LEGS

I woke up early yesterday to throw out the trash and check my mailbox, which are on the other side of the complex... I thought that was a good start to my day... Little did I know what would happen next...

I changed into a brown top with brown sequins at the neckline, a pair of khaki capris and then it took me a good while to put on my favorite brown espadrilles with gold embroidery because they have to be laced at the ankle... I put on my face and scrunched my hair a little bit, grabbed my purse and thought I was on my way out the door, but then, I couldn't find my keys!

I search in between and underneath the cushions of the sofa... nothing... I got hot looking for them, so I took off my top and kept looking. It was already 10 a.m. and I knew I wasn't going to make it to church... I kept looking... It was 11 a.m. and still no keys... It got so hot that I took off the pants, but I kept looking...

I always put my keys on a hook by the door... Why didn't I do that this time?!!...

       I looked in the living room... I looked in and on the desk... I looked in the kitchen... I looked on the dining table... I looked in the bathroom... I looked in the bedroom... I emptied stuff to look inside and dumped things back... I looked underneath the chairs... I looked in all the places that I could think of where they might have fallen... I looked and I looked and I looked... Four hours running and still no keys... What gives?!

I lit a candle and prayed to St Anthony, the Saint of Lost Articles... I went back into the living room and sat on the sofa... thinking... wondering... trying to remember my steps from the time I came back into the apartment...Where could they be?!! The keys had to be staring at me in the face! I decided to do a double sweep at all the places I had looked in before... The keys were in the first place that I had looked...

Thank you, St Anthony, for finding my lost keys, but why hadn't they showed up the first time that I looked for them there?!!! Strange... Are demons trying to stop me from going to church?! This is the second time that I have been blocked from attending church...

After all that looking, I was exhausted... I wasted all morning yesterday looking for the keys, but I also wasted the rest of the day because my bones hurt so much...

I got down on the floor and tried to do some stretch exercises... Oh, so painful...

People need legs for everything! It has been over a year since my last fall, but my legs still hurt so much, especially the right one... When I lay on the floor or try to sit in a yoga pose, I can see that the right leg is sitting much higher than the left and my right leg is shorter than my left...

Living with this pain makes me feel as if I am in bondage... It feels as if my legs are tied up... The pains in my legs make it hard to do much of anything... Bringing groceries up the stairs is so painful that it takes me two days to bring in groceries... Going down the stairs to take out the trash to the other side of the complex is hard, too... Getting dressed takes longer than usual, especially having to put on underwear, pants, pantyhose, or shoes... Housework is a chore, especially picking up things off the floor, bending, and stooping... mopping, sweeping, vacuuming... Oh, so hard...

I think of all the people who are born without legs and those who are born with deformed legs... And I am grateful that my legs at least LQQK normal, but I just wish that they didn't hurt... I spent hours trying to stretch out the pain, but I am still hurting...I miss walking in high heels, I miss running, I miss dancing... It's as if a part of me has been harshly taken away from me...

I wanna be where the people are
I wanna see
Wanna see 'em dancing
Walking around on those
[What do you call 'em? oh, feet!]

Flipping your fins you don't get too far
Legs are required for jumping, dancing
strolling along down the
[What's that word again?] street

Up where they walk
Up where they run
Up where they stay all day in the sun
Wandering free
Wish I could be
Part of that world