Friday, April 6, 2007

Good Friday

                        

This painting is called "The Two Crowns." If you look closely, one King rides in Glory, while the other King is being Crucified. 

On Good Friday, Jesus gave up His life for us. He was only 33 years old. On Good Friday, I died in 1980. I was 26 years old. On Good Friday, Selena Quintanilla was murdered in 1995. She was only 23 years old.

I always remember Good Friday as a day of darkness and betrayal, a day without the sun. It is as if the heavens themselves bend down their knee in their deepest sorrow...  The day Jesus died was said to be a day of darkness. Jesus was betrayed with a kiss by Judas. The day Selena was murdered was a day of darkness. Selena was betrayed by her fan club president. The day I died was also day of darkness... a day that my mother believes I was betrayed by my ex-mother-in-law through the power of witchcraft, which by the way, did not prevail, because I am still alive and she is not. 

The year was 1980. I was on my way to work. I had just dropped off my oldest at the day care and I was on my way to Doddridge and Alameda to drop off the baby at the nursery. All of a sudden, I was hit by a truck. My car was smashed completely in from the driver's side to the passenger's side. I have no idea how they got me out of that tiny car.

When I came to, I was in an ambulance. A handsome young man with blond hair was squirting water into my mouth. I smiled in gratitude and closed my eyes. When I came to the second time, the nurses were busy cutting off my clothes. I was upset that they were cutting up my favorite sweater, but I could not talk. Why couldn't I talk? I felt so weak. My motherly instincts motioned for my baby. She was in the arms of the nursery staff. She had lost her shoe, but she was okay. I motioned them for my purse for phone numbers, and my older daughter. Even though I couldn't talk, I was able to get things taken care of in a matter of minutes. I closed my eyes in relief. 

When I came to the third time, I was being flipped over in all directions on an X-Ray table. I opened my eyes, smiled at the X-Ray technician, and closed my eyes. 

When I was on the operating table. I could hear them talking. They did not expect me to live, and if I survived, they said that I would never walk again, that I would have to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair. And then, it happened...

My soul was floating above my body. I witnessed the doctors below as if I was watching an episode of Grey's Anatomy, where all the surgeons were rushing to save a life. There was the magnificent white light that people talk about, as if it was ready to envelope me into all it's splendar. 

My body was a series of broken bones. They took four teeth out to put my mouth back together, and wired my teeth shut so that they wouldn't fall out. My face was as big and wide as my shoulders from the trauma of hitting the steering wheel. My hair was full of glass from the windshield. And I was wearing a body brace underneath my clothes. 

I was a mess, and yet, on my last breath, I pleaded with God to allow me to live... I didn't want my ex-husband to take the girls, and I couldn't bear the cruelty of allowing them to be raised by my mother. I needed time to take care of my girls until they were grown and educated and could take care of themselves, but it was clearly something that I did not want to do from the seat of a wheelchair.

Somehow, I was able to convince God to give me a second opportunity.  I went into a coma after that, and I do not know for how long I was out. I suppose it was my body's way of healing itself. When I came to, recooperating was not an easy task, especially since I had no one to help me, and once again, I was without a car. But I was determined to walk again. I was determined to make a living for my girls. I was determined... 

I thank God for making me a smart woman, and  I thank God for my savings. I might have had trouble standing on my own two feet physically, but mentally, I was standing on solid ground.

It was by the Grace of God that I was able to get on that bus to go back and forth to my appointments. No workman's comp. No income coming in. I had to go back to work, no matter what condition my body was in.

Unfortunately, I lost my job,because the doctors would not release me to go back to work, so body brace underneath my clothes for at least a year and my teeth wired shut, I got on that bus and went to look for another job.  Fortunately, I was able to land a ten-hour work job at six days a week, and by the time the job ended, I was able to afford to buy another  used car so I could continue to support my children.

The power of the mind is stronger than you think. If you think you are defeated, you are. If you have the slightest ray of hope that you will make it, you stand a greater chance of making it, no matter how big the obstacles. Yes, there have been many hard days in my life, but whenever I feel overwhelmed by the everyday hardships of my life, I look back at Good Friday... that magnificent day when I died and lived to tell about it... If you can beat those kinds of odds, you can get through anything.


WITH GOD,

ALL THINGS

ARE POSSIBLE.


     

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

What a testimony.  Thanks for sharing your story.

Anonymous said...

Amen to that!  Hugs,TerryAnn

Anonymous said...

I had already read this and it was one i was going to comment on later, You have shown such bravery and i know for a fact i would not measure up to that bravery.
lots of love Katie

Anonymous said...

God is stronger than witchcraft, especially when you pray to Him to help you prevail.   I'm thankful you shared this, that you are alive and capable and ABLE to share this.   Walk, rise.  Happy Easter:)  -- Robin

Anonymous said...

WIN,

EVERYTIME I FEEL THE URGE TO WALLOW IN A POOL OF SELF-PITY, I WILL, AS GOD AS MY WITNESS, WILL MY MIND TO YOUR POWERFUL JOURNAL ENTRY.  WHAT AMAZEMENT!  WHAT WONDER TO BEHOLD!  GOD IS SO GOOD...ALL THE TIME.  I MUST SAY THAT YOUR DETERMINATION, YOUR WILL, YOUR USE OF THE FATHOMLESS SCOPE THAT IS THE HUMAN MIND, IS A FORCE TO RECKON WITH.  I AM IN AWE OF WHAT ONE CAN ACCOMPLISH IF ONE CHOOSES TO USE THE TOOLS THAT WE HAVE BEEN GIVEN BY OUR MERCIFUL GOD.  I AM NOW MORE DETERMINED THAN EVER TO SUCCEED AT EVERY AREA OF MY LIFE AND TO NO LONGER SPEND MY TEARS IN SELF-PITY...WHAT A WASTE IT HAS BEEN TO ALLOW THE HARDSHIPS OF LIFE TO CAUSE ME TO STUMBLE THROUGH MY PRESENT AND BLUNDER MY FUTURE.  NO MORE.  THANKS, WIN.  I NEEDED THIS ENTRY MORE THAN I CAN EXPRESS.  GOD CONTINUE TO BLESS YOU!!

Anonymous said...

I didin't get an alert for this but AOHELL have been playing there games again with quite a few of us here over the pond.I found this posting doing my rounds as I call it.I am a amazed at this story and your stregnth and determination.Yes God Does answer our prayers.God Is Good.You take Care you are a marvelous person.God Bless.
Astoriasand http://journals.aol.co.uk/astoriasand/MYSIMPLERHYMES

Anonymous said...

I've been catching up on journals this weekend! God must have known the exact moment when I needed to hear your message because it came through extra loud and VERY CLEAR! You are a very courageous woman and a hero to me beyond messure. I have printed your entry so I can read it often, especially on days when I'm feeling sorry for myself and don't want to "try harder" to jump the hurdles. Thank you for sharing your story and laying a path for me to follow.....

Pooh Hugs,
Linda