I continue to be overwhelmed and stressed from all the work that I have to do. Recruiting more students into my program has been very difficult, mostly because of all the testing but also because this is career month. We had speakers all day yesterday and there will be more speakers coming on Friday.
On top of that, it was mandatory for me to attend a Seminar today. I am so overwhelmed with work. I really did not want to be there... and... The speaker was really boring!
Worst of all, we were in a tiny little room, with seats arranged so close to each other that it felt as if I was an overweight sardine, sitting in a can of sardines. Imagine sitting like that all day.Yes, today, I felt what an overweight person feels when they don't fit in a skinny world.
At lunchtime, my friends and I went to eat at Logan's. I had a 6 oz steak, baked potato, house salad with Italian dressing, and iced water with lemon slices. After lunch, I felt so bloated that sitting in that tight space became even more uncomfortable...
This speaker was so knowledgeable. How could he be so boring?!#The time I sat there seemed to go on forever.
Once was a time, when men would drool whenever they caught me walking past them. But today, when I walked by, no man bothered to look at me.
When I walked by the mirror, it was hard for me to look at the image of the woman in the mirror. She was twice the size of the woman I remember.
My mind knows that I hurt the woman inside with every morsel of food that I put into my mouth. My mind refuses to listen to the warning of the woman in the mirror. My mind is afraid to allow the Woman within to be noticed. My mind is afraid of trusting. My mind continues to hide the Woman in the Glass Box from the gaze of men. Yes, today, my image turned men into stone, but in my mind, my success did not feel like a triumph.
4 comments:
Ah, but you ate healthy today. One step, one day at a time. I'd go utterly nuts sitting so crammed in, and with a boring lecturer? ALL day? I'd hate it. Which could have brought you down, cuz sometimes, attitude, how we're feeling about ourselves, about our lives at that moment, is what a guy notices most. :) You'll be fine -- Robin
That sardine can sounds familiar...I took have felt that way....Just takes things one day at a time...stress does not help your mental well being.....do something wonderful for yourself...you deserve it!
Take Care
Ellie
One day at a time...one step at a time....one meal at a time...one BITE at a time...that is the only way you can do this. As long as you are on YOUR program (whatever program that is) right NOW, this very second....that is all you can do.
It doesn't matter what you did yesterday. It matters what are you going to do TODAY. What are you going to do NEXT?
You can do this...WE can do this....don't give up.
((hugs))
Jeanne
I sure hope that your works gets better for you soon and that you start feeling better emotionally too. I know what you mean though as I have days like that as well. Love, Shelly
Post a Comment