Tale of 2 Critics

             

I found a small string of gas stations that featured cheaper gas prices at about 9 cents less than last week, so I made a quick U-Turn and filled up my car with gas... Unfortunately, it still took an incredible chunk out of my wallet.

Next door to the gas station was a donut shoppe. I am not a donut person, but I have passed by that donut shoppe for the past ten years and never gone in, so yesterday, I decided to go check them out...

First of all, I was extremely surprised to see that one cinnamon roll sold for $1.50... Yes... ONE.... I wondered why one roll would be so expensive...

Customers and more customers came in and customers at the drive-through window, too... What was the fascination with these donuts? I had a continued conversation with the clerk between customers, commenting about the high price of the donuts, but all of the customers said the same thing, "They are worth it. They are so good!"

Then, a salt-n-pepper haired man walked in and said that I made him hungry standing there, so he decided to come in to buy a donut. He kepts asking if the clerk was my boyfriend. He appeared to be flirting as if he wanted me to notice him... He had a certain air about him, as if he was a regular customer and quickly ordered his donut of choice and a cup of coffee... He kept hanging around us and interrupting my conversation with the clerk... and then, he finally walked over to a table to sit down with his treats...

I do not normally shop for sweets... But this shop brought back memories of my college days when we would stay up all night and cram for exams... In the wee hours of the morning, when we were all tired out from studying, we'd head to the local donut shop for a donut... flashback from the 70's...

So, like a donut virgin, I continued to ask my questions, "How often are the donuts prepared? What time does the baker show up for work? Which donuts sell the most? etc etc etc..."

It was obvious that geography did not play a barrier for this man who had made himself from the counter to a nearby table...  He kept talking his mouth off as if it were set on automatic pilot...

He made some wierd comment about his being a REAL man... He stood up and said he had muscles, as he pulled up his sleeve to expose his upper arm to prove it...

The arm was an ordinary arm... If there were any hidden muscles somewhere on that arm, I don't think a magnifying glass would have helped me to find them... It was clear that my arms were way bigger and more defined than his...

He looked at me and said that his wife was beautiful, but she died of cancer two months ago... He kept repeating that his wife was beautiful... Then he looked at me and said, "But you're chunky."

           

The donut clerk was embarrassed, apologizing for the man's comments... adding that the man always goes in there, strutting his arrogance...

I can understand the man's pain of losing his wife... but it seems that the broken record never changes...

To a man, a woman can have all kinds of degrees in the world, but if she is not beautiful, she is nothing...

I guess he was hurt because I didn't pay any attention to him, but it's men like that that drive me to stuff my face with the entire contents of as many refrigerators as I can find...

It's as if some mysterious trigger unknown to your body goes boom in your brain... It's an attack bomb... some kind of wierd abstract thinking that makes you feel as if you are punishing them from ever finding the beautiful Venus that is within yourself, because you do NOT want a man like THAT to EVER have the pleasure of sampling your deliciousness... lol @ the way I think sometimes... because I know that in the long run, the only one I am  actually punishing is myself...

When I got home, I sat down to sample the popular donut... I have no idea what the people at the donut shoppe were talking about... The donut did not compare to the texture, freshness, and price of a donut from the local supermarket... Oh, well, at least I know not to return to the scene of the crime... I laid the donut aside and sat down in front of the television to watch my telenovela... hoping to get through the donut shoppe incident with a little bit of distraction.. but I had no idea what was to happen next...

Camilla is a beautiful, sexy 50-year-old woman who has always dated much younger men... She was busy trying to decide what to wear to meet a 30-year-old man whom she had contracted to remodel her kitchen. She slipped into an enticing black halter dress with rhinestone straps and met him at the restaurant. When she arrived, he was busy kissing the hands of a 25-year-old woman... Camilla assumed that he wanted her to participate in a ménage à trois, but she did not expect the surprise that showed up next... The young man had arranged for his 57-year-old father to be Camilla's blind date... The dad kept making comments about their being the same age, etc...

Camilla has always fought the aging process, supplementing her lifestyle with diet, exercise, sauna, etc. When she made comments about how much younger she was than his dad, everybody laughed as if she were making a joke... 

Needless to say, Camilla did not stay for dinner... She told the man that she does not go out with old men and made a quick exit...

When she got home, she took off her party clothes and her makeup and cried at herself in the mirror... She put on her exercise clothes, and in the privacy of her own home, she got down on the floor and began exercising like crazy...lifting weights, running, etc... but all the while, she was crying to herself... realizing that age had finally caught up with her...

Like Camilla, I have not found a man my age who is worth my time. This late in my life, sometimes, I wonder if I ever will... I get so busy with LIFE and SURVIVAL that looking for love has never been an option...

It's funny how some men are always too eager to tell us how we don't meet their expectations of beauty... and yet, as they age, they convince themselves that they are actually becoming better looking...lol

P.S. I am sorry, but I have been so distracted by LIFE that I had to delete all of my mail to give myself a fresh start... Please keep writing! So far, I have no mail... and no messages... not even from my mother... lol