemma, but it looks as if I have already explained it previously, sort of. Hummm.. I am running behind reading my own journal?!

 

It is just that I did not expect this to happen so soon. I figured that I would work through summer and be without a job in September. I am still in shock. I have never left a job with money in my hand.  Perhaps, I shouldn't hold my breath until the money is in my hands.

 

I ask myself if I was fired or if I was laid off. What will I say when I am asked in an interview why I left my last job? It sounds to me as if it was a cut in funding. Am I wrong? What will my boss say when someone asks him? I will have to askthe accountant to see if he can find out for me...

 

I have told some of the teachers what happened, (that the principal does not want me to return next school year) and they are as shocked as I am. Many of the teachers feel that I have done a lot for the kids.

 

Mrs. J says that they have never had anyone like me before. She said she was looking forward to working with me next school year. She seems very impressed at how I am with the kids, how the kids respond to me, and how I have gone beyond the call of duty for the kids.

 

No matter what happens, I know that I have made a difference. It is sad that some people fail to see it or refuse to see it.

 

What will my life be like next week? I am just hoping that I will not run out of my savings before I find another job.

 

 

 

 

Journal Quickie

I received news yesterday that my last day at work will be May 30. I was expecting at least more two more weeks to complete my paperwork, but it looks as if I will have to leave my work unfinished. I am only halfway through the list of kids. After May 30, I will need to look for another job. Please keep me in your prayers. I will be back later to explain.

TheGlassBox featured in CarnivAOL

                       

Oh, my God! Have you heard the latest news about The Glass Box?!

A new reader recommended for The Glass Box to be featured in the 39th Edition of CarnivAOL...

 

Hosting the 39th Edition of CarnivAOL :)

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

 

 

Win at  The Woman in the Glass Box  sends a post with some deep and moving thoughts about love, sex, and the sadness hiding 'behind the smile.' 

 

Click here: Behind the Smile

Click here: Hosting the 39th Edition of CarnivAOL

 

 

I would like to thank all the little people who have brought me to where I am today. Thank you, Robin, for recommending my journal to CarnivAOL. Thank you, Kassie, for telling me that you think all three of my journals should be featured! Give me some time to update the other two, and then, we'll talk! =.) And a great big thank you  goes out to all of my fans, because without you, my journal would be nothing. Thank you so much for thinking that my journal is good enough to have that "little touch of fame." =.)

 

 

The Day After

                                     

 I had a hard time trying to fax the apartment application today. The secretary thought that I might have done it wrong, so she tried to do it herself, and it still didn't go. Was it an omen or was God telling me to wait?

I did a couple of groups, but then it rained, so I couldnt do another group during fourth period. I tried to do another group during seventh period, but all of the kids were cleaning out their lockers, so I couldn't do groups then.

Then, I saw it. The people who offered me the job sent me an email that they gave the job to someone else. How strange is that?! Sounds to me as if God spared me. All I know is that after I got that email, I felt shock, relief, and then, worry about where I will be working in September.

I called my boss, and he was speechless. I asked him if I should come in to see the director anyway or not. He said I should keep the appointment.

I went to talk to my director, as scheduled. He was shocked to hear the news. He was prepared to help me move financially and physically. Wow. I feel bad for doubting him now.

He called the people in Corpus while I was there and put them on speaker phone, so I could hear what she had to say about me. Her voice was soft and she didnt have anything bad to say about me. She just said that I didn't respond quickly enough, and then, she asked him what kind of a worker I am, as if she was reconsidering. My boss said that if he was going to work for her, he would prefer to work in that far away town. That tells me a lot.

The problem is that now he has nowhere to put me. The grant for the schools we were expecting to get didnt come through.  He said he is going to think about it over the weekend.

 

Thank you, Angela, for this beautiful tag. I love it! =.)

Job Offer

                                                    

Dear Diary,

As you recall, I interviewed for a position in Corpus Christi last month. I was looking forward to finally moving back to Corpus, but unfortunately, they turned me down.

You can only imagine how surprised I was when they called me for another interview this past Monday. The bad thing is that they did not give me an address or a time to meet them. When I got into Corpus Christi, they made me wait until almost noon, because they were working on a project. I thought it was kind of rude for them not to give me a time or place to meet them, especially since the location of the job was not in Corpus, and then to make me wait all morning for them.

I wonder if they are trying to fill a place that nobody wants. It is 82 miles from Corpus, and it is a rural town in the middle of nowhere. The one apartment complex in town is way too much for my pocketbook. It will take a whole paycheck just to live there. I will have to wait for the next paycheck to buy food. Moving would involve having to pay rent and utilities in two places and renting a UHaul or getting a mover and packing. I hate the process of moving.

The odd thing is that my immediate boss didn't want me to leave and then he suggests that I move. He thinks that an opportunity like this might not present itself again if I turn them down. He suggested that I talk with our director and let him know what is going on.

Minutes later, our director called me. He said that my boss had talked to him about my problem. He offered to give me a bonus so that I could move and I dont know what else, because I was in shock at his words. He also said that the principal does not want me to be there next year, trying to console me by saying that the school where I am at has never had anyone there two years in a row because the principal does not like them.

I was half listening to what he was saying. In my mind, I was wondering if he has already given my school to someone else and is blaming it on the principal... although I must say that the principal at my school gives the impression that she is better than others, she is not approachable, and she does play favorites. He said that she was ok with me in the middle of the school year. I wonder if she changed her mind or if he has already decided whom he is going to place where I am at. I know that I really do not want to be at that school another year, not because of the kids, but because of the administration. 

I am supposed to go in to talk to my director tomorrow afternoon. He said that if I decide not to go, he will see what he can do. To me, it sounds as if he has already given my school to someone else, because he thought that I wanted to take this job.

I know I have to make a decision, but I still do not know what to do. There is still so much work to complete. I have no idea how I will be able to complete my work and prepare for the move at the same time.

What if I don't like it there? What if I get stuck with no money in a town where there are no other employment opportunites? How would I pay that high rent?

 

Crime Scene Investigation

This graphic brings back memories of when I worked as an investigator and when I worked in a jail... =.)

QUESTIONS FROM my Coffee friend: Dawn @ Carpe Diem, http://journals.aol.com/princesssaurora/CarpeDiem/

What were you doing at midnight last night? I was debating whether to go to Corpus Christi or not. I have a job interview on Monday, but they didn't give me the address or the time to be there!

Do you go to church? Yes. I go to the 6:30 a.m. mass in a town that is about 20-25 minutes away. There is a very large Shrine there. I miss going to the shrine in Rockport, Texas, but I moved. I love being Catholic, because we have a lot of traditions.

What did you eat for breakfast this morning? I took my thyroid medication. I have to wait to eat. I hate that. I forgot what I ate for breakfast. LOL ... sorry. I do remember trying to figure out what to eat, because I haven't gone marketing. What DID I eat?!

Who is your Mature (Older Man/Woman) Crush: I love Richard Gere. He looks like an old boyfriend that I had a huge crush on. 

Are you for world peace: Whothe hell would say "No" to this?  (LOL @ previous unedited answer.)

Have you ever been involved with the police? My degree is in Criminal Justice, so of course, I knew a lot of cops. I had a cop boyfriend whom I blessed with some juicy memories and vice versa. =.)

 I do so love a man in uniform. =.)

Have you ordered anything by mail in the past week? I'm still thinking about the previous question. LOL... Sorry. No. I have not ordered anything by mail... Thinking about those handcuffs, though. LOL...

What did you want "to be" when you were a child? I wanted to be an artist, but life took me in another direction.

How would you go about purifying your own soul? I think God has already worked on that! I am very pure now. =.) Stop it!!! Well, at least I have my juicy memories!! =.)

If you had to guess two people at work were having an affair, which two would pair up? There is a man teacher who is always looking down my blouse. Lately, I have seen him paying extra attention to one of the vice principals. She is pretty but her husband is not. If they are not having an affair, I would say that it is possible for it to be in the works.  

Takethe third letter of your name and tell 5 things you have in the house that begin with that letter.  N: Oh, this is not fair... What starts with N????! nail polish, nickel, nude painting, nopales, Nestle's Quik, Nair, nail file, nail brush, nails, navy blue blazer, myself when I am naked, nipples. LOL @ got carried away...

That was fun... leave me a comment if you decide to play along!

Mother's Day 2007

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts.  A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child.  ~Sophia Loren

 

 

Who ran to help me when I fell,
And would some pretty story tell,
Or kiss the place to make it well?
My mother.
~Ann Taylor

 

 

 

Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own.  ~Aristotle

 

 

Women know
The way to rear up children (to be just)
They know a simple, merry, tender knack
Of tying sashes, fitting baby shoes,
And stringing pretty words that make no sense,
And kissing full sense into empty words.
~Elizabeth Barrett Browning

 

God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers.  ~Jewish Proverb 

                  

A mother holds

her children's hands

for a little while,

their hearts forever.

Teacher Appreciation Week

                                

 This week was Teacher Appreciation Week. We have had sweetbread, baked potatoes, chili, and today, we had lasagna and salad from Olive Garden. It has been good, because I haven't had to buy lunch all week.

I don't make the kind of money that teachers make, so I decided to send "Teacher Appreciation" emails decorated with pretty graphics for each day of this week. 

 

On Monday, I sent out a teacher joke. On Tuesday, I sent a poem called "I am your student." On Wednesday, I think I sent out some quotes about teaching...  oops at my memory. Today, I sent a poem called "I am a teacher." 

 

I was surprised that when we were eating at lunch together, one of the teachers commented that she didn't want the emails to end. I have received very little response from the staff about the emails, so I thought they were not paying attention, but it looks as if they have been reading them!

 

Tomorrow, I am sending a game that I made up called "Who's That Teacher?" I think it is a clever idea. Here is what it will look like... 

 

WHO'S THAT TEACHER?!@#

 

How well do you know your teachers? Don't compare answers with others or it could cost you. Please submit your answers no later than 2:30 p.m.

 

1. IS ENGAGED

2. TOOK BALLET AS A CHILD

3. RAISES PIGS

4. WAS AT TRAVIS LAST SUMMER

5. HAD CHILDREN LATE IN LIFE

6. EATS SNICKERS CANDY BARS

7. OFFERED MONEY TO STOP FORWARDS

8. WEARS TWO KEYCHAINS FOR LUCK

9. FAVORITE TIME IS SATURDAY NIGHT

10. WANTS TO BE A LOSER

11. HAS A MASTER'S DEGREE AND CAN DRIVE A BUS

12. LIVES WITH PARENTS

13. DECORATED A PUMPKIN WITH SON

14. HAS PSYCHEDELIC ART PAGES

15. HAS A SON WHO GOES TO SCHOOL IN MEXICO

16. CAN FIX A COMPUTER

17. WAS IN THE MILITARY

18. WILL BE RECIEVING SOME MONEY

19. WORKS WITH HIS/HER CHILDREN

20. LIVED ON A RANCH AS A CHILD

21. DOESNT WANT TO RETIRE

22. DRIVES A SILVER CAR

23. HAS LIVED WITH TURKEY ABOVE

24. HAS WORN AN AFRO

 

 

Last month, I went to interview for a job in Corpus Christi. Although I don't know if I would like to return to working for a woman, I was disappointed that they turned me down.

 

Yesterday, I was surprised to receive a phone call from the woman who asked me to interview last month. She wanted me to go to interview for a job in a rural town that is halfway between here and Corpus Christi. It's in the middle of nowhere, really. I turned her down right away, but then, I thought about it and sent her an email today.

 

She returned my email, saying that she and her boss were saddened that I had turned down their offer for another interview. I was surprised at the misspelled words in her email but even more surprised that she gave me reasons why she feels that I would be good for that job. I'm wondering if it is a site they have had trouble placing someone at. Sounds as if it would be a position where I could pretty much run my own show, but I don't know because at the previous interview. They sounded kind of controlling... Maybe they would only be controlling if I was in Corpus Christi. It sounds as if I already have the job; doesn't it?! I am still behind in my work, but my boss gave me the ok to go to the interview on Monday.

 

I wasn't able to do much data entry today, because the computer was down, so I came home at around five o'clock instead of working later. Thank you so much for keeping me in your prayers. It helps to know that I have angels on the net. =.)

 

 

The Strategy

                                                             

Oh, you have no idea how much I wish I didn't have to go to work on Mondays, Marilyn!! It would be so sweet to just SLEEP!!!!!

This week will be another busy week. I have a deadline to meet. I have to get my data entry up to date by Friday.

My boss sent out an email to all of us, saying that there is no excuse for us to be 50, 60, or 80 cases behind. Dang! I thought I was behind, but I guess there are others who are more behind than I am or maybe they are not following any kind of strategy. Thank you, God, for making me smart!!!

Forgive me for saying this, but when I received that email, I felt somewhat relieved that I am not as far behind as some of my coworkers! I thought I was the furthest behind because of the student who locked my filing cabinet; remember?! The previous worker left no key. It took months to get someone to come out to get it open.

My strategy for the next few days will be to complete what I need to complete to show that my cases are cased managed. Most of them are already, except for the ones I opened up last month which can't be case managed until this month anyway. After that, I will put in the grades and progress reports.

I know it is kind of like cleaning house for company, but it will buy me a little bit of time, just in case I am not caught up by Friday. Good plan!!

Thanks, Donna (nightmare mom), for this great tag. =.)

XOXO,

Win =.)

Mother's Day Gifts

Winning With Win

Weekly Tips/Hints

 

 

Today's Helpful Tips:

 

Mother's Day Gifts

for Mom or Nana

 

For me, the sweetest gifts that I remember from my kids were when they would clean the house and make me breakfast in bed, but for the people who prefer to give a gift that you can buy or put in a box, I hope the following suggestions will be helpful.

 

 

1. A locket with special photos inside is a perfect remembrance gift.

 

2. A pair of slippers that have a smooth, comfortable feel can make her feel luxurious.

 

 

3. Truth, goodness, and beauty care considered the three basic virtues necessary for the creation of a bonsai. She has probably shown these virtues many times over.

 

 

4. If she has reached that point in her life when she is seeking to get rid of clutter and downsize, then a gift of bath and body products is something she can enjoy without guilt.

 

5. Candles are relaxing, romantic, fascinating, and useful. One of the best things about candles is that they can be used up and don't add to the clutter of your home.

 

6. Picture frames for her favorite photos are great gifts. The latest trend is to give a digital picture frame so that her favorite pictures are continually on display.

 

 

7. Find or put together a gift basket that you know will delight her. You can focus on her hobbies, on chocolate or other favorite foods, or on items to help her relax.

 

 

8. Give her agift of tranquility and serenity through the relaxing, calming sounds of a desktop water fountain.

 

 

9. As a last result, if you can't think of anything more original, you can fall back on the old classic gift of flowers. A gift of blooming orchid plant is especially delightful.

 

 

10. I know there were ten, but I cannot remember what else was on the list as the top ten Mother's Day gifts. For some reason, fragrance comes to mind. We all like to smell good, but sometimes, we feel too guilty about paying the high cost of a favorite perfume instead of investing it on our family. It just seems so much nicer when someone remembers what fragrance we like to wear and buys it for us. =.)

 

Women of Power

                              

The principal returned my Addendum to my ROPES proposal. I was surprised to see that she has been approving things left and right, but when it comes to my proposals, which were probably first in line, she did not approve them, This makes me very sad, because I really wanted this for the kids.

 If I had that much power, I would use my power for good, not for evil. Some women test their powers. They try to humble you. They like to see you with your head between your legs. They like to walk all over you...

Nothing that I do is for my own glory. Everything that I do is for the students. I wish she could see that. Why is it that men bosses allow you to shine but women bosses do not?! 

My last proposal (the dancing), she said that they didn't have the space for the kids to do the dancing, and that her employees took preference over my program.

Women bosses just want you to remain in the dark and not say a word, because it might call attention to yourself. I know she is not my boss, but she still makes the decisions to approve or disapprove any and all proposals. Oh, to have that much power. If I were a boss, I would be a great woman boss, because I am not a jealous woman...

                                        

One of the teachers says that the principal discriminates against the Spanish kids. The principal came to this country from Mexico. If she is a success story of the American dream, why would she want to descriminate against these kids? These kids try really hard. 

When I was recruiting kids, she told me that she didn't want any more Spanish kids in my program. She really is nobody to tell me which kids to pick. All of the Spanish kids qualify. Was it that she didn't want me to get the numbers? Was it that she was trying to get me to fail? Or was it that she really does discriminate against the Spanish kids?

I am caught in a tangled web of emotions right now. It makes me sad that my program is not recognized as an important part of the school. The person who worked my program last year has really messed it up for me this year, because she never did anything for the kids. This is like a marriage that is only on paper.  This has been a most difficult year for me at this school. I have had to swallow a lot of comments from the staff who do not believe or understand the great impact that my program can have on the school.

I am trying to figure out what I can do for the kids before school is out without having to go through the principal to do it...

The people in administration are always walking around with their nose up in the air as if their butt smells better than ours.  Why do people with power think that they are so much better than others? Surely, they put their panties on one leg at a time. 

"Remember: You are no different, Forrest. If God had wanted us to all be alike, He would have put braces on all of our legs."