SICK

I have no idea how I got this cold, but it seems that many of my journal friends are sick, too. Do you think it is contagious? Perhaps it is an allergic reaction to the ads AOL put in my journal?!# 

Have you ever forced yourself to eat? I would have to say that today was the first day that I have ever had to do that. Normally, I just eat!

I just read a journal that had 43 comments. How do they do it to keep up with all the people who leave comments in their journals? My AOL is so slow that I do good to read at least two other journals a day, so if I havent hit your journal lately, I'm paving my way towards it; okay?

When I first started my journal, I wasnt concerned about comments at all. The writing was for my own sanity and for my own competition with myself. I was my own woman in my own right ~ strong and determined. I was alone in the world, but I was good at it.

Here, I am an hour away from my mother and just the thought of it makes me feel like giving up. Is it any wonder that I cannot get motivated to diet and lose this weight?! I should have stayed in Rockport.

In my distress, I filled my apartment with too much stuff and too much bad chi. It's sad to think of all the "mistakes" in my closet~ wasted money on things that dont work! It's sad to know that I cant fit into my pretty clothes. It's sad to know that there are only some things that fit, and because of that, they are the only ones that I have to wear over and over and over again.

Working hard at work is one thing, but to have to work hard at home, too, is overwhelming. No wonder I am so stressed. If I am ever to get out of here, if I am ever to move forward, I have to get rid of the things that I dont need, even if it is only setting aside one or two boxes or sacks of stuff per day.

I hate to think that with all of this stuff, I have turned into my mother. This holiday, I have wasted time, because I feel so sick that I just want to crawl into bed.

I made a mess in the living room, because I finally emptied the trunk of my car, which contained boxes from my past two jobs. It's wierd to think that I jumped into three jobs within the last month, but it's true. I will not be able to take all of my stuff into my new job, because I have a tiny corner of the room, and the walls are made of brick, so you cant hang anything, not even a bulletin board. I need to see what I can salvage to make my job easier at work, and then decide what to do with the rest of this stuff. I am happy to report that I can now see the floor. =.)

Today, I had planned to tackle the bedroom, but I crawled back into bed. I decided to soak in a hot tub to see if that would make me feel better, but I am still going through one kleenex after another. And now at past 3:30 p.m., here you find me reading journals and finally adding an entry.

Am I stupid or something?! I just dont want to crawl back into bed, but I know that I should and so I will........again.

Didnt overeat today. Hooray. I'm doing better at controlling my eating.

Trying not to spread my germs on you,

Win =.)