TheLionsDen

                    

December 18 was the anniversary of my divorce from my children's dad. How many years has it been since I was finally liberated from that horrible "marriage"? I don't remember if it has been 28 or 29 years... Most people celebrate their wedding anniversaries. Here I am, thanking God for another anniversary of my divorce.

In my youth, I used to push my hair back from my forehead, because I didn't want to have the widow's peak that my mother and brother have. I always thought that if you had that, you would end up being a widow. Unfortunately, the father of my children is still alive. I know that sounds harsh, but why is it that bad men never suffer, and good men are always so hard to find...

December 18 is also the 22nd anniversary of my graduation from college. I was the first person in my family to graduate from college. That has to be one of the hardest hardships of my life... having to work full-time, study full-time, and take care of a household and children with no car and no help from family or friends... Thank you, Lord, for seeing me through all that!

I wish I had been able to spend this December 18 celebrating, but unfortunately, I had to spend the day in my apartment, cleaning, and waiting for the Pest Control people. Why couldn't they have picked another day?!

There was very little warning. I saw the note the day before when I was going down the stairs to apply at what I thought was going to be a Job Fair. I saw the note and thought about turning around and cleaning instead, but no... I decided to go to apply.

Not many people showed up. It wasn't a job fair at all. It was just an agency looking for people. I was disappointed at the results of the tests that I took. I really thought I had Microsoft down pact, but then, I AM self-taught. I guess there are easier ways of doing things on there. I just do what works... Talk about lowering your self esteem! Still, the girl was surprised at the speed and accuracy of my typing test and that I only missed one question which was the lead for the error or correct answer for the question that followed it. (The test was on grammar and math.) The girl gave me a bit of hope that I might be considered for a particular job that she's working on...

So I came home and ate and relaxed in front of the TV with 12 Corazones. As usual, they got rid of another Cancer. I hate when they do that, because I do not get to hear all of the advice that the astrologist gives for each of the remaining zodiac signs...

Then, the phone rang. It was Daniel. I was surprised that he was calling me because he usually calls on Sunday and he usually doesn't call twice a week... I was even more surprised to hear that he called to tell me there was a probation officer opening in Corpus Christi. Like, hello! You know I don't have the money for January's rent. What makes you think that I will have the money to relocate now! Duh!

I have known D for at least 30 years. He is 48 years old, has never been married, eats at his mom's everyday, and does not want anything serious with anyone. Yep, and he is a typical Leo and a typical male, so full of himself. He calls me at least once a week to tell me how his week went. I guess I have been nothing more than a sounding board all of these years. Although we are friends, he has never taken the time to really get to know me or to see my worth.

When I was left abandoned with my two kids, no man wanted anything serious with me. They were only after what they could get, seeing nothing more than a great body and a great set of boobs. I would have to say that D is no different. Whenever he thinks of me, he probably thinks of my boobs first... And yet, I allow him to continue to be my "friend." Now that's crazy...

So anyway, after that long conversation with D over nothing, I didn't have time to clean so I went to sleep and got up at about 1:00 to start cleaning what seems to me as frightening as a den full of lions.

Ever since the last fall and the herniated disks in my back, it has been so difficult for me to do housework, get dressed, and bring groceries up the stairs. Every little movement I make wears me out, especially bending down to pick things up. I find myself losing my balance a lot.

What would normally take someone to do in half an hour takes me days and sometimes weeks. When I clean, I do a little bit and then, I have to rest, and then I do a little bit more and rest, etc.

I look at the clock and feel frustrated because it looks as if I have done so little, but I cannot clean like I used to, so what I did was take some of the stuff into the bedroom and closed the door to the mess so they wouldnt see it. So what does that mean? That means that I still have a bedroom full of stuff that I need to get to... later... Ugh!

There are still boxes of things in the dining room, but I just cleaned around them. I hate having to clean like that, but I had to do what I could in a hurry. After the Pest Control people left, I took time to rest. 

When I get a job, I am going to hire someone to come to help me to clean this place right. =.)

We only had two days of cold weather. Never fails, but at least my bones are not hurting today...

Christmas continues to go on all around me. All I want is for someone to tell me to come work for them, and if it is not until January, all I want is for them to tell me with enough notice so that I can enjoy what days are left of this year.