Once Upon a Blue Moon

                                 

Have you ever heard the expression: "It happens only once in a blue moon."? Well, that is because a blue moon only happens every 2.7 years. What is a blue moon? A blue moon is a second moon in the same calendar month. This year, it happened on May 31st in the Western Hemisphere.

                                                                     

It seems so appropriate that there should be a blue moon just as I am closing yet another chapter of my life. Looking back at my previous job was on yesterday's agenda... to reflect and feel at full force the affects of the many lives who filled my days for the past nine months.

                   

Once again, I face yet another crossroad of my life. It is time, once again, for making decisions.

Have you ever noticed that although your world may be upside down, life continues all around you?! The sun continues to come out each morning. The sun continues to go to sleepat night. The moon continues to rise in the evening. The moon continues to go to sleep with the dawn. The birds continue to sing. Twelve o'clock traffic is just as frustrating...

Other people's lives do not stop just because something bad has happened to you. People do not stop laughing and having fun just because something bad happened to you. Most people will never know what happened to you, unless if you tell them, and how are you going to tell the whole world to stop what they are doing and listen to the bad thing that happened to you... Why should that woman in Africa care about the bad thing that happened to you? Why should that four year old in Wisconsin care about the bad thing that happened to you? Why should that old man on the park bench care about the bad thing that happened to you? People are too busy with their own lives to worry about the bad thing that happened to you, especially if they have no idea who you are or why you are so special that they should stop whatever they are doing to find out about the bad thing happened to you... And how do you know that this bad thing that happened to you is a bad thing, anyway?!# Hummm... interesting questions...

I could dwell on what happened for days, months, and even years or decades. I could try to drain as much sympathy from everybody who dares to make any kind of contact with me. I could let it eat me up until I make myself sick. I could.

Why is it so much easier for me to deal with losing a job compared to losing at a relationship?!# Hummm... yet another interesting question...

It is not my fault that my mother is not concerned about what happens to me. What can I possibly do to make her love me? Absolutely nothing... It shouldn't matter that she is family. Trying to change somebody is a ridiculous thought. The only one I can change is myself...

It has been 10 years since I left my exhusband, and I cannot seriously say that I have been in a relationship since. The last guy that I dated was for much less than 9-1/2 weeks and it was as exciting as watching paint dry. Why should I waste my time dwelling on someone who was clearly a loser? How dare he tease womenwith that beautiful package of a body of his. It is a sad thing for any woman to have to unwrap him if all she is going to find is an itsy bitsy cracker jack prize inside. What did he have to offer anyway? Absolutely nothing... only something that looked like a penis but much, much smaller... pathetic!

What could I have done differently to make things right? Absolutely nothing. I did my part. It was not I who failed them. It was they who failed me.

Looking back at my past was on yesterday's agenda. Looking back is no longer an option. I did my best, and that is all that I have to say about that. I do not want to look back as Lot's wife did and turn into a pillar of salt.

                                          

                              image: Shaw's Artography "Lot's Wife" can be found at www.fineart.com

Losing a job is part of life. Being unemployed is only temporary. Life has offered me a new opportunity. It has placed time into my hands, and that is something that I have not had in a very, very long time.

  I have butterflies of excitement in my tummy... excitement for a new life, a new direction, the start of a new chapter... I tell myself that every cent in my bank account is at-risk, but inside, it feels as if the butterflies are more powerful than my fears, and so I smile, and I hold my head up high... My future awaits...

Blue Moon
You saw me standing alone
Without a dream in my heart
Without a love of my own

Blue Moon
You know just what I was there for
You heard me saying a prayer for
Someone I really could care for

And then there suddenly appeared before me
The only one my arms will hold
I heard somebody whisper please adore me
And when I looked to the Moon it turned to gold

Blue Moon
Now I'm no longer alone
Without a dream in my heart
Without a love of my own